Fortunate Circumstance
by Rulisu
Summary: Roxas is expelled for fighting and shipped off to some bizzare private school on the edge of Twilight Town. He's convinced this could just be the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Until a certain redheaded someone turns his luck around...
1. The last straw

I really wish I had the ability to be simple and write a nice one-shot.

But I don't.

I need to learn to like... not write so much.

Anywho, moving on!

I don't like doing Roxas/Axel because it's a major cliché but I decided for whatever reason (probably because I haven't slept all night and am a little delirious) that it's kinda cute.

So here goes!  
God, I love the stuff I come up with in the shower!

And actually, the shower revelations happen a lot more often than they should but whaddya do, right?

Description: When Roxas is expelled for getting in a fight, his parents send him to a private school on the outskirts of Twilight Town. Not only does Roxas have to give up his friends, he now has to deal with being the weird new kid. From day one, things get progressively worse until the universe decides to cut him a break in the most interesting way possible...

Disclaimer: I wish Kingdom Hearts was mine, so _so_ much! Anyone wanna get me a nice, sexy Riku for Christmas/Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa/Anyotherrandomholiday? Pwease?

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"**The last straw"**

"_Late!"_ the word ran through Roxas's head as he darted through a crowd of people on the sidewalk, waiting for the crosswalk signal to change. _"Late late late late late!" _Roxas could feel the back of his throat beginning to burn as he greedily sucked in the cool winter air around him. Roxas could see Twilight Town High looming in the distance, taunting him. His backpack bounced painfully against his back as he quickened his pace. He didn't even have to look down at his phone to know this was going to be the closest call yet. As his battered shoes began slapping against the asphalt of the parkinglot, Roxas heard the bell chiming, a high pitched artificial ringing sound that was enough to make anyone plug their ears and wince. He swore under his breath, running even faster, taking the stairs to the double doors two at a time. He dashed down the hall way, moving with the flow of students as they made their way to their classes.

_"Made it!"_ he thought triumphantly, gripping the handle on the door of his Geometry class. Then he looked through the small glass window at the people settling into desks and a lead weight dropped into his stomach. Groaning out loud, Roxas broke into a run, desperately trying to reach the other side of campus before the final bell. He could see the end of the hall getting closer and closer, that huge wooden door propped open. The sunlight streaming in through the solid glass wall distorted Roxas's reflection on the tile as he panted, dreading the seconds as they ticked away. The hall was completely empty now, except for him. _"Just a little bit longer... just a few more seconds!"_ he pleaded with a higher power. He was positive that he was in the clear when out of nowhere, a backpack slid across the smooth tile, right in his path. Clumsy by nature, Roxas wiped out on the backpack, his ankles caught in the straps. His chin hit the tile hard, as did his ribs which always seemed to stick out a bit, no matter how much he ate. Laughter erupted beside him.

"Ha ha... loser!" taunted an unmistakable voice. Roxas heard the final bell chime and he sighed, closing his eyes tightly. He rolled over onto his back and sat up, trying to pull the straps from his ankles.

"You're such an ass, Seifer." he groaned, tossing the backpack aside. He'd been tormented by Seifer and his odd bunch of flunkies for years, so random attacks like these didn't phase him much. It was almost part of his daily routine to be picked on by them. To be honest, Roxas wished that if they were going to insist on bullying him, that they get more creative than tripping him up constantly.

"Owned." Fuu's soft voice cut through Seifer's chuckling.

"_Totally_, y'know?" the great oaf Rai inputted. Roxas sighed, shaking his head at the bunch. Only Vivi, who stood at the back of the group as usual, remained silent. Roxas stood, brushing himself off. He turned on his heel without a word to the antagonists and crept down the hall to his Astronomy class. The door was still propped open and Roxas was thrilled to see that the teacher had his back to the class and was drawing an incredibly detailed model of the night sky on the chalkboard. Barely breathing, Roxas tiptoed through the rows of desks. Many of the students were asleep, or at the very least, had their head down. Some zoned out on random spots on the wall, and some where genuinely paying attention to the teacher's lesson. Olette was one of the goody goodies. As he crept up stealthily on his desk, she shot him a disapproving look, to which he only shrugged and mouthed 'I'll explain later'. He sat his backpack down gingerly next to his seat and lowered himself carefully into it. Only when his rear was safely in the plastic chair did he quietly let out the breath he'd been holding. He smiled triumphantly to himself.

"Third time this week, Roxas." the teacher said without even turning around. Roxas groaned and thumped his head on the desk. Class dragged on with it's usual monotony and Roxas was handed a detention slip as he left the room. He crumpled it and tossed it aside. Hayner was the principle's assistant and would certainly destroy any record of Roxas being assigned the detention, and would dummy up a behavior report to be sent to his Astronomy teacher. It would read something along the lines of "The student you referred to detention was well-behaved and completed many school assignments. I believe he has learned his lesson.", followed by an expertly forged signature. Olette walked beside him, glaring as she had been all during class.

"You know, Roxas, Hayner isn't going to be there to get you out of trouble forever." she scorned him. Roxas shrugged.

"I know that." he said defensively. "But I have an excuse."

"And what would that be?" Olette's eyes narrowed. They were nearing their next class, following a stream of students down the hall.

"First of all, when my alarm clock went off this morning, Sora came in and shut it off without me knowing, so I woke up 20 minutes late." he began, waving to a student he knew as she passed. "Then when I finally get to school, I'm thinkin' it's a Tuesday when it's a Wednesday and I wound up trying to go to Geometry." he said, glancing at Olette, who nodded, knowing that was a very 'Roxas-y' thing to do. "Then Seifer tripped me on my way to Astronomy." he finished. "I _almost_ made it."

Olette sighed and held open the door for her friend, glaring at him.

"What have I told you about 'almost'?" Olette demanded.

"Horseshoes and hand grenades." Roxas mumbled, defeated. Olette nodded and pointed to the empty seat next to Pence. Roxas obeyed her silent command and went to sit beside his other friend, who had his head of black hair down on the desk.

"Tired?" he asked briskly. Pence didn't respond until Roxas poked him in the side. Jumping slightly, he stared at Roxas, then glared.

"Don't do that!" he cried. "I'm twitchy! You should know better than to poke a twitchy person!"

"You guys did your homework, didn't you?" Olette demanded of the two boys. Pence held up a blue folder marked "World History". Roxas blushed and shrugged, warranting another dirty look from Olette. Roxas had at first been thrilled that he had almost every single class with at least one of his friends, but that thrill faded when he realized that every single class with Olette meant having to do his homework every day or suffering one of her lectures. From World History (which today featured an especially boring discussion about the architect who designed Sunset Terrace), Roxas and Olette made their way to Alchemy. There was more boring discussions, more assignments and more dozing off as the day wore on. When the bell finally rang for lunch, Roxas sprang up out of his seat, not even waiting for Olette. He practically skipped down the hall to the cafeteria, happy to be out of class, even happier to be going to lunch. He took his spot in line behind a student who, surprisingly, he didn't know. Roxas bounced on his heels and waited as the line moved slowly. He could almost see her now...

"Roxas...would it kill you to wait for us?" demanded Hayner from behind him. Roxas waved him off, standing on his tiptoes, trying to seem nonchalant. Hayner grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down. "Dude! _Over here._" he snapped in Roxas's ear. Finally, Roxas turned, looking Hayner in the face, a pleading look on his own.

"Come on, Hayner! Not today!" he begged. Hayner rolled his eyes and let go of Roxas who quickly stepped forward to reclaim his spot behind the unknown student.

"Hello, Roxas." smiled a girl with platinum hair and a dainty white dress. She stood behind the counter, next to the cash register, waiting to take his 6 munny for the slice of pizza and soda he'd grabbed.

"Hey Namine." he said sheepishly, pulling the coins from his pocket. A few of them dropped onto the metal counter in his haste, and he and Namine both began scrambling to pick them up. Roxas grabbed for one of the coins at the same time as Namine, and her hand gently closed over his for the briefest of moments, but it was enough to make them both flush deeply.

"Sorry." she smiled. Roxas only giggled nervously, forgetting to breathe. She placed the 6 munny in the register and handed Roxas a receipt. He was stealing one last glance at her when he felt someone shove him hard from behind.

"Outta my way, punk." grunted Seifer, pushing Roxas out from in front of the counter, nearly knocking the pizza off his plate. Roxas wanted to turn around and punch Seifer square in the face, but then remembered how Rai loved nothing more than throwing his considerable weight around as Seifer's unofficial bodyguard, and reconsidered. Sighing defeatedly, he took a seat next to Olette at the table with Pence and Hayner.

"What an asshole." Hayner scowled, his famous temper flaring. Roxas shrugged.

"Just forget about it." he mumbled. Pence ground his teeth angrily.

"We're not just gonna 'forget about it', Roxas!" he cried, drawing the attention of a few students from nearby tables. "He's a jerk!"

"Yeah but it's really okay. Just chill out, Pence." Roxas pleaded with him. Hayner stood, glowering at Seifer where he sat with Rai, Fuu and Vivi. Roxas stared in horror as his bullheaded friend crossed the cafeteria and tapped Seifer hard on the shoulder. He couldn't hear them from this distance, but Hayner must have said something very wrong, because Seifer stood from his seat and grabbed the smaller boy by the collar of his shirt, bringing his fist back menacingly. Olette gasped as Roxas sprang from his seat and ran for the two.

"Seifer, don't!" he called. The blond was distracted for only a second, but it was enough for Hayner to land a decent punch on the side of his face. Seifer cried out, more from anger than pain, a hand flying to his face. But instead of attacking Hayner, who'd fallen on his ass when Seifer dropped him, the bully turned and headed right for Roxas.

"You twerp!" he bellowed, grabbing Roxas by his spiked hair. Roxas winced and grabbed at Seifer's hands as he felt strands of light brown being torn from his scalp. "You did that on purpose!" bringing his fist back once more, he sent it sailing right into Roxas's stomach. The boy doubled over as Seifer released him from his grasp. Roxas felt as if he'd throw up, and was still gasping for air when Seifer kicked him in the back of his knees, causing him to collapse on the filthy tile in a heap. Roxas looked up just in time to see Hayner jump on Seifer's back and pull his hair, Fuu and Rai rising from their seats to join in the mayhem. By this time, the entire cafeteria was on it's feet, watching the one-sided battle as Rai used Hayner like a punching bag while Fuu held him, Vivi cowering under the table. Enraged, Roxas stood up and launched himself at Seifer, sending both of them sailing a good couple of feet, landing on a table and reducing the pressed wood to splinters right as the principle walked in. Two members of the school's security team pulled Roxas off of Seifer, who sat in the rubble, holding the side of his face, blood streaming in a slow trickle from his nose.

"Roxas!" cried the principle. The boy looked at his educational overlord and shook his head desperately.

"He started it!" he stammered, motioning with his head at Seifer, knowing full well that it was actually Hayner's fault. The man held up a hand to silence him.

"I don't want to hear it! I'm calling your parents!" he said furiously. "All of you!" Roxas swallowed dryly. His parents had absolutely no patience for him after he nearly got expelled for cheating on a test a few years earlier. _"One more time..." _his father had warned, not finishing his threat. Roxas wondered, terrified, what would happen after that 'one more time'.

"But... I didn't do anything!" he squirmed in the security guards' grip. The principle ignored him and began walking away, Seifer, Rai, Fuu, Hayner, Roxas and for whatever reason, Vivi were ordered to follow. They each were seated as far from each other as possible in the reception area of the main office. Roxas kept shooting Seifer dirty looks, but was pleased to see that the right side of his face was swelling up quite nicely. Roxas's stomach twisted itself into knots while he waited to be called into the principle's office. Rai, Fuu and Vivi had been called in first, then released back to class. Seifer had been called in next, and was in the office for about 30 minutes. He came out looking pale, but couldn't resist shooting Roxas a snide glare. Roxas held his breath and walked slowly to the principle's office, feeling like a condemned man walking to the gas chamber.

"Sit down, Roxas." his principle said without even glancing up from his desk. He sounded exasperated already, like the last thing he wanted to do today was talk to another riled up adolescent. Roxas obeyed, sitting in front of his principle's desk.

"Roxas..." he began. "I've called your parents. They're both exceptionally angry with you and I don't blame them." he said.

"What do you mean?!" cried Roxas. "I didn't do anything wrong!" His principle held up a hand angrily.

"Roxas!" he commanded. "Let me finish! As punishment for causing this fight, and of course taking into consideration all your _other_ incidents, I've decided to expel you from Twilight Town High. I'm sorry." He turned back to his computer screen, dismissing the boy without words. Roxas's jaw fell slack. _"Expelled?!"_ his mind screeched, but his mouth said nothing. Standing slowly, as if in a daze, Roxas walked out of the office to find his parents in the reception area. They wore twin scowls and Sora was standing behind them with the unmistakable "Busted!" look on his face. The distance from his house to the school was only a few blocks, but Roxas couldn't help feeling like it was the longest car ride of his life.

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Hooray for short chapters!

Naw, seriously, they're easier to work with.

I actually feel like this isn't one of my better works so far, but I like what I have planned.

And yes, I actually have a plan for this one!

Anyway...

rvws, yush?


	2. Cruel and unusual

Wassup, foo?!

Kay.

So all my inspiration and drive just went like... super poof.

But issok.

I has beef jerky and Monster.

I'll pull through.

Onward we go!

Disclaimer: I no has rights to teh Kingdom Hearts. I ish teh sad.

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"**Cruel and unusual"**

Roxas sat at the kitchen table, awkwardly poking at the dinner his mother had prepared. Broccoli and cheese was his favorite, but his father had said "We'll talk after dinner", so of course, he had no appetite. Sora happily munched away, glad that it wasn't _his_ neck on the line for once. When dinner was finished, Sora bounced up the stairs to his room leaving Roxas alone at the kitchen table. The light above the table cast an ominous orange light, making Roxas think of a police interrogation room from the old movies. Finally, his father came in and sat down at the table, staring at Roxas hard.

"This isn't the first time something like this has happened." he said. Roxas kept his gaze averted, but nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry, dad." he whispered.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it this time. You were expelled, Rox. As in 'you're not allowed to come back'." lectured his father. Roxas knew this. He was already missing Hayner, Pence and Olette. Finding out that Seifer had been expelled too did little to comfort him, as he wouldn't be able to enjoy the Seifer-free Twilight Town High. Not ever again.

"So... I'm gonna have to go to Setzer High." he said, trying to soothe his father's rage by reminding him that they still had options. The high school named for the Struggle champion wasn't far at all from Twilight Town High. In fact, Roxas could probably jog the short distance and hang out with his friends at TTH during lunch, then head back over to the slightly smaller school just in time for class. The idea made him smile a bit.

"You're not going to Setzer High." his father said firmly. A chill ran through Roxas and he shifted in his seat.

"Okay then...uh... there's that really small high school in Sunset Terrace. I mean... I totally understand if you want me to go there because there's not a lot of students and not a lot of chances for me to get into trouble and of course, there's always the option of homeschooling, which I've heard is actually really beneficial and..." Roxas began his habitual nervous babbling when his father's glare shut him up.

"You're not going to the school in Sunset Terrace." he said. "And you're not going to be home-schooled."

Roxas stared around the room nervously, then at his father.

"Then uh...then what?" he asked, his mouth and throat dry as a bone. His father heaved a sigh.

"There's a school..." he began "A rather exclusive private school. It usually costs an arm and a leg to send a kid there, but I've talked to the Dean and because of your exceptional talents in visual arts, he's willing to admit you on a full ride scholarship, providing you keep your grades up." he said. Roxas's eyes widened.

"A private school?" he choked.

" 'Twilight Town's Academy For Bright Young Minds'." his father nodded. "Their students excel in everything. Reading, writing, art, alchemy... truly brilliant people. It wouldn't hurt to start making friends with more than two brain cells to rub together." his father mumbled, remembering what it was like having Hayner in his home. Roxas only glared. "Now..." his father said, leaning forward on the table. "They know that you've been a bit... problematic in regular school and the Dean has assured me that any attitudinal wrinkles will be smoothed out and your behavior improved tenfold." he smiled.

"You're saying I have an attitude problem?" Roxas demanded.

"I'm saying you were suspended for fighting with another student and you're lucky such a prestigious school would even consider you at this point." his father snapped back. Roxas was stung by his words and hung his head, but he knew his father was right.

"Why can't I just go to Setzer High?" he asked, knowing that it wasn't going to do any good.

"Three reasons." his father announced. "One, you were kicked out of their sister school for violent acts against another student. You'll never be allowed to attend a school in this district ever again, so don't count on it. Two, Setzer high is too close to those rowdy friends of yours and your mother and I think it's time you start mingling with a better crowd. And three, this school is top-notch. You'll get the best education, the best treatment, and you'll graduate with the qualifications to do whatever you want." his voice carried a tone of finality Roxas knew couldn't be argued. The comment about his 'rowdy' friends made Roxas's blood boil, but he held his tongue, knowing he was in deep enough as it was.

"So... when do I start?" he asked quietly.

"Three days from now." said his father. "I suggest you start packing tonight."

"Packing?" Roxas's eyes grew large. "Why would I need to pack?"

"The school's...kinda far away." his father cleared his throat. Roxas only stared back with huge blue orbs.

"How far?" he demanded. His father looked uncomfortable.

"Well... too far for one train ride. You need catch like... two or three connecting trains, but..." he tried to play it off as nothing.

"Where _is_ this place?" Roxas demanded. His father sighed.

"The outermost limits of Twilight Town." he said, stunning Roxas. "You'll have to live on campus."

Roxas stared at his father in complete awe. They were shipping him off to the middle of nowhere! Too far for the train? He'd never see his friends again! No more shopping trips with Olette, or sea-salt ice cream on the clock tower. No more birthday parties or summer vacations spent in the shade of the usual spot. No more anything! Just a cold, dark room in some uppity private school where he didn't know anyone and no one knew him. He'd be alone in a strange place with nothing but memories of friends to keep him company. Without a word to his father, he stood and walked to his room. He flopped down on his bed, not even bothering to change into pajamas. Disgusted with himself, his parents, and the knowledge that in three days, he'd have to say goodbye to his friends, his family, and his warm, soft bed, he forced himself into an agitated sleep.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Just as he expected, Roxas was put on heavy duty grounding until he set off for the Academy. But when Sora had left for school and his mother and father left for work, Roxas crept stealthily out the back door and over the wall. Lola, their elderly neighbor across the street, was charged with watching the house to be sure no one left or entered the property. Roxas knew she'd probably be taking her nap for the day, but he wasn't going to risk leaving from the front. Silent and quick as a shadow, Roxas made his way down the back alley, pushing the purple tarp aside, slipping into the usual spot. Olette, Hayner and Pence were already there, discussing the unfairness of Roxas's sentence. They'd called him before his phone was confiscated and told him that they'd all be skipping school today to spend time with him. To everyone's surprise, even Olette.

"Hey, Roxy..." Pence tried to be cheerful. Roxas gave him a defeated look. He'd only briefly explained the private school situation, and when he told them how far away he'd have to go, Hayner came unglued.

"How can they _do_ that to you?!" he demanded. "That can't be legal! It just can't! It's cruel and unusual punishment and I _won't_ stand for it!" his fit raged. Roxas shrugged.

"I'm a kid. They can do with me what they want." he mumbled.

"What jerks!" Olette proclaimed, upset as well. Pence nodded.

"We should flatten their tires or something so they can't drive him to the station." he thought out loud.

"Then they'll make me walk." Roxas put in, and Pence hung his head. "There's just no way around this, guys." he said, having accepted his fate sometime around 4 o' clock that morning.

"But you can still try making the best of it." Olette smiled, trying to bring some cheer to the situation. Roxas felt a warmth spreading in his chest at her words. He knew he had good, solid friends and something as petty as distance wouldn't ruin that. He wouldn't be a kid forever, and neither would they. Someday, he'd be _in_ control, not _under_ it.

"Make the best of it?!He's going to a private school! I've heard stories from those places. It's like rich brat prison! And you think Seifer was bad? Not only are most of the kids at those places assholes, but they're _rich_ assholes!" Hayner ranted. Roxas's heart sank a bit. Leave it to Hayner to screw up a good vibe.

"It's not like he's going to be gone forever." Pence put in, as if reading Roxas's mind. He was always so good at that. "He's only got two more years of school. And they let kids come home for holidays and stuff. By Christmas, his parents should be pretty cooled off, so we can come over and spend time with him."

Hayner considered this and shook his head.

"It's not gonna be like the old days." he protested, never wanting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. There was a moment of reverent silence for the days of old when the four friends would take turns spending the holidays with each other's families. Olette's parents always provided a feast fit for a king, and Pence's family traveled to Hollow Bastion, his friends in tow, to visit distant relatives. No matter how many times they all went, they never seemed to explore all of it, which always left room for more thrill the next year. Hayner's parents would take the unconventional route, ordering pizza instead of roasting turkey, and taking the friends bowling instead of sitting around a fire reading old Christmas stories. Even Roxas's parents made the holidays special. When the friends would pile into their house, they'd keep a fire roaring on the hearth, and plenty of eggnog in the fridge. It pained Roxas to think about spending those special times cooped up in a house with only his angry parents and Sora. But maybe Pence was right... maybe they _would_ be cooled off enough by then to allow for the sacred tradition of holiday family-swapping.

"It might not be like the old days." Olette agreed. "But Pence is right. It's not forever." she nodded. Pence seemed to glow the way he always did when he was indisputably right. With Olette's words, the conversation was over, and instead of dwelling, the friends filled their afternoon with as much laughter as they could squeeze out of such a dismal situation. The shadows on the wall began to slant more and more and Roxas sighed. It was getting to be about 3:00, and Sora would be coming home soon. The kid meant well, but he couldn't keep his mouth shut for beans. And his parents knew that.

"I gotta head home." he said sadly, his words smearing gloomy looks across his friends' faces.

"We're gonna be there, though!" Pence chirped. "At the station when you leave."

"My parents will-" Roxas began.

"Will what? What're they gonna do? They're sticking you on a train bound for nowhere! About the only thing they _could_ do at that point is ship you off to bootcamp instead." Hayner insisted. Roxas's eyes widened.

"That's not funny." he said, his voice full of legitimate fear. "After this little bender, I'm not sure _what_ they're capable of anymore." He felt a small, delicate hand on his shoulder.

"We're gonna be there, Roxas." said Olette. "We have to be." Roxas wasn't sure why, but Olette always had the ability to end any dispute with a few simple sentences. He grinned, hugging all his friends. With a solemn wave, he retraced his steps through the alley back home. He scraped his knee on the cinderblock coming back over the wall, but other than that, he was safe. Sora had missed the bus that day and was forced to walk home. He stormed through the front door irritably with sweat on his brow right as Roxas finished putting a bandage on his small battle wound. Sora was too butt hurt about having to walk the three blocks to notice that Roxas was just as flushed in the face as he was. When Roxas's parents came home later that evening, he didn't speak to either of them. He ate in silence, washed dishes in silence, and went upstairs without a word.

His silent treatment continued for the next two days. By the evening before he was set to leave, his mother was almost on her knees begging him to say something to her. Roxas felt bad, but he felt even worse about having to leave his entire life behind over something that wasn't even his fault in the first place. Finally, his mother gave up pleading and left his room. As Roxas sloppily folded a shirt and stuffed it violently into his suitcase, he decided his parents would be lucky if they got a single word out of him for the next year, maybe even two. Maybe he wouldn't speak to them the entire time he was away. The scorned, indignant part of him cried _"Damn right! Don't you speak to them for as long as you have to endure the hell they've thrown you into!"_ but the more reasonable side of him whispered _"You'll be sending them letters within a month." _

Roxas opted to ignore the conflicting thoughts, and crawled into his bed for what would be the last time for two years. He looked around his room, admiring the way the lights outside cast long, delicate shadows along his ceiling and walls. He never realized it before, but when it turned just right, the crystal windchime above his window would throw thousands of tiny rainbows across his wood floor and stark white sheets. He thought of all the times he heard the corny, over-used lines like "you never know what you've got till it's gone". He'd never put much stock in them, but as he lay there, looking at his room and his life in a whole new light, he felt a pang of guilt strike him in the gut. Groaning in frustration, he rolled over, turning his back on the shower of rainbows, the beautiful shadows, the pictures of friends, and all the other little things he never appreciated before. As he lay there, listening to the gentle hum of the heater, he wasn't sure who he was more angry at: his parents or himself. He was asleep before he could reach a verdict.

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Okay, I'm definitely diggin' the short chapters.

Dunno why, but it makes it easier for me to think.

Alrighty, then!

I'm still without internet, so it will take me a while to reply to your reviews but they would _TOTALLY_ make my life.

So whaddya say?  
Click the little blue button and leave a review for Rulisu?

Please and thank you!


	3. To everything I knew, farewell

Rawrgrrblah.

Let's get right on into this, shall we?

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not yours, either. Aren't we a sad bunch?

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"**To everything I knew, farewell"**

It was still dark outside when Roxas's parents sent Sora into his room to wake him up. As Roxas lay there on a pile of crumpled sheets with his eyes closed, he could feel every muscle in his body protesting any movement that would bring him closer to that damn school. Finally, he forced himself to sit up and wipe the sleep from his eyes. He glanced out the window beside his bed. In the distance were the train tracks and the tops of houses and other buildings. Smoke was billowing from them in the palest of light. Fighting tears, he hopped out of bed and began to dress.

His mother had told him to dress nicely for his first day, as he'd be meeting the Dean and his classmates, even though it was a Saturday. Just to set his mother off, Roxas grabbed a pair of jeans with the knees torn out, bleach stains, paint stains, and frayed thread for hems. He topped it off with the baggy black shirt he'd borrowed from Pence when they'd gone to the beach. The shirt was already old when Pence had given it to him, but the salt and sun had faded it even more, and there was a giant hole ripped out on the armpit. Roxas didn't bother to brush his hair or teeth, either. Looking sufficiently like a bum, he nodded triumphantly to his reflection and headed down the stairs.

Just as he'd planned, Roxas didn't speak to either of his parents. He didn't want to say anything to Sora, either. But he realized halfway to the station that he really had to reason to be mad at his brother, so when Sora was having problems navigating Roxas's MP3 player, the younger brother was glad to help. They parked the car at the station, pulling Roxas's bags from the trunk. Roxas slung a bag over his shoulder and began walking to the station's front doors, trying to push memories of being here with his friends from his mind. He looked behind him at Sora and his parents, the parked car, and beyond at the vast expanse of his home. It was shrouded in gray, rain clouds hanging over it protectively, loosing tiny droplets of rain that fell on Roxas like butterfly tears.

He sighed deeply and shook his head, making his way into the station. His tickets had been pre-purchased, so he bypassed the counter and walked straight for his platform. There he stood, surrounded by his baggage, his parents and Sora gone. He waited and waited and waited for the clock to read "8:15". Roxas was sure his parents had woken him up at 5:00 o' clock just to make him miserable. His legs began to tire and he took to sitting on one of his overstuffed bags, holding his face in his hands. His mind drifted into thoughtless black when a soft voice from behind him tugged him out of his depressed trance.

"Roxas! Hey, Roxas!" it was Olette. Still a bit woozy with sleep, Roxas rose to his feet. When he saw Hayner and Pence jogging up behind her, he smiled wide.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked excitedly.

"We told you were were gonna be here, remember?" Hayner said, playfully punching Roxas's arm.

"Yeah but... how did you know which train would be mine?" Roxas inquired.

"Well, I came down here after school and checked the schedule for all trains leaving in the next three days to the middle of nowhere that caught connecting trains. This was the only one." Pence told him.

"Clever." Roxas nodded. For the next hour and thirty minutes, Hayner, Pence, Olette and Roxas sat among the baggage, talking excitedly while Roxas's fellow passengers began showing up. The friends stood solemnly as the train pulled into the station, stopping at the platform. Roxas swallowed hard, looking at it. Then he turned to his friends.

"I'm gonna miss you." he muttered, barely audible over the roar of other trains, the chatter of patrons, and steam as it escaped it's confines of the engines in a shrill, piercing whistle.

"Oh, stop talking like you're never gonna see us again!" Olette grabbed Roxas's middle, squeezing him. He wrapped his arms around her and murmured into her hair.

"Sorry, Olette." he said. She let go of him and looked at him sternly.

"You're gonna see us again. Soon!" she insisted. He nodded, looking to Hayner and Pence. Putting their pride on the back burner, the both reached out to wrap Roxas in a hug. Though he'd never admit it, Hayner was crying a bit. The train filled quickly, Roxas now aboard. He looked through the window at his friends, still standing on the platform. Olette and Pence were waving wildly and Hayner flashed him a thumbs-up. He felt the train jerk forward and begin to pull away. He saw Hayner and Pence take off after it, but it gained more and more speed until they were just dots on the platform in the distance. Now that the train was out of the station and the warmth of his friends' embraces had worn off, Roxas suddenly felt so cold and alone. It was going to be a long ride.

The scenery changed from houses and buildings and people on sidewalks to woods and the occasional house in the distance, right smack in the middle of a field. Roxas remembered coming to this part of Twilight Town when he was younger. His parents would pack up the car and drive for hours with him and Sora in the back seat, entertaining themselves with card games and 'I spy'. And finally, when that long drive was over, he and his brother would tumble out of the car and into the freshly fallen snow, their mother chasing after them trying to slip coats onto their flailing arms. Roxas grinned at the memory while he kept his forehead pressed to the glass window. There were smaller stops along the way, but Roxas was told he was to get off at the Twilight Station, roughly a three hour train ride from Sunset Station. He had just begun to doze off when he heard the conductor call out.

"Twilight Station!" he cried in a booming voice that would have been enough to scare anyone out of a dead sleep. He stood slowly, the muscles in his legs crying out in protest. He stretched back just enough to crack his tired, sore back, then grabbed his things. The fabric of the strap was rough in his hand that was almost numb from sleep, but he held it tight as he stepped out of the train. The platform was wooden, unlike the stone of Sunset Station, and it made a dull, hollow sound under his feet as he walked. He certainly didn't expect a train station that was this far out in the middle of nowhere, and he certainly didn't expect this many trains to be lined up along the platforms. He plunged a hand into his pocket and began rummaging around in the spare bits of paper and lint for his ticket.

Finally, his fingers wrapped around a piece of paper that was slightly less beaten up than everything else in his pocket. He tore it out exhaled in relief. It was his ticket. He looked over all the fine and large print, searching for the number. 'Platform 16', it read. Roxas shrugged, readjusting the straps of his bag and looked up at the number of the platform above him. 'Platform 42'. And he only had four minutes to catch the connecting train. His heart sinking, Roxas grabbed his bags and began an awkward, weighted jog down the rows of platforms.

"Wait!" he called to a man closing the door on his train. "Please wait!" The man looked up at him angrily at first, as if he was going to lecture Roxas about the importance of being on time for your train. Then he caught sight of all the bags around his shoulders, and the one he was carrying.

"You got it?" he asked sympathetically as Roxas began pulling straps off his shoulder, handing the bags to a station assistant, who loaded them into the train.

"Yeah...yeah I'm good." he muttered once the mass of bags was reduced to one backpack of carry-on items. Roxas climbed aboard the train and found a suitable spot for the rest of the ride. It was here, against his backpack, did he get the last bits of sleep for a while.

Roxas was woken by someone gently shaking his shoulder. He cracked open a tired eye, wincing against the blinding light of the cab. There was someone standing over him. Roxas recognized him as the station attendant who'd held the door open for him.

"Sir?" the man said softly, still holding onto Roxas's shoulder. "Sir, we're about to arrive at your stop."

"How'd ya know where my stop is?" Roxas half-whispered sleepily.

"I saw the emblem on the brochure that was sticking out of one of your bags. It's the Academy's emblem, so I figured you'd be getting dropped off there." the attendant said, almost as if he was embarrassed to have been paying that much attention at all.

"They have their own train station?" Roxas asked, waking up a bit more.

"They have their own everything." the attendant muttered. "And we're almost there." he left Roxas and went into another cab. Roxas swallowed dryly and slung his backpack over his shoulder, feeling the soreness that must have settled in when he was asleep. He glanced out the window, swaying slightly with the movement of the train beneath his feet. As he watched the green of the trees blur past, they began to thin until they disappeared completely, yielding to a train station nestled in the deepest part of the forest. The train slowed and the attendant came back, ushering him off board quickly.

"This is a special stop the conductor doesn't like to make..." he explained. "He doesn't like to stop for too long, so we must be quick." Roxas nodded and followed the man to the cargo cab and watched as he unloaded his bags of belongings. Roxas stared at them and fought the urge to cry. In a matter of hours, his life had gone from being full, with friends and school and love, to being nothing more than clothes and memories shoved into a bag. The attendant gave him a friendly smile and a nod, then climbed aboard the train as it continued it's course to the absolute ends of Twilight Town, and then to beyond.

Roxas stood there for a moment, gawking at the pitiful waste his life had become, then he shook himself out of the daze and began to take in the world around him. It was much cooler here than in the heart of Twilight Town, and there was a thick blanket of gray clouds in the sky, though none carried the threat of rain. They looked eerie, as if they'd been put there as just enough to block out the sun. His gaze shifted to the trees, ominous and thick as they were. He was almost afraid to look any closer at them, lest there be a pair of glowing red eyes staring back.

Rubbing his bare arms to ward off the chill of the forest and the lack of sun, Roxas glanced at the ground beneath his feet. It was dark gray cobblestone, and as hard and cruel looking as Roxas imagined the school it's self would be. They looked ancient, the stones. As if they'd been there since the dawn of time. Yet he noticed that the station was much newer than that. His eyes flitted over the wrought iron benches and iron gates until they rested on a man with silver hair in a black, red-lined suit.

"Oh.." Roxas gasped to himself. "Uh...hi. Hello? I'm...I'm Roxas." he called to the man, who smiled warmly and walked forward.

"Hello, Roxas." He said in an exquisite voice. "I've been expecting you."

Roxas swallowed hard and fought to keep his eyes from widening. _"He's gonna kill me! My parents didn't send me to a school! They sent me to an assassin! The school isn't real and this station is a fake too! This guy's gonna kill me and dump my body in the woods!"_ his frantic subconscious screamed. Roxas frowned and shook his head, putting his panic-prone inner voice back in it's place.

"Uh...so you must be the Dean." he reasoned. The man shook his head, extending a hand, which Roxas took. His grip was firm and sure, and Roxas suddenly felt so self-conscious of the ratty clothes he wore. "I usually dress better, I was just rushed." he lied.

"I hadn't even noticed." the Dean said honestly. "My name is Ansem, Roxas. And yes, you may call me that. I prefer to be on a first-name basis with all my students." he smiled, pointing with a long, pale finger at the gate behind him. "Would you like to see your new home?" he asked. _"This place will never be my home."_ Roxas thought darkly. All the same, he smiled and nodded, following the man as he walked through the massive iron gates to the small black car waiting for them at the front of the station. Ansem slipped into the front seat while Roxas pulled open the trunk, setting his bags inside it. He was slightly embarrassed at the way the car seemed to sink lower with each bag, but he shook it off. _"_You_ try fitting your world inside a bag, then we'll talk."_ he thought.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Super short chapter, I'm sorry.

But breaking the story up at certain parts helps me focus on the bigger picture.

I have like... writer's ADHD or something.  
It's irritating.

Anyway, I received a lot of "break up your paragraphs" comments and I know it's annoying and I apologize. I just get so into it, I forget to hit the 'enter' key. And ya gotta understand... up until about a year ago, I never used paragraphs at all. Scary, isn't it?

So anyway, reviews would be mucho appreciated!


	4. Asylum

'Kay, so I've had random songs from "Sweeny Todd" stuck in my head all night and I haven't even seen the movie in months.  
Something is _seriously_ wrong with that picture!

Anyway, if this chapter epically fails, I'm sorry.  
It's just that Johnny Depp is distracting on more than six levels and all the way to Sunday.

Man, I'm a freak.

Movin' right along...

I guess I should say this now, but I've only ever played about 20 minutes of Chain of Memories, so I'm kinda guessing at a lot of the Organization members' personality. So forgive the occasional OOC. Oh, and helpful hints would be appreciated, too!

_NICE _helpful hints. Let's not be snippy, kay?

And I know that I shouldn't even be writing about them If I don't know how they act, but Organization XIII is hot sex, so...nya! XP

Disclaimer: There's only so many times I can say "I wish to god I owned Kingdom Hearts, but I don't" and make it witty/funny. So I'm just gonna say 'choad'. 'Cause 'choad' is a funny word. God, I need meds...

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"**Asylum"**

Roxas sat in the back of the car and watched as the trees passed him in a green smudge across his vision. Progress was slow, as if the driver was terrified to even look at the gas pedal with the Dean in the car. Roxas groaned and thumped his forehead on the glass, hoping neither of the other passengers heard him. Slowly, the trees began to thin again and the school rose out of the gray. Roxas drew a sharp breath when he saw it. It wasn't a school, it was a fortress. Roxas had only seen something like this in that Harry Potter movie Sora liked so much.

It wasn't as castle-like, but it definitely looked battle-ready. There was a large, unclimbable stone wall with a metal door which swung open on it's massive hinges when the driver input the code. Now Roxas got a better view of it, and remained stunned. The whole thing was built out of the same gray cobblestone of the station, had the same wrought iron along the windows and a huge iron emblem on the giant front door.

"That's the main building." Ansem said, as if sensing Roxas's awe. "It's where most of the classes are held, though some take place in random spots on the campus and in the subterranean levels. The dorms are in the back part." he said as they turned onto a gravel road, driving around the substantial main building. The campus it's self was a maze of lush green grass and stone footpaths. Finally, the driver parked the black sedan in front of a building that was only slightly smaller than the main one.

"And this is your stop, Roxas." said the Dean cheerfully. Roxas stared at the rearview mirror in horror. "Oh it's not that bad." Ansem chuckled, catching his glance. "Some of the students are really quite nice." Roxas's heart sank as he opened the door and stepped out onto the gravel with a crunch. The driver helped Roxas pull his belongings from the trunk, then drove off with Ansem toward the main building. He stood with his bags all around him like a sea of black and green, staring up at the formidable stone dormitory.

"_Some of the students are really quite nice."_ the Dean had said. _Some _of them. Sighing heavily, Roxas began slinging bags over his shoulder and trudging up the small set of stone steps to the double doors. He was about to place a shaky hand on the handle when the door burst open and sent Roxas tumbling back. For the first time that day, he was thankful for the massive amounts of luggage he'd been hauling around, as the overstuffed bags broke most of the painful fall down the 5 cobblestone stairs.

"Watch it!" he heard someone call as they jogged down the steps and out into the courtyard. Roxas lay among his things, some of the bags having spilled open, blinking up at the rainless, gray sky.

"So... are you just gonna lay there or what?" demanded a voice. There was a hint of entertainment in the tone, but it didn't sound friendly. Roxas arched his neck to see beyond his feet. Standing in front of the open door was a boy, about his age. He was dressed in tight black pants and an equally tight shirt with the words "Fall Out Boy" splashed across the front in neon green. His hair was a light blue and hung over one of his eyes and he had his arms crossed. Roxas remembered kids like him from back home. "Emo", Hayner had called them.

"I... fell." Roxas muttered stupidly.

"Well that's a relief. I thought for a minute there that you were one of those people who threw themselves down stairs for fun." there was more poison in the boy's voice than intended, Roxas hoped.

"I can't get up." he grunted, trying to move one of his huge bags that were pinning his legs. "Can you help me?" he asked, already anticipating the answer.

"I'm not wearing shoes." the boy said calmly, holding up a bare foot for Roxas to see. Roxas sighed and let his head fall back against the gravel.

"You know, I take back my comment from earlier, Zex." came the sudden appearance of a female voice. It sounded just as harsh as the boy's. "My mother _isn't _the biggest bitch in existence." it said. "You are."

"Aw, Larxene. You're just so kind and puppy-like, it's a wonder more people don't just want to curl up next to you and cuddle for hours." the boy said sarcastically.

"Bite me." responded the girl. "It's fun." Roxas could heard footsteps on stone turning to the crunching of gravel. He found himself looking right up into the face of a pretty girl with gently sloping eyes covered in eyeliner and shoulder-length blond hair, strips of it hanging in her face. She wore a black dress that clung daintily to her curves and black boots that came up to her knees. She had fishnet gloves on her hands, and a huge black gothic cross on a black satin ribbon around her neck. She reminded him of the kids at school that he did everything in his power to avoid.

"What have we here?" she inquired thoughtfully.

"I'm Roxas." he smiled, extending a hand. The girl roared with laughter.

"Oh that's rich." she sighed, shaking her head. "I'm Larxene. And pretty-boy up there is Zexion. And because you're the only person able to make me laugh today, I'm gonna help you." she said, as if her time were more important than anyone else's. Roxas wasn't in the position to turn down help. With deceptive ease, Larxene removed the bag that had Roxas pinned. She even helped him shove his things back into the bags.

"Aw..." she said with genuine angst. "The zipper on this one's busted." Roxas looked to her hands, gently wrapped around the strap of a large bag with a broken zipper. His heart sank. He seriously doubted she'd help him haul his stuff into the dorm.

"It's okay." he muttered. "I'll just have to hold it shut."

Larxene shrugged and kept stuffing clothes into the bag. Roxas blushed a bit when she came across a pair of his boxers, though it didn't seem to phase her in the least. Something else, however, caught her attention.

"And what is this?" she mused, holding up one of the pictures Roxas had pulled from his cork board and put in his bag that morning.

"Uh...that's..." he muttered, reaching for it, but Larxene pulled away.

"Who's the chick?" she asked, shoving the picture in Roxas's face. It was the picture Sora had taken of one of Roxas's many afternoons of having his friends over. Roxas was unaware the picture was being taken, and had a chip hanging halfway out of his mouth while he stared mindlessly at the television. Olette was sitting daintily on the arm of the couch, her legs folded neatly, a smile on her face as she glanced up at Sora. Pence was on the floor, looking through DVDs, trying to select a movie for them to watch, and Hayner stood in the background of it all, sticking his tongue out at the camera, a soda in his hand. Roxas smiled a bit.

"That's Olette." he said. "She's a friend of mine back home."

"Where are you from, anyway?" Larxene asked, looking closer at the picture.

"Uh... central Twilight Town. Near the Sunset Station and Sunset Terrace." he answered. Larxene frowned.

"You're far from home, buddy." she said, handing back the picture.

"Yeah..." Roxas said sadly, taking it back and putting it in the back pocket of his jeans. "Don't remind me."

"Ah, it's not that bad here, ya get used to it." Zexion said from the steps. Roxas had almost entirely forgotten about him.

"He's lying." Larxene chuckled. "And that Olette chick is hot." with that, she turned to Zexion. "Come on, pretty boy." she said, as if to a dog.

"_No shoes!_" Zexion cried, pointing to his feet.

"Well go_ get_ shoes." she mocked. Zexion disappeared into the building for a moment, during which Larxene didn't even look at Roxas. He came out of the door again, this time wearing black shoes that looked about three or four sizes too big. A scowl on his face, he took his place beside Larxene and they both began a slow, but precise walk into the courtyard. Roxas watched the odd pair for a moment, then shook his head and began his second attempt up the stairs, this time made more difficult by the broken zipper.

He stepped into a dark room, lit only by a desk light in the far corner where a boy was sitting, his head of long platinum hair bent over a piece of paper. He was scribbling rapidly on it, muttering to himself. Roxas crept in through the doors quietly, but he stepped on a loose floorboard, making it squeak. The boy stopped scribbling and looked up abruptly, his green eyes flickering around the room till they landed on Roxas.

"Oh!" he said. "Well hey there! Never seen you before." he stood from the desk. He was tall, about Roxas's dad's height, and slender all around, especially through the hips. He wore tight black pants like Zexion, though his white t-shirt was loose and covered in what looked like drops of watercolor paint, or the highly flammable substances Roxas was learning about in Alchemy before he got transferred.

"I'm new here." Roxas said, figuring he'd be a tad nicer than Larxene and Zexion.

"Man, do I feel sorry for you." the boy chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh how rude of me. I'm Vexen." he extended a hand, which Roxas reached for. As he was reaching, Vexen grinned and smacked Roxas in the forehead with the flat palm of his hand. "Oh ho! Gotcha!" he cried. Roxas stared at him in shock, rubbing his forehead.

"That hurt." he mumbled.

"Liar, I barely tapped you." Vexen dismissed his claim.

"But still... you hit me." Roxas groaned.

"If that's the worst thing that happens to you during your first week here, you'll be luckiest student yet." Vexen giggled, rocking on his heels. "Anyway, the rooms are upstairs, you can drop your crap off there." he pointed to a stone staircase that looked horribly out of place against the wooden floor.

"Which bed is mine?" Roxas asked.

"Beats me. Just ask someone." Vexen replied, turning on his heel to return to his work. Roxas shot a quick glance at Vexen, then headed upstairs. It was a miserable climb, and he immediately dropped his bags on the first bed he could find. He bent over it, panting heavily, his vision clouding with breathless exhaustion.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." a soft, beautiful voice warned him. Roxas stopped panting and scanned the room and all it's beds. He caught sight of another boy, lounging lazily on his bed, shoes on and all. All he could see of him was his bare chest and blue jeans until he got a tad closer. The boy's book blocked his face, but his hair stuck out above it quite distinctly. It was blue, like Zexion's, though a little darker. And it looked longer, from what Roxas could tell.

"Did you hear me?" the boy demanded, though it sounded strangely polite.

"Uh...yeah, yeah I did." Roxas muttered, taking his bag off the bed and setting it on the floor.

"I didn't mean to seem rude, but that's Luxord's bed and he has an unholy fit if anyone so much as looks at it without his permission. Some weird OCD thing..." the boy waved his hand dismissively. Roxas nodded, slowly accepting the fact that this so-called 'prestigious' school was full of nutjobs.

"Uh... could you please tell me where my bed is, then?" Roxas was to the point of begging. Finally, the boy set his book down, taking a good, hard look at Roxas.

"Oh..." he said. "You must be the new kid."

"Yeah. Lucky me." Roxas muttered.

"Your bed is over there." the boy pointed to a bed and a night table with nothing on it. He slowly walked over to it, his bags in tow. Setting the heaviest one down, he flopped onto the bed and exhaled deeply. It wasn't nearly as soft as his bed back home, and the black sheets certainly didn't add to the cheerless appearance of the school. They smelled funny, too.

"What's your name?" the boy inquired, still staring.

"Roxas." he replied.

"Nice to meet you, Roxas." he said kindly. "I'm Saix, and you're officially a dead man."

"Huh?" Roxas choked.

"Well you said you were new here, right?" Saix asked.

"Well yeah but..." Roxas began.

"Soooo, you're a dead man." Saix cut him off.

"But why?" Roxas practically wailed.

"Because you're new. The only attention anyone's gonna give you for the next few months is the occasional kick to the knees or a snide remark. We're all kinda assholes here." Saix said, as if it were completely casual conversation.

"Why?" Roxas demanded, wanting with all of his might to be back home.

"Why not?" Saix returned his questioning.

"But...you're being nice to me." Roxas pointed out, hoping that maybe there might be a glimmer of hope, and that Saix was reffering to the other students when he said 'we'.

"I'm loaded on medication right now. I can't even move, let alone be myself." Saix scoffed, picking his book back up. Roxas felt his stomach turn to knots.

"W-what's the medication for?" he asked, figuring at this point, he might as well ask. Saix pointed without looking to his night table, which Roxas now realized was covered in prescription pill bottles and empty energy drink cans.

"Whatever you can think of that would require me to take that many meds." he said, not looking up.

"Everything in the book?" Roxas ventured. There was a humorless laugh from Saix.

"Just about..." he muttered. Roxas felt nothing but poisonous hatred for his parents, sticking him in a place like this. How could they? Everyone here was either rude, sarcastic, weird, a pill junkie... and there may be something even worse. He'd only met four people! This place wasn't an academy. It was an asylum. He buried his face in the strange new bed and bit back tears of anger, listening to the silence, broken only by the turning of the pages in Saix's book. _"First chance I get..."_ Roxas thought to himself. _"I'm getting the hell outta here."_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wahoo!

Okay, so maybe I'm the only one that totally envisions Saix being the kid we all know that's loaded on so many meds he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground, but that would explain his unusually calm and butler-esque behavior.

So gimme some love, tell me what ya think!


	5. How to play the game

Hey there, kiddies!

Round five! Are ya ready?!

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts isn't mine, I don't make money off my fanfiction, I'm an unemployed freeloader with an over-active imagination and too much time on my hands. Don't sue me.

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"**How to play the game"**

The already dark sky outside the window faded to a darker hue as the hours passed. Roxas still hadn't gotten up from the bed, but some of Saix's meds must have worn off, and he left. Now Roxas was alone in the circular room lined with four beds, only one of them now occupied. He lay his head back on the flat pillow, staring up at the stone ceiling, wishing one of the stones would fall out of the roof and crush him. He was starting to nod off into a hazy sleep when he felt something hard and plastic pelt him in the side. Twitching a bit, he sat upright and looked over at Vexen, who stood in the doorway, pointing to Roxas.

"That came for you just now." he said. Roxas looked down by his hand to see his cellphone, neatly wrapped in a plastic bag, his mother's handwriting sprawled across it.

"They must feel bad for me..." Roxas muttered, picking it up and pulling the phone from the plastic.

"Yeah, but don't count on getting reception up here." Vexen muttered.

"Where do I get reception?" Roxas asked, worried that any question may lead to a rude remark.

"The courtyard, mostly. Though there's amazing reception on the roof." Vexen said, pointing upward. Roxas frowned.

"How am I supposed to get on the roof?" he asked.

"I figured you'd ask." Vexen smiled slightly and walked into the room, pulling open a door Roxas had figured was a closet of some kind. Roxas peered through the darkness and saw there was a set of rungs sticking out from the wall.

"Some kind of secret ladder?" He inquired.

"Impractical, unusable fire escape." Vexen informed him. "It's been here since the school opened, so I don't even think administration knows these are here."

"How long has the school been open?" Roxas asked, now doubting the integrity of the rungs.

"Hundreds of years, I've been told." Vexen shrugged, running his fingers through his glorious blond hair. "But don't worry, those things are sturdy." he nodded to the silver, standing out against the darkness.

"How do I know you won't just lock me up there on the roof?" Roxas asked, his eyes narrowing. Vexen chuckled, shaking his head.

"I won't." he said. "Don't worry."

"How can I trust you?" Roxas asked.

"You can't." Vexen answered truthfully. "But I'm not going to lock you up there."

Roxas grimaced, but decided to try his luck on the roof. Gripping his phone tightly, he crossed the room to the small closet-like space and began climbing up the rungs slowly. He had climbed about ten of them when he felt himself press up against a slat of wood.

"Just give it a good shove." Vexen's voice echoed up the shaft to him. Roxas complied, pushing on the wood until it gave, swinging open and filling the space with fresh air and light. Roxas crawled out of the square opening and found himself looking out over the entire campus in all it's glory. He turned back to the cut in the stone to put the wood back into place.

"Thank you!" he called to Vexen, but he was gone. Shrugging, Roxas carefully put the wood back over the space and turned to look back out on the grounds. From up here, the courtyard's true magnificence could really be appreciated. Roxas discovered that it was in the shape of the school's emblem, though he wasn't even sure how one would describe such a shape. There were small black dots of students walking across it on the stone footpaths. Roxas resisted the urge to toss one of the broken pieces of mortar at them.

He settled instead, for sitting on the edge of the roof, as he used to do on the clock tower back home. Flipping open his cellphone, he opened his contacts and scrolled down the alphabetical list, selecting Hayner's name. The line rang and rang and rang until it beeped and Hayner's recorded voice could be heard over the small speaker.

"Hey, this is Hayner!" it said. "I'm sleeping, at school, unable to answer my phone or I'm just plain ignoring you. Leave a message and I'll call you back. If you're lucky. And don't call back again and again and again! If I didn't answer the first time, I won't answer the other 99 times you call. Please and thank you, buh-bye." and there was a beep. Roxas shook his head and smiled.

"Aren't you charming?" he said into the phone. "Anyway man, my parents gave me my phone. I think they feel bad for me. And they should! You should see this place, it's a madhouse. I'm gonna try to bust out, though it might be kinda hard since I'm in the middle of nowhere. Uh... I wish I was there, man. I really, really do. I miss you guys so much and I..."

"Your recording time is about to expire. Please finish your message within the next eight seconds." an electronic voice warned him.

"Anyway, call me back." Roxas finished, pressing the 'end' button. He sighed, scrolling through his contacts again until he reached Pence. As before, the phone rang and rang. But this time...

"Hello?" Roxas heard Pence's voice. "Helloooo?" it inquired.

"Pence!" Roxas cried. "Pence, I'm so glad I got ahold of y-..."

"Aha! Thought you got me, didn't you? In your_ face!_" Pence's recorded voice taunted. Roxas groaned and threw a hand over his eyes. "Anyway, I can't get to my phone right now so leave a message after the beep!" there was another electronic beep and Roxas drew a breath.

"Hey Pence, it's Roxas. I have my phone so...you should call me. I don't get good reception anywhere but on a roof, but I'll get back to you, I promise. I miss you, buddy. Bye."

Roxas was about to call Olette when a water balloon came sailing over the edge of the building, smacking him in the face. Roxas quickly pocketed the phone to protect it and ran to take cover. More and more of them came over the rooftop, as Roxas ran for the wooden slat. He pulled on the handle, but it didn't give. Vexen lied to him. He _had_ locked him up here. Now there was toilet paper and eggs being thrown over the side, splattering next to Roxas, sending yolk spraying across his shoes and leg. He bent low and ran to the edge of the roof, peering over it.

There were about five students, none of which he recognized as Vexen. He immediately saw Saix, his hair and aversion to shirts an unmistakable quality. And he thought, as he dodged a water balloon, that he could see Larxene, too. There were two others, a tall boy with short blond hair and another boy with long black dreadlocks and a mean look, who reached into a tub of multi-colored water balloons, lobbing one at him. He had incredible aim, not surprising for his size. The water balloon hit Roxas square in the face, exploding painfully in his eyes, sending water up his nose.

"Screw you!" Roxas bellowed, putting a hand to his face. The other students only laughed. Roxas picked up a small rock and threw it at them, watching it bounce away from the boy with blond hair harmlessly. More laughter erupted among them, and they all began reaching for more balloons. Roxas yelped and dove for the wooden door as more watery assault pounded him. He beat his fists on the door over and over, harder and harder, on the verge of tears. "Let me in, damn you! Let. Me. IN!" his pounding slowed as his hands became sore. He noticed that the laughter and water balloon throwing had ceased. Cautiously, he crept over to the side of the roof and peered over.

His tormentors were gone, leaving only a wet spot on the gravel. The door remained locked, however, and there was no way to get down from the roof. Roxas remembered that Vexen had said "Not even administration knows it's here", and his heart sank even lower. He began trembling harder and harder as the light vanished from the sky completely. He watched as the lights slowly flickered to life across the campus, desperately wishing he'd worn clothing with fewer holes. There had to be _some_ way down from here. He thought of the phone in his pocket, but shook his head. What was he gonna do? Call Olette and say "Help, I'm stuck on a rooftop miles and miles away, come save me."?

Roxas sat on the very edge of the roof, soaking up what warmth was left in the stones from the day's limited sun. Wrapping his arms around himself, he closed his eyes and let a single tear slide down his cheek. How could his parents put him someplace so horrible? Had they known this would happen? Did they figure they'd just let the students here torment him for a few years so they didn't have to? Through his jumbled thoughts, there came the sound of crunching gravel. Roxas quickly withdrew his legs from the side of the building and peered over the edge cautiously, should it be one of the students back to re-wet him for the night.

But it wasn't. As Roxas peered closer, he realized he'd never even seen that student before. The boy below had light, silver hair that flowed down his back in a glorious cascade. He was tall, and very well built, slightly tanned. From what Roxas could tell, he was only wearing baggy black jeans and a long black trenchcoat that hung open in the slight breeze. In the back of his mind, he could see Olette melting for the guy. He didn't want to draw his attention, positive that he'd be just as nasty as everyone else, but he had no choice. He would probably freeze to death up here on the roof all night.

"E-Excuse me?" he called out feebly. The boy stopped, and looked around, as if spooked by the sudden appearance of a seemingly disembodied voice. "Up here!" Roxas called. The boy looked up and Roxas was stunned by his eyes. They were a shocking amber color, like the purest sunset dropped into a vat of melted gold. Even in this light, they were bright, but they looked kind enough.

"Oh..." the boy gasped. "Hey, stranger!" he waved.

"Uh...hi." Roxas called back. "Can you help me?" he begged.

"Well that depends." the boy answered. "What do you need?"

"Well you see, I'm kinda stuck up here." Roxas said. The boy nodded slowly, as if it made perfect sense. "And I'm soaking wet." Roxas added.

"A nasty combination." the boy pointed out. "What with night falling and all. Why are you stuck up there?" he asked. Roxas briefly explained how Vexen tricked him into coming up onto the roof, only to lock him there for the sport of his friends. The boy shook his head.

"Hoodlums..." he muttered. "I'll be right there." Roxas breathed a sigh of relief. He would be getting off this roof and into some warmth. He'd change out of his clothes, then find and personally beat the holy hell out of everyone who'd messed with him. If he got expelled for fighting with students_ here_, his parents would have no choice. They'd _have_ to bring him back and home school him. His mind reeled with possibilities when he heard the wooden door rattling. Roxas stared at it, thinking that it might have been a trick, and water balloons would come sailing out of the door. It opened, flooding the rooftop with light from below. There was the boy, beaming.

"I'm here to rescue you!" he chirped. Roxas couldn't help but smile. The boy climbed back down the rungs and Roxas did the same. Once inside, Roxas stopped shivering. He felt the boy wrap his trenchcoat over his shoulders, and stared up at him. The kid was in amazing shape, and Roxas suddenly felt very inadequate.

"Thank you." Roxas muttered, looking around for Saix and anyone else he'd love to strangle.

"You're welcome. And they're not here. They're at dinner." the boy said, noticing Roxas's angry glaring around the room. "I'm Xemnas, by the way." he added.

"Mmm...Roxas." he trembled.

"Nice to meet you, Roxas. And I'm sorry this happened to you." Xemnas sounded sympathetic.

"I don't know what I did to them." Roxas suddenly felt like crying.

"You didn't do anything." Xemnas assured him.

"Then why are people attacking me?!" Roxas demanded. Xemnas shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed no one was supposed to touch.

"Everyone goes through this when they're new. It's like initiation." he explained.

"Did you have to go through it?" Roxas asked, sitting on the floor, which was surprisingly warm. He figured it was from the heat rising up into the wood from the room below.

"Did I ever!" Xemnas cried. "Except when they got ahold of me, they threw me in the lake out back. Kept me there all night."

"They kept you against your will?" Roxas asked, his eyes huge.

"Well, not completely." Xemnas admitted. "They took me out on a boat. Said it was a gesture of friendship. They dropped me overboard and took off. I couldn't swim well back then and by the time I got to the shore, night had fallen. The howling of the wolves in the woods was enough to make me stay there the whole night."

"In the lake?!" Roxas cried.

"On the banks of it, in the water. When I finally worked up the courage to make a run for it around daybreak, my feet were so caked in sludge you could follow my trail all the way back." Xemnas nodded.

"Those jerks!" Roxas scoffed. "And I thought Seifer was bad..."

"Seifer?" Xemnas asked.

"Yeah. This guy that used to pick on me all the time back home. He's the reason I'm here. There was a fight, I got expelled, my parents sent me here as punishment." Roxas nodded.

"I'm sorry." Xemnas crooned sympathetically.

"I'm sorry for _you!_" Roxas said. "And to think, you have to deal with those people every day..." he mused.

"I don't actually. They've all graduated." Xemnas said. "And you want to know something hysterical?"

"Mmm..." Roxas responded.

"The one who orchestrated every cruel act against me my entire first month here... he wound up being my best friend. He still is." Xemnas grinned.

"You've got to be kidding me." Roxas choked.

"I'm not. The kids here... they're mean to new kids, simply because they're new. They don't really mean it." Xemnas explained.

"Can't they just be nice? Like you?" Roxas pleaded.

"I never used to be nice. I was the same way, but it's my Senior year, so I figured I'd mellow out for a change." Xemnas smiled.

"Well thank god for that..." Roxas muttered.

"Indeed. But I'm afraid not many other students share my sentiment. You're gonna be in a world of hurt for a while." Xemnas nodded sadly.

"There's no way around it?" Roxas groaned. Xemnas stared at the ceiling, thinking.

"Well, there is one way..." he mused aloud.

"Please, tell me!" Roxas begged.

"You have to learn how to play the game." Xemnas told him.

"The game? What game?" stuttered Roxas.

"Their sick little initiation game. You have to be able to calculate exactly what they're going to do, and when they're going to do it. Then you strike first. Beat them at their own game, you instantly gain respect, and they leave you alone." Xemnas explained.

"How do I do that?" Roxas asked.

"You're a smart kid." Xemnas said. "You'll figure it out."

"Any suggestions?" prodded Roxas.

"Sleep with one eye open, and only trust a few people." nodded Xemnas.

"Who do I trust?" Roxas whispered.

"Me, for one." Xemnas said. Roxas didn't feel any need at all to distrust Xemnas, and was glad there was at least one person here that he didn't have to fear. "And anyone else that doesn't give off the 'kill you in your sleep' vibe."

"No one that I've seen yet." Roxas muttered grudgingly.

"Class starts tomorrow, you don't know who you'll meet." Xemnas reminded him.

"I guess." Roxas mumbled.

"Well, I'd best be going. This isn't my dorm, and you should go get something to eat." Xemnas said, standing.

"I'm not hungry." Roxas said truthfully, looking at the floor.

"Well, be sure to at least have breakfast. And if you're ever in a rut, come find me." Xemnas began walking for the door.

"How do I find you?" Roxas called after him.

"Everyone knows me. Just mention my name." Xemnas said over his shoulder. "And you can keep the jacket."

Roxas watched as his savior walked out the door and descended the dark steps. His footsteps faded, and Roxas buried his face in Xemnas's jacket. He smelled amazing. Like rain, fine liquor and expensive cologne. For some odd reason, the scent and the jacket gave Roxas strength. _"They're not gonna break me."_ he decided. _"They're not gonna win."_

He crawled into his stiff bed, kicking his bags onto the floor, not caring who minded. He wrapped Xemnas's coat around himself tightly, grinning menacingly at the roof. He extinguished the light on his night table and waited in the dark. After only a few moments, he could hear an uproar of laughter ascending the stairs._ "And it begins..."_

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Isn't Xemnas awesome?

Okay, so Roxas has been kicked around a lot already since he got there, and that's enough to make any kid wanna go insane and break stuff, but I think Roxas has a bit more poise than that.

Things are gonna get so good!

Reviews?


	6. Ancient Knowledge

Yee haw!

I'm having way more fun with this than I should be!  
Or maybe I'm having just enough?

I really like this story so far.

It's right up there with my favorites.

Anyway, chapter 6 already! How's that for a slice of fried gold?

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"**Ancient knowledge"**

Roxas lay awake the whole night, listening to Saix, and the other two roommates he recognized as two of the people throwing balloons at him. Xaldin and Luxord were their names. To Roxas's surprise, they didn't mention him much at all. Nor did they mention brutally attacking him. In fact, the only mention of Roxas was when Luxord spazzed out upon discovering the imprint of someone's behind on his bed.

"Who was sitting on my bed? Who sat here?!" he demanded.

"Oh love of...chill out, Lux. It was just the new kid. He set his stuff down there earlier." Saix groaned.

"Well did you tell him not to?" Luxord cried.

"Yes. He knows all about your odd little obsession. You're fine." Saix grumbled. Roxas listened as they discussed dinner, how badly Xaldin wanted to get home to see his older sister's new baby, his niece. Roxas lay absolutely still, shifting only occasionally to give the illusion that he was sound asleep. His clothes were still a tad bit damp from the assault earlier, and they stuck to him uncomfortably, but he ignored it.

There was more pointless conversation. Luxord said something to Saix about him still owing money for the other day when Luxord "totally handed Saix's ass to him" in a card game. Saix told him to go jump off a bridge. Xaldin was surprisingly quiet, though he had a few random thoughtful comments to input, including one about not letting Vexen use their common area anymore for homework. There was now a nasty, unexplainable chemical burn in the rug that they'd surely get in trouble for. Roxas could feel himself start to nod off when he heard his name mentioned.

"So you have Roxas's schedule?" Luxord asked Saix.

"Got it. Came in a few minutes ago." Roxas heard Saix pull a piece of paper out from somewhere nearby.

"We shouldn't be talking about this here. He might not be asleep." Xaldin piped. _"Perceptive, aren't we?"_ Roxas thought poisonously.

"Go poke him and check." Luxord suggested. Roxas slowed his breathing and tried to relax his eyelids. Something told him that Xaldin wasn't too easily fooled. He felt a large, thick finger prodding his shoulder gently. He groaned and rolled over onto his left side, scrunching up his face in the typical manner of someone who doesn't wish to be awoken.

"He's out." Xaldin said, his tone much more relaxed._ "Sucker."_ Roxas's subconscious giggled.

"So who made up the dummy schedule?" Luxord asked.

"Mmm...Zexion." Saix answered. Roxas could hear him reaching for one of his many bottles of medication.

"What've we got for him?" Xaldin asked, intrigued.

"A bunch of bogus classes in a bunch of bogus buildings." Saix responded, cracking open another energy drink.

"Well that's not too creative." Luxord sounded disappointed. "If he asks anyone, they're gonna be able to tell him the whole thing is a fake."

"Yeah, Zexion was lazy." Saix agreed, swallowing a handful of pills and a mouthful of Rockstar. "But who's he gonna ask? I mean really. We've scared him so bad I'm surprised he isn't sleeping in the administration building tonight." Roxas could feel his blood boiling, but kept his hands from balling into fists.

"I feel bad for him." Luxord muttered, and Roxas felt his hatred soften a bit.

"Yeah, but it's one of those time-honored tradition things. We can't_ not _give him a hard time." Saix justified himself.

"He was pretty upset today." Xaldin remarked.

"I know, okay? I was there. I feel bad, too but... but all of us go through this. We can't make exceptions." Saix argued.

"At least it's not as bad as what I went through, _Xaldin_." Luxord growled. Roxas heard the bed creak under Xaldin's weighed as he shifted uncomfortably.

"You know I'm sorry about that." he mumbled sheepishly. "And the point is, it healed."

"'Healed'?!" Luxord's voice pitched. "You know how awkward it is trying to explain to people that the gigantic scar on my ass is from a guy I know?" he grumbled.

"He said he's sorry, Luxord." Saix mediated, his medication kicking in. Apparently his meds left him with little to no patience for people.

"How often do you actually have to explain the topography of your ass to people?" Xaldin asked curiously after a few moments of silence. Roxas heard Luxord throw a pillow at him, which he was sure was expertly dodged, or caught in mid-air.

"Getting back on topic..." Saix said irritably. "I'm gonna give him the schedule in the morning."

"Alright, then it's settled. He'll wander the grounds for a while and get yelled at by professors." Luxord again sounded unhappy with the situation. "We're really runnin' out of ideas."

"Well he's kind of a little guy, so we can't do anything physical to him." Xaldin grumbled. Roxas scoffed, offended, then winced.

"I think he's waking up..." Saix muttered. "We'd better get some sleep anyway."

"Whatever." Xaldin groaned, pulling the covers over his feet. "You keep the real schedule hidden." he warned Saix.

"I'm gonna keep it under my pillow." Saix mumbled, turning off his light. _"Bingo!"_ thought Roxas.

"G'night, you guys." Luxord chirped, burying his face in his pillow. There were only grunts in return as Xaldin clicked off the light on his night table. Roxas stared through the darkness at the sleeping figures as the breathing around him slowed and steadied. He quietly reached into one of his bags, feeling around for the tiny light he used to attach to his books for reading late into the night. He wrapped his fingers around the tiny plastic stem and pulled it out, switching it on. The beam of light was feeble unless concentrated on a certain spot.

"Okay..." Roxas whispered to himself. "Who's goin' down first?" the answer was actually painfully obvious. Saix would be the first to get his. 'Time-honored tradition' or not, what he did was 100 asshole, and he deserved what was coming to him. Roxas stepped lightly from his bed and crept across the floor, not making a sound. He got on his knees and crawled silently, the closer he got to Saix's bed. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears as he lifted the light over the edge of the bed, shining the pale beam in Saix's face. He didn't even so much as twitch.

Swallowing dryly, Roxas turned the light to Saix's collection of medication. He was sure that Saix knew his meds inside and out, so he would have to plan this perfectly. He scanned the bottles, looking inside at the different colors, shapes, and sizes. Finally, he found three bottles with identical looking pills inside. He carefully plucked them from the night table and brought them down onto the floor, where he looked them over more intensely.

Taking the pills out would make too much noise, so the labels would have to be switched. With the utmost care, Roxas dug his fingernail under the corner of one of the labels and began pulling it back, making sure he didn't mar the paper too much. If Saix thought for one second that his meds had been tampered with, Roxas was sure he'd be the first one Saix threw off a building. It took close to an hour, with Roxas having to stop every time the pills shifted inside the plastic bottle, making Saix stir, but he got all the labels switched. Now, the two meds he was supposed to take in the morning, he'd be taking at night. And what Roxas was sure was a sleeping pill would be taken first thing in the morning. Roxas tiptoed back to his bed where he fell into a peaceful sleep, grinning with triumph.

A few hours later, he found himself looking up into the bedraggled face of Saix. His blood ran cold for a moment, thinking that maybe he figured it out.

"Here..." Saix tossed the bogus schedule at him. "It came this morning." he mumbled. Smiling to himself, Roxas sat upright in bed and stretched.

"Well thank you, Saix." he said cheerfully. "Aww... you look tired."

"Maybe that's because I _am_ tired, smartass. My caffeine pill isn't working." Saix griped. Roxas nearly giggled out loud. Caffeine pill? This was turning out better than he thought. He looked down at the schedule, then back up at Saix.

"Man, it's early." he said.

"It's only 6:30. Classes start in an hour. Would you rather I let you sleep in and miss everything?" Saix snapped.

"Nope, I'm good." Roxas piped happily, springing out of bed and digging into his bags for a new outfit. He selected bluejeans and a black shirt with a faded Aerosmith logo on the front. He slipped Xemnas's jacket on over it and looked over at Saix. In the short time he was dressing, Saix had fallen asleep on his bed, his shirt half on, half off his body. Roxas slipped across the floor as stealthily as he had the night before. He pulled the real schedule out from under Saix's pillow and slipped the fake one back in it's place, just in case Saix happened to look. It would pass at a quick glance. Folding the paper, he stuffed it into his pocket.

"See ya!" he grinned at Saix, giving him a two finger salute before turning on his heel and heading for the stairs. Roxas bobbed out of the dorm and breathed in the fresh, cool morning air, suddenly very thankful for Xemnas's huge coat. He looked around and discovered that there was a steady stream of students heading for the main building. Slipping an earbud into his hear, Roxas turned on his MP3 player and followed them.

Once inside the building, it was obvious where they were all headed. Roxas's mouth began to water when he caught the smell of breakfast on the stale air. Eggs, bacon, and all other sorts of lovelies. His stomach gurgled loudly. Maybe he really had been hungry last night. He made his way down a large, dark stone corridor, not surprised that the school was just as medieval inside as it was outside. The tantalizing smell of breakfast was starting to make him drool as he stepped into a massive mess hall. There were little round tables all over, with students shoved into seats around them.

Roxas swallowed hard and made his way to the line of students where they stood in front of large, full banquet tables, loading food onto their plates. He smiled and began piling eggs and hashbrowns onto his own plate when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that it was Hayner calling back.

"Roxas!" came his friend's voice. "Roxas, are you okay? You sounded pretty messed up yesterday." Hayner seemed full of panic.

"Actually..." Roxas said, grinning at the memory of Saix taking the wrong medication. "I think I'm gonna do pretty well here."

"Are you serious? Dude, you sounded ready to kill yourself yesterday." Hayner pointed out.

"Yeah but...things change." Roxas grinned, nibbling on a piece of bacon.

"What's gone and made you all pro-academy?" Hayner asked suspiciously.

"I've had a revelation." Roxas said, handing his munny off to the woman collecting for the food at the end of the table.

"What kind of revelation?" Hayner asked, sounding worried. Roxas sat down at an empty table and looked around at the hall, marveling in his triumph, thinking about how great this could really turn out.

"It was actually some ancient knowledge that's always been there, in the back of my mind." Roxas murmured, taking a bite out of some toast.

"And what ancient knowledge would that be, riddle boy?" Hayner prodded. A huge smile spread across Roxas's face and he fought to keep from laughing maniacally.

"Payback's a bitch."

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Look out! Crazy Roxas!

Haha... ah.

Short chapter.

Icky.

Reviews?


	7. The go to guy

Ahhhhh... cigarettes are teh yum.

Moving on...

Chapter 7!  
I really wish I had internet so I could post these.

Ah well.

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"**The go-to guy"**

After a hearty breakfast that Roxas was desperately in need of, he pulled his schedule out of his pants and looked it over. He hadn't gotten to chose any of his classes. They took a look at what he was enrolled in back at Twilight Town High and based it off of that. He didn't get to choose his electives, either. Much to his dismay, the first class on his list was Theater. Roxas hated public speaking of any kind, and parading around a stage in an awkward costume, reading goofy lines and making a complete fool of himself in front of a crowd didn't really appeal to him at all. He had enough trouble presenting speeches to his class, and half of the time the people weren't even paying attention. As he read down the list, someone was coming up behind him, their footfalls lost in the incessant chatter around him.

"Roxas?" the voice made him jump. He whirled around and found himself staring into those incredible eyes again.

"Oh... Xemnas...hi." he mumbled, pressing a hand to his chest. "You nearly gave me a heartattack."

Xemnas only smiled, taking a seat next to Roxas. He pointed to what was left on his plate and gave Roxas a curious look. Roxas waved his hand and Xemnas began picking up chunks of scrambled egg between his fingers, plopping it into his mouth.

"So..." he began through a mouth full of food. "I haven't seen Saix yet today." he said, sounding amused.

"Yeah he uh...he was asleep when I left the dorm." Roxas said innocently, pretending to be interested in his schedule. Xemnas snickered.

"You switched his meds on him, didn't you?" he asked. Roxas froze, and his heart sank.

"Yeah." he muttered. "How did you know? Has someone else done that?" he asked.

"No..." said Xemnas, shaking his head and examining a half-eaten piece of bacon. "But it's an obvious weak spot and Saix wouldn't miss breakfast if someone had a gun to his head. So I figured you must have drugged him."

"You're pretty good at that." Roxas said in awe.

"Good at what? Stuffing my face or thinking deviantly?" asked Xemnas.

"Both?" Roxas volunteered. Xemnas grinned wide and went back to picking at Roxas's leftovers.

"But you know..." he said, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "You're kinda inexperienced at this whole revenge thing."

"Am not." Roxas said indignantly.

"You are. I realized that after I left the dorm last night. After what I said, I was certain you'd try something half-baked and crazy. I was kinda surprised to see you were still alive this morning." Xemnas sounded serious.

"I have an older brother." defended Roxas. "I can hold my own."

"Could you hold your own against six or seven older brothers?" Xemnas's memorizing eyes locked on Roxas's and he felt compelled to tell the truth.

"No..." he muttered feebly.

"Okay then..." Xemnas picked up a piece of toast, taking a large bite. "You're gonna need some help." he announced in a spray of crumbs.

"From you?" Roxas asked, making Xemnas frown and shake his head vigorously.

"No no no..." he said, swallowing the bread. "I can't do revenge for shit. But I know someone who can."

"Do tell." Roxas grinned, leaning forward.

"I know this dude, yeah? He's my go-to guy. His name's Axel, and he can be meaner than a snake if need be. Definitely a force to be reckoned with." Xemnas lowered his voice.

"How do I find him?" Roxas asked, excited at the thought of getting back at Saix and his goons.

"You have your first class with him today." Xemnas grinned. "I made sure of it."

"Wait a sec... _you_ made my schedule?" Roxas asked, suddenly a tad irked.

"That I did." Xemnas said proudly.

"But how? And why _Theater?_" Roxas grimaced at the word.

"How? Because I'm the single most influential student at this school. The administration is afraid of me. And I put you in Theater because let's be honest... you need to thicken your skin a bit. And nothing will toughen up your nerves like a few months in the drama program." Xemnas explained, turning back to Roxas's breakfast, hoping for another piece of toast. "Besides, Axel is the head Thespian and it's really the only way you'll get to spend any time at all with him. Little bugger's busier than me most days."

"'Thespian'?" Roxas snickered.

"Yes, 'Thespian'. It's a theater term and yes, I realize that it sounds like 'lesbian' but that's something you're just gonna have to get over."

"_I'll _have to get over... you don't mean..." Roxas nearly choked on his words.

"That's right, Roxy..." Xemnas grinned like the Cheshire cat. "You're a Thespian."

"I don't even know you that well and I think I hate you." Roxas grumbled, staring with remorse at his schedule.

"Awwwww, that's okay." Xemnas knew Roxas was only kidding and he clapped a large hand on the boy's back. "You wouldn't be the first." There was an deafeningly loud clanging of bells somewhere and Roxas yelped, throwing his hands over his ears.

"What the hell is that?!" he yelled, his voice barely audible. Xemnas looked at him as if he'd just sprouted a tail.

"It's just the first bell." he yelled back. After what seemed like an eternity, the clanging stopped and Xemnas and Roxas stood, following the crowd out the door.

"Why the hell is it so loud?" Roxas asked once they were outside, his ears ringing. Xemnas grabbed his shoulder and pointed upward. Above the main building were five massive bells Roxas hadn't even noticed until now.

"Back in the day," Xemnas said. "The main building was the most impressive cathedral in all of Twilight Town. They still use the bells for classes. Roxas was digging a finger in his ear as if he was trying to pull the ringing out.

"My ears hurt." he complained.

"Oh don't worry, that'll go away after a while." Xemnas nodded, crunching along the gravel.

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked, fearing a terrible answer.

"Well, you know that 'eeeeeeee' sound you're hearing right now?" he asked, and Roxas nodded. "That's the sound of ear cells dying. Once the ringing stops, you'll never hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while it lasts." he patted Roxas's back and began to walk away. Roxas shook his head, trying to push the image of having to use sign-language for the rest of his life from his mind.

"Hey wait!" he called after Xemnas. "Where do I..." he held up his schedule above the heads of the students standing between he and Xemnas and shrugged. The senior pointed to a small, squat building on the other side of the courtyard and nodded, ducking into a similar building. Sighing, Roxas trudged his way over to what he was sure was the Theater room, still digging in his ears.

The building was humid, Roxas noticed with contempt as he pushed open the large wooden door. He imagined this must have been what Shakespeare's high school theater must have looked like. That is, if they had high school back then. Roxas never really paid any attention. The place was made of the same gray brick as the rest of the school, though it looked like they'd build a raised up stage in the middle of a Colosseum-like theater out of black wood. Black fabric hung on all the walls as well, making the whole place seem much smaller. Roxas swallowed the rising panic he felt in confined spaces and walked forward, his footsteps echoing loudly in the vast space.

"Who the hell are you?" someone behind him demanded. Roxas threw his hands in the air in surrender.

"I'm...I'm Roxas." he stuttered, starting to turn.

"Don't turn around!" the voice demanded. Roxas felt something hard against his back. _"A gun!"_ he thought. _"I'm going to die!"_

"Please don't kill me..." Roxas begged silently. There was a pause as the man with the gun pondered his plea.

"I _might_ spare you," he said. "_If_... you jump up and down on one leg and say 'I like dollies and the color pink' over and over until I tell you to stop."

"You can't be serious!" Roxas groaned, despite the situation. Roxas felt the gun dig harder into his back and he complied. "I like dollies and the color pink! I like dollies and the color pink!" he cried, hopping on his right leg. There was a thud behind him and an outburst of laughter. Roxas stopped hopping and whirled around to see a boy with an incredible shock of red hair rolling on the floor, giggling insanely and holding his side, tears streaming down his face

"Dude, that was priceless!" laughed a boy with pink hair cascading down his back, helping the redhead to his feet.

"You... but...you _jerk!_" cried Roxas, fighting tears of embarrassment.

"Aww, c'mon, kiddo. I was just playin' around." the redhead said, placing a hand on Roxas's shoulder.

"Playing around?!" Roxas cried, pulling away. "You had a gun to my back!"

"Uh... stage prop?" his assaulter held up a gun that Roxas now realized was plastic. "You must be Xemnas's boy." he tossed the prop aside, looking Roxas over.

"Oh... the new kid after Saix and his other roomies?" asked the pink haired boy from where he now sat in a broken-down armchair, the stuffing falling out.

"That's the one." said the other boy, pulling on the jacket Roxas had been so kindly given. "My name's Axel, by the way." he said, running his fingertips along Roxas's shoulder.

"Marluxia!" cried the other boy happily, raising his hand and smiling. "Vexen's here somewhere..." he muttered, looking around.

"Where is he?!" cried Roxas. "I'm gonna tear his heart out!"

"Easy, cowboy." Axel said, holding Roxas by the collar of Xemnas's jacket. "Vexen's a kook, but he's harmless."

"Harmless?!" shrieked Roxas. "He locked me up on the roof and left me to die!"

"Oh yeah... that." Axel muttered. "He didn't do that."

"Yes he did!" Roxas insisted.

"No he didn't. Vexen told you to go up on the roof to get reception. He was being nice to you." Axel said roughly.

"Then why did he tell Saix about me being up there?" Roxas asked.

"He didn't." Marluxia interjected. "Saix saw you up there and locked you out. Vexen didn't have a thing to do with it."

"But...he smacked me in the forehead." Roxas said lamely, trying to find a reason to be mad.

"Did you not hear me call him a kook?" Axel asked. "Besides, he doesn't hit people that hard."

"Xemnas was right..." Marluxia muttered, standing up and stretching. "We've got a lot of work to do with this one.

"Mmm..." responded Axel, who was still appraising Roxas, a hand on his chin thoughtfully.

"Guys!" a tall blond boy with a mullet and a medium build came running into the room, wearing a floral dress that looked ready to bust at the seams. "It's so freakin' weird having your cellphone go off in your bra! It's like...oh...hi." His ice-blue eyes widened as he caught sight of Roxas, who stared at him awkwardly. Axel chuckled, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulder.

"And this..." he said, motioning with his head. "is Demyx. And believe it or not, there is a very good reason why he's wearing a dress, and no, it does not rhyme with 'he's a bag'."

"Chyeah...unlike _some_ people I could mention." Demyx glared playfully at Axel, who winced as if he got a papercut across his cheek.

"You see that corner, Dem Dem?" he asked, pressing his face to the other boy's and pointing to an empty corner.

"Uh...yeah?" Demyx answered cautiously.

"It's just chock full of people who give a damn what you think. Why don't you go say 'hi'?" Axel shoved him lightly and Demyx stumbled forward, making Marluxia chuckle. Flipping Axel off, he went to grab a plastic lawn chair, sitting backwards in it, staring at Roxas.

"Who's the new kid?" he asked, pointing.

"This is Roxas." Axel beamed, standing behind him and placing both hands on his shoulders. "He's a short, scrawny ball of misguided energy and we're gonna fix that."

"Hey!" Roxas cried, offended.

"Aww, don't take it personally, Itty Bitty." Axel crooned. "If it makes you feel any better, you've got the most adorable ass I've seen since Riku had that beach party."

"I'm sorry what?" Roxas twitched, not sure if he had heard right.

"What?" Axel smirked deviantly. Roxas shook his head and began to walk away when Axel reached out and smacked his ass with perfect timing, leaving a stinging mark on his left cheek. Roxas's mouth fell open and he grabbed his butt, turning around to gawk at Axel with a "you did _not _just do that" look on his bewildered face.

"Oh, I _so_ just did that..." Axel chuckled, as if reading his mind. He brushed past Roxas and clopped up the wooden steps, standing in the glare of the spotlight that had been aimed right at the center of the raised stage. He threw his arms in the air and grinned.

"Welcome to the Blackbox!"

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Ha!  
God, I make myself giggle sometimes.

Down to serious bishi-ness, though...

Is the story going too slow, or does it only seem that way because of the short chapters?


	8. Plan of attack

I've typed like... the last 4 chapters consecutively.

It's just so damn addicting! I can't stop!

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"**Plan of attack"**

Roxas stared wide-eyed as Demyx jumped up from his seat and tackled Axel, pinning him to the floor of the stage.

"Get off me, fatass!" cried Axel, though Demyx couldn't have been much bigger than Axel himself.

"Not until you kiss me..." Demyx taunted.

"You're totally serious, aren't you?" Axel gasped under the weight of his friend. Demyx nodded vigorously. Axel shrugged, grabbing Demyx's face and pulling him close. Both of them giggling, Axel pressed a hard, close-mouthed kiss to Demyx's lips. "Muah!" he exclaimed, releasing Demyx's face.

"You know you want me." Demyx grinned. Axel reached up to smack him, but Demyx pulled back. Marluxia looked on with amusement while Roxas recoiled a bit.

"I thought you weren't gay, Demyx." he said slowly. The blond looked up from Axel, who he was keeping at a distance with one outstretched arm.

"I'm not." he said. "I'm just very comfortable with my sexuality."

"Liar!" cried Marluxia, giggling to himself and chewing absently on his fingertips.

"The left cheek's all yours, Marly." Demyx crooned, pointing to his floral-clad rump.

"You got three seconds..." Axel warned, straining under Demyx's weight.

"Be seen and not heard, dear." Demyx said with a forced gruff voice, turning his head from Axel arrogantly.

"Three..." Axel began, though Demyx wouldn't look at him. "Two..." Marluxia and Roxas, much to his own amazement, were leaning forward in anticipation. "One!" he exclaimed, picking his legs up at an awkward angle, wrapping them around Demyx's waist and knocking the blond onto his back. Demyx's back connected with the black wood painfully and he cried out. Axel only laughed, pinning his friend.

"Say it." he demanded.

"Noooooo..." Demyx groaned against the pain of his head and his legs which were slowly going numb from Axel's strong legs still being wrapped around his middle. Axel grabbed his chin playfully.

"Sayyyy iiiiiit!" he whined, flexing his legs a bit against Demyx's body.

"Ugh! Fine! Fine... Axel is my lord and master, I am his humble servant." Demyx groaned.

"Aha!" Axel cried, kissing Demyx's cheek roughly. "I love you, man." he chuckled, standing up and brushing off the front of his white long-sleeved shirt. His red and black tie was slightly askew, so he adjusted it. As he walked away, Demyx made a half-hearted grab for Axel's knee-length khaki cargo pants, and missed.

"Now then..." Axel sighed, taking a seat on the floor in front of Roxas, picking small bits of gravel from the bottoms of his Chucks. "We need to come up with a plan of attack, my dear Roxas."

"How the hell did you do that?" Roxas gasped, still amazed at how easily Axel had swung his legs up, trapping Demyx.

"Oh that?" Axel asked, pointing over his shoulder at Demyx, who was still laying out on the stage, panting. "That was nothin'. I was in gymnastics. I can still put both feet behind my head if I try." he grinned.

"Gymnastics?!" Marluxia cried from his armchair, bursting into a giggle fit.

"Yeah yeah...gymnastics. And my parents wonder why I turned out gay..." Axel muttered, shaking his head. "Anyway, Roxas..." he turned his attention back to the boy in front of him. "I heard you poisoned Saix."

"What?!" Roxas exclaimed. "I didn't poison him! I switched his med labels so he took the sleeping pill this morning and will swallow the caffeine pill tonight." he explained.

"Misinformation as always, Marly." Axel glared around Roxas's legs at Marluxia, who simply shrugged and went back to twisting the ends of his hair absentmindedly.

"Two things..." Axel said, looking up at Roxas. "One, sit. You're makin' me nervous." Roxas sat down in front of Axel. "Good boy." Axel commended him. "And two, that pill swap wasn't that wise. Saix isn't an idiot. He'll figure it out before the end of the day, I can guarantee that."

"So I screwed up?" Roxas sounded highly disappointed in himself.

"No, not really." Axel admitted. "You just gotta find a way to do stuff like that without leaving evidence."

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked, watching Demyx sit up slowly and limp off the stage.

"Well you switched the labels, right?" Axel asked, getting a nod out of Roxas. "Well, he's gonna see that and know that someone tampered with his meds. But, we have a bit of an advantage." Axel grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"Care to elaborate?" Roxas asked.

"Love to. You see, I've known Saix for years and I know that by now, he already thinks he's broken you. So you're the last person he'd expect to have messed with his medication. He'll blame it on Luxord or Xaldin." Axel explained.

"You've known him for years?" Roxas asked.

"Oh yeah. We go way back. He's a really cool guy when he's not on some psychotic power trip or another." Axel nodded. "Not the point. The point is, the next time, you have to be more subtle."

"Subtle how?" Roxas inquired, looking over his shoulder at Demyx sitting in Marluxia's lap, braiding the soft, rosy hair.

"Next time, drop the meds into his drink or something." Axel explained, not even phased by Demyx.

"Won't he taste it?" Roxas grimaced remembering what it was like being unable to swallow a pill and having that acrid, bitter taste in his mouth as it dissolved.

"Like I said, I know Saix. That kid's been on medication since he popped out of his mother 16 years ago. He burps up that medicine-y taste all day long. He won't notice if it's in his drink." Axel rested his chin in his hands, his elbows digging into his crossed legs. Roxas felt sorry for Saix.

"Does he really need all that medication?" he asked. Axel shrugged.

"He has really bad migraines and ADHD, but other than that, not really." Axel grumbled. "His parents were one of those who expected perfection to come in a prescription bottle. Thought they could make their son the ideal child by loading him up on meds. Can't really say it's done any harm to him, though. His brother turned out same as him and doesn't take a damn thing." he said.

"I have a question..." Roxas mused.

"I've got an answer." Axel smiled, leaning back on his hands.

"If you're friends with Saix... why are you helping me mess with him?" Roxas asked.

"Because he can be a real jerk. And I don't really like your other roommates, either. Besides, messing with people is what I live for." Axel grinned, looking past Roxas to the armchair. "Aww..." he swooned. Demyx was curled up and sleeping against Marluxia, who was out cold as well. Marluxia had his hand wrapped around Demyx's back, the blond's face to Marluxia's chest.

"You're sure he's not gay?" Roxas asked, looking at the pair. Axel shook his head.

"Sometimes I wonder about them both." he sighed. "Anyway... the bell's gonna ring soon, but I want you to come straight here for lunch, okay? Don't stop anywhere else."

"Won't the professor mind?" Roxas asked, remembering the lectures he got from his teachers about being in the classrooms while they weren't there.

"Roxas..." Axel stared him down. "Dear, sweet, boneheaded Roxas... what have you noticed about behavior in the Blackbox?" he asked. Roxas ignored the condescending words and thought for a moment.

"It's a madhouse." he said finally.

"Exactly." Axel chirped. "You really think we'd get away with acting like this if there was a professor around?"

"No..." Roxas said, realizing he hadn't seen a professor the entire time he was here.

"I'm the head Thespian." Axel said. "So I count as a theater professor."

"Not bad." Roxas nodded. "And the fact that you only have like.. three students besides you?"

"That's Xemnas's doing." Axel said, keeping his voice low to not disturb his sleeping friends. Roxas remembered Xemnas saying he was the single most influential student at school. Maybe he was right.

"So administration never checks up on you?" Roxas asked.

"Nope. Xemnas tells them we're doing fine and they look the other way. We put on a play every now and then to keep them quiet, hence Demyx's dress, and it's all good." Axel said proudly.

"How do you have a play with only four or five people?" Roxas asked. Axel chuckled.

"There's about seven other classes besides this one throughout the day. It's just first hour that I oversee all on my own." he explained. "It's where we hang out, act stupid, work on our productions, whatever we want. Vexen usually does his alchemy homework in the back room. But you..." he pointed at Roxas. "You will be spending your time here learning to be a master of revenge and one-upping."

"A master, huh?" Roxas grinned.

"Damn right, kid. A master. I don't know why, but Xemnas has taken a liking to you and so have I. And if you're gonna walk with the giants, you have to learn how to keep up or get crushed, ya feel me?" Axel said, completely serious.

"Yeah. Yeah I got it." Roxas nodded as the bells above the main building began to toll, bringing Marluxia and Demyx out of their peaceful slumber. Axel stood, grabbing a ratty black messenger bag from the stage and Demyx ran to take the dress off, though underneath it he was still fully clothed in jeans and a t-shirt. Marluxia stretched and yawned, his black jacket falling open to reveal a tight white undershirt that complimented his black jeans. Roxas felt horribly under-dressed.

"Lunch." Axel reminded him. "Be here."

"I will, don't worry." Roxas nodded. Before he even realized what was going on, Axel wrapped him in a hug and kissed his cheek.

"Don't take anyone's shit today. If you need to, you come back here." he called over his shoulder, walking away. Roxas wanted to nod or wave or something, but all he could do was stare. It was the first time he'd been hugged by anyone at the school. The first time he'd felt safe. Axel was nuttier than a fruitcake, but he was nice and so were his friends. Not only that, but Roxas now had the support of the the two most influential kids in school. He never had _that _kind of leverage at Twilight Town High.

Maybe he _would_ make it outta here in one piece...

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Blah blah blah, character development.

Questions? Comments?

Leave a review.


	9. Maybe Someday

I haven't slept all night.  
My eyes... they burn!

But I must keep writing! The addiction is overwhelming!

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"**Maybe someday"**

As Axel had instructed, after going through his morning classes, which seemed nothing more than a blur, Roxas headed for the theater when the bell rang for lunch. He noticed as he crunched along the gravel and the stone footpaths that the clouds seemed heavier today, with more gray buried deep in the billowy puffs. He wondered if that gray would turn to rain and hoped dearly it wouldn't as he pushed open the door of the Blackbox.

"Hello?" he called into the stale silence. "Hey, it's Roxas!" he called again. Shaking his head and muttering under his breath, Roxas let the door shut behind him, wishing he could prop it open and air out some of that old fabric-y smell.

"Rox!" he heard a voice that could have been Vexen's or Demyx's. "We're in the back room!" the voice sounded muffled and really far away, but Roxas followed it to a door that was cracked just enough, and slipped inside. The back room was the complete opposite of the main theater. The walls had been hand-painted to look like the clear blue skies that Roxas left behind almost a week ago. There were fluffy white clouds dabbed on with sponges, and the artists had painted their signatures near the light switch, the letters bulky and awkward. Roxas didn't recognize any of the names, and figured they all must have graduated.

"Good boy." chirped Axel where he was sprawled out on a hunter green couch with patches on the cushions. "You came back."

"Where else was I gonna go? I don't like eating in the mess hall." Roxas grimaced at the memory of this morning.

"Ah yeah... the bells, right?" Axel nodded, pointing to an ear that was partially covered in flaming red hair. Roxas shrugged, then did a double-take at Axel, who he hadn't paid much attention to since he got in. The boy wasn't wearing a shirt, and his milky chest seemed to have an ethereal glow in the dim lighting, his khakis hung low on his hips, the top of red and black plaid boxers peeking over the waist just a bit. Though his shirt was absent, he chose to leave the tie around his neck, and it was loosened, slipping down his front like a river of silk. His arms rested above his head on the arm of the couch, toned with gently sloping curves in all the right places. He wore a bandage from his elbow to his wrist and around his thumb, a few hand-made bracelets on top of it.

"What uh... what happened to your arm?" Roxas asked, his voice squeaking a tad. Axel shrugged without even looking away from Roxas.

"I pulled a muscle last week helping Demyx move some stuff in his dorm. I think it's a ligament, actually. It hurts somethin' awful, but that's life ya know." his voice was soft as the lighting.

"Mmm..." Roxas nodded, swallowing dryly. "So uh..."

"Ah, right. Revenge training." Axel sat up on the couch and reached over slapped Demyx's back playfully where he was bent over the small desk, scribbling a picture on a piece of paper. Demyx shrugged it off, but Roxas walked forward and peeked over his shoulder. The blond had been sketching a picture of a luxurious beach, water breaking on the shore, and a boy sitting beside the water, playing what looked like an over-sized guitar. There was no color in the picture, but the way Demyx had drawn it, the whole thing seemed to fill with life and leap off the page.

"That's beautiful..." Roxas breathed, watching Demyx add texture to the waves.

"Well thank you." Demyx smiled, moving his hand away from the paper so Roxas could get a better look.

"Who's that?" asked Roxas, pointing to the boy.

"Me." answered Demyx. "And my sitar. I miss that thing. It got broken about a year ago and it's such a hard instrument to make, I haven't found anyone that will make me a new one."he sounded sad.

"You like the ocean?" Roxas asked, his eyes still flickering over the sketch.

"I_ love_ the ocean." Demyx gushed. "I grew up next to it my whole life. I'd be in the water from the time I woke up, till I was too tired to stand in the waves. My parents used to joke that I was part fish."

"I've only been to the beach a few times." Roxas mumbled, feeling inadequate not only in the shadow of Demyx's obvious talent, but because he knew that while he was from an upper-middle class family, people who lived near the beach could buy six of his house in Twilight Town and still have the money to furnish them all.

"My parents have a house right on the beach, so when we bust outta here, you're welcome to come stay with me!" Demyx grinned.

"In two years?" Roxas groaned at the thought.

"'Course not. For the holidays." Demyx corrected him. Roxas remembered that he promised his friends back home that he'd be there for the holidays. All the same, he wasn't in any position to turn down friends _here_...

"I'd love to." Roxas forced a smile. Axel had finally found his white button-down shirt and slipped it back over his shoulders, leaving it unbuttoned, and joined Roxas where he hovered over Demyx.

"That's beautiful, Dem." Axel commended his friend, then turned to Roxas. "Shall we?" he asked, tilting his head. Axel took him back out into the theater part of the building, and Roxas set his bag down next to Axel's.

"Alright, kiddo. It's time we take stock of what we're up against, just me and you." Axel smiled, pointing to the stage. Roxas climbed up the steps and sat in the middle of the stage, Axel walking slowly behind him.

"So, you did pretty well for yourself with Saix. I'll give ya that." Axel grinned, sitting crosslegged. "But that's because his weakness was obvious. I don't know your other roommates very well, I've only dealt with them for class. But I know someone who does. There's this kid, his name's Zexion..."

"I know him." Roxas cut him off.

"You do?" Axel asked, surprised.

"Yeah. He knows that Larxene chick. And he made the dummy schedule for Saix. He's like his lackey." Roxas frowned.

"Aha... he only appears to be." Axel smiled, holding up a finger. "Didn't you notice that the schedule was just thrown together? With no real effort? And he looks miserable around Larxene."

"The schedule did look a_ little_ off but... if he hates her so much, why is he Larxene's boyfriend?" Roxas asked, making Axel laugh till he choked.

"Trust me, he is _not_ Larxene's type." he sniffled, still pink in the face.

"He's not?" Roxas was surprised.

"Not without a lot of surgery and estrogen pills." Axel giggled, making Roxas blush in realization.

"So if he's not her boyfriend...?" Roxas began.

"He's like her pet. All that's missing is the leash, which I'm sure she'd love to clip to that dog collar he wears around his neck, but it's against dresscode. She just likes being in control."

"Wow..." Roxas croaked.

"Anyway, our emo friend is what you might call 'ambiguous', somewhere in the gray area. A bit of a mercenary." Axel stretched his arms over his head, the spotlight playing shadowy tricks on his toned chest.

"And right now we're the higher payers?" Roxas asked.

"In a way. You see, when Zexion's little sister came to the Academy a year ago, Saix and his band of bullies gave her a hell of a hard time. Really frosted Zex, 'tradition' or not. So when I came to him asking for information, he was more than willing to help. Besides, he owes me..." Axel mumbled that last bit, picking at the dirt beneath his fingernails.

"Owes you?" Roxas's eyebrows shot up.

"You don't want to know." Axel rolled his eyes.

"No no no..." Roxas smiled, rolling forward onto his knees. "I want to know." he grinned.

"Well that's all well and good, Skippy. But wish in one hand..." Axel smiled back, tilting his head. Roxas crawled towards Axel and poked his shoulder.

"Tell me." he demanded.

"Newp." Axel shook his head.

"Please?" Roxas begged.

"No." Axel answered him.

"You suck. One of these days I'm just gonna have to go ninja on your ass, then you'll tell me." Roxas huffed playfully.

"Ninja, eh?" Axel's tone was amused.

"Chyeah. Ninja... 'Cause... you know... I got the mad skill." Roxas smiled to himself, Axel shook his head.

"You'd better, kiddo." he breathed, turning serious. "Because guess who our next target is?"

"Please say it's the cardshark with OCD." Roxas pleaded.

"Wrong. We're goin' after Xaldin." Axel seemed unphased by this.

"Big guy, dreadlocks, looks like he could snap a pelvis in half with his bare hands?" Roxas gulped.

"That's the one."

"There is no way that guy has a weakness." Roxas spazzed.

"Oh ho... but he does." Axel grinned, looking more like a crazy person with each passing second. "Zexion's informed me that our good buddy Xaldin has an incredible phobia of two things."

"Those being?" Roxas pressed.

"Spiders and closed spaces." Axel said, sending a shiver down Roxas's spine.

"I hate those things too." he groaned.

"Don't worry, you won't have to be near either one." Axel assured him.

"How do you mean?" Roxas inquired.

"Well here's my plan..." Axel leaned forward and began to draw a makeshift diagram in the dust on the floor. "We find a way to lure him away from Saix and the others during lunch, bring him down the corridor on the north side of the main building, and into this old, abandoned classroom I know of. Now, this place was built hundreds of years ago before the term 'closet space' meant anything to an architect and the closet... I'll be surprised if he has so much as an inch of room once we get him in there." Axel's finger was coated with dust and bits of glitter from a production past when he finally picked it up off the floor.

"So how do we get him into the closet? I doubt he'd walk in there willingly." Roxas pointed out.

"Ah yes. But again, I've covered all angles. All we have to do is lure him into this room, give him the old one-two, shove him in, lock the door and walk away."

"And the spiders?" Roxas asked, the word catching in the back of his throat.

"We're going to use fake, but incredibly life-like, spiders. Right before we slam the door, we toss in a bucket. I wouldn't wish Xaldin on anything living. Even a spider." Axel answered him.

"We'd better wear hoods or something of some kind so he doesn't recognize us." Roxas thought out loud, lighting a spark in Axel's eyes.

"Doesn't recognize us_ yet_. Remember... this is about gaining respect. We'll tell him it was us but..when he's a little less pissed off." he smiled. Roxas glanced up from the diagram, meeting Axel's shimmering emerald eyes for only the briefest of moments. There was warmth there, and something else, brooding just below the surface. Before Roxas could place it, Axel tore his eyes away, looking back to the diagram.

"So all we have to do is figure out how to lure him away, and how to get him into the closet without getting ourselves crushed." Roxas nodded, clearing his throat.

"Pretty much." Axel agreed, looking over the lines in the dust.

"Well let's see..." Roxas began. "We could always send him a note or someth-..." Roxas felt a velvety fingertip on his lips.

"In due time, Roxas." Axel soothed.

"But why not now?" Roxas demanded around the finger.

"Because the bell is gonna ring." Axel said, not even looking at a clock.

"How do you kn..." Roxas began when the tolling of the massive bells broke through the calm of the school like lightening through a darkened sky. Axel only smiled triumphantly and stood, still not bothering to button his shirt, he hopped off the stage and picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

"You think I'll ever be that good?" Roxas called after Axel, who's long, pale hand lingered on the door.

"At what?" Axel asked over his shoulder as Demyx came stumbling out of the back room clutching his sketchbook to his chest.

"Everything _you're_ good at." Roxas answered him. Axel chuckled, the smile looking so divine on his full lips.

"Maybe someday." he called back, pushing open the door, a rush of cool air and the smell of it hitting Roxas in the face. He'd been right about the clouds. It had started to rain.

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So pretty much everyone loves this one, and I have to say, I do too.

I'm not sure if this chapter really turned out the way I wanted it to, but I like it all the same.

Gonna try to get around to maybe doing a chapter that focuses only on Axel so you can kinda see what's going on in _his_ mind.

Reviews! I love em!


	10. Once in a lifetime

I'm an epic failure.

I'm getting all these awesome reviews and I have no way of responding.

But they are appreciated!

Very, very much!

Mmkay, so I've decided to take a short break from the tortures of Roxas's life to take a peek into Axel's angst. I'm pretty sure a lot of you know where I'm gonna go with this, but let's see how much I can surprise you.

Ready?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**Once in a lifetime"**

"Grueling" couldn't even begin to describe Axel's day. From the moment he left the sanctuary of the Blackbox, he'd been on the go. Running here and there, doing this, doing that, getting lectured by professors about 'proper class attire'. It wasn't Axel's fault that he couldn't breathe, why _shouldn't _he be allowed to keep his shirt open? Trying to talk sense into professors was like trying to convince Xemnas that the world _didn't_ revolve around him. It just wasn't going to happen. Not any time soon, at least. So Axel had been made to suffer the rest of the afternoon with the humidity making his shirt cling to chest and back with a thin layer of sweat. Talk about uncomfortable. By the time Axel was making his way back to the dorm after a day of classes and mentally beating his brains out over the unattainable, he was ready to tear his shirt off and jump into the lake.

"The next time I sign up for something like the dance committee, shoot me." Axel grumbled to his roommate Xigbar, the others absent from the room as he stumbled in, falling onto his bed.

"Long day, buddy boy?" Xigbar grinned sarcastically from his bed where he sat sorting his CDs into piles, wearing only boxers, and a black shirt depicting colors and shapes worthy of an acid trip, the words "Mindless Self Indulgence" scrawled across the top in screen print. "And if you're serious about the 'shoot me' thing..."

"Never mind the 'shoot me' comment. I forgot who I was talking to." Axel muttered, staring up at the ceiling. The dorms were identical, though Axel had managed to make his special. There were posters of his favorite bands and Struggle champions, plus all the neat little doodles Demyx had cooked up for him during downtime in his classes. Axel wished he could hang his scarves and ties (which he had enough of to clothe a small country), but there was no way even Laxaeus could get a single nail into the stone wall, let alone enough for his collection.

"What's eating _you_?" Xigbar grunted at Axel's curt reply. The redhead sat up, leaning forward over his crossed legs to stretch out his cramped back.

"It just hasn't been the best of days, Xig." he replied.

"Why not?" Xigbar prodded.

"You mean besides having to be fully clothed when I could barely breathe?" Axel groaned.

"It wasn't that bad, man." Xigbar told him.

"Yeah well, you don't have a thing with humidity, I do." Axel sulked.

"Is it because it ruins your smexy spikeage?" Xigbar joked, trying to lighten his friend's mood. It worked, making Axel crack a bit of a smile.

"My spikes are definitely one part of me that's completely indestructible. Remember that time you threw me into the pool at your dad's house? My spikes were fine." Axel reminded him.

"Yeah... that kind freaked me out, by the way." Xigbar teased.

"Yeah yeah..." Axel smiled, looking down at his black comforter. Xigbar slipped off his bed and took a seat next to Axel on his.

"Seriously man, what's up? You're not yourself." he sounded concerned, but Axel waved it off.

"It's just... something." Axel didn't like letting anyone see inside his head.

"Some_thing_ or some_one_?" Xigbar asked.

"Someone." Axel admitted after a moment of reluctant silence.

"Alright, so who's face am I rearranging?" Xigbar asked, completely serious. Axel liked having Xigbar around for that very reason. If Xemnas's status, Laxaeus's size or Marluxia's fascination with large, sharp objects didn't scare someone into backing off of Axel, Xigbar's mere presence certainly would. He wasn't a very big guy, and he was nice around his friends, but the eyepatch he wore to 'hone his shooting skills' only added to the usually very mean stare he gave strangers and troublemakers.

"I don't want you rearranging his face. By all means, leave it just the way it is." Axel sighed.

"Oooh boy." Xigbar murmured, catching Axel's meaning.

"Yeah." Axel felt lower than dirt as he stared at his bright red socks.

"So what's his name?" Xigbar asked, pulling at the pins Axel had attached to his messenger bag. It was impossible for him to go two minutes without fidgeting with something or another.

"Roxas." Axel sighed, still staring.

"It's a nice name." Xigbar noted. "So what's the problem?"

"Mmm... I think he's straight." Axel explained, making Xigbar shrug.

"You sure 'bout that?" he asked, now playing with the patches Axel had sewn onto the bag.

"If you'd have seen the look he gave Demyx when he came out of the back room in a dress..." Axel muttered sadly. Xigbar dropped the keychain he was fondling and cringed.

"I know men in dresses is an every day occurrence in that sideshow you run across campus, but I think anyone would be giving Demyx a look if they saw him in a dress." Xigbar pointed out, scratching absently at the large, pink scar on the side of his face. Axel nodded, then took to resting his chin in his hand.

"Still..." he muttered.

"Well you should ask him." Xigbar said.

"Oh I can see that going over real well. 'Hey, I think you're cute. You wouldn't happen to be into guys, would you?'." Axel scoffed.

"Why not?" Xigbar shrugged. "Unless he's some hardcore homophobic, anti-love douchecookie, I doubt he'll react too harshly."

"Well put, Xig." Axel chuckled. "I just don't know if I want to say anything, though."

"And why not?" Xigbar asked. Axel sighed and chewed on the nail of his middle finger, thinking for a moment.

"It's like..." he tried forming the right words as he sat up straight. "It's like when you see a really beautiful bird just sitting there on the fence against a gray sky. It's so lovely that you want to capture it and keep it in a cage for yourself, so you can look at it every day. But you know that if you take a step towards it, the bird will fly away and you won't ever see it again. So you stand completely still and enjoy it's majesty while it lasts." Axel rambled, feeling that this was the perfect metaphor. He looked to Xigbar, who was staring back at him with an open mouth and wide eyes.

"Wow." he croaked. "You got it bad, kiddo."

"No I don't." Axel huffed, throwing himself down on the comforter, burying his face in the sweetly scented fabric.

"You don't even put forth that kind of poetic effort in writing class." Xigbar pointed out.

"I hate you." Axel mumbled into the cloth like a little kid being teased for his crush.

"I'm right and you know it. This goes way beyond thinking he's cute." Xigbar seemed pleased with himself.

"Go. Away." Axel growled, his cheeks nearly matching his hair.

"As if." scoffed Xigbar. "I'm gonna sit right here until you admit that I'm right." he readjusted himself on the bed and stared at Axel, who propped himself up on his elbows, looking cross.

"Why do you insist on making yourself _such_ a nuisance?!" he demanded.

"Because I know you, Axel." Xigbar said, all cockiness gone from his voice. "And I know that you don't let people in. You only care about two things: Theater and yourself. I used to think you were the worst kind of anti-social jerkoff until you started talking to me sophomore year." he explained.

"So what are you saying?" Axel asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm saying that this can go one of two ways." Xigbar's voice was grave. "But if you feel that strongly about him, you should at least say something."

"Xigbar, I only met him today." Axel protested.

"Well that only strengthens my point." Xigbar insisted.

"I'd ask if you were out of your mind, but years of knowing you have already answered that question." Axel glared.

"Axel, let me ask you something." Xigbar lay down on the bed beside his friend. "What's more profound: waking up one day and realizing you're attracted to your best friend, or meeting someone by complete chance and getting that feeling in your gut like you've just found the other half of your soul?"

"The second one." Axel groaned in defeat.

"Okay. Now do you know how often the second one actually _happens_ in real life, despite all the lame, half-assed romantic comedies floatin' around?" Xigbar asked him. Axel exhaled deeply and let his face fall back into the fluff of the comforter.

"Enlighten me." came his muffled reply.

"Once in a lifetime, Axel." Xigbar said solemnly. "And only to the very lucky. Unfortunately, most of the time the person has their head _so far up their ass_..." he stared hard at Axel, though he knew he couldn't see him. "That they let something like that pass them by completely." he finished softly.

"I'm sure that works just fine for straight people." Axel snapped, not picking his head up.

"I thought you got over your sexuality conflict freshman year." Xigbar fired back.

"I did." Axel responded, lifting his head a bit and resting his chin on the comforter. "The rest of the world is yet to catch up."

"Fuck the rest of the world, Axel." Xigbar was becoming frustrated. "You're here. On campus. You know as well as I do that nothing in the outside world is relevant here."

"It doesn't matter." Axel said sadly. "We've all got to graduate sometime."

"And if you find at graduation that you can't walk out of there proudly holding the hand of someone you care about, then maybe the whole thing really _was_ a waste. Maybe you won't even find out until graduation if you have it in you. And maybe something will happen between now and then that makes the whole thing seem minute and unimportant. But for now, you just have to suck it up and go for it. Because trust me kiddo, when you're on your deathbed you'll be regretting the things you didn't do a lot more than the things you _did_ do." Xigbar spoke with wisdom far beyond his years.

And Axel knew he was right. A few years back, Xigbar had been in a car accident that had almost claimed his life. He laid there in the hospital for three days on life-support, teetering on the border of life and death. He'd had time to make his peace. Axel knew this was one of his friends that definitely wasn't talking just to hear their own voice.

"You're making it seem so monumental." Axel said, knowing his place in the conversation.

"Everything is monumental, dude." Xigbar lost his air of superiority and slipped off the bed, returning to organizing his CD collection. Axel lay in bed for a moment, staring over the edge at the stone floor, Xigbar's words reeling in his head. Okay, so maybe everything in life _was_ monumental for the simple fact that everything in life is significant. But was it all really worth stressing over? Axel groaned inwardly and sat up.

"Hey Xig?" he asked.

"Mmm..." Xigbar responded, not looking up from the pile of shining disks in his lap.

"I'm gonna go take a walk." Axel looked out at the dark sky, the clouds a stark white against it.

"You do that..." Xigbar muttered, tossing a CD across his bed, into a pile. Axel grabbed his MP3 player from his night table and slipped on a pair of large black shoes. With a wave to Xigbar that he wasn't sure he saw, Axel walked down the steps and out into the common area.

"You're doing your homework _here_ tonight?" he asked Vexen, who sat in a chair near the fire, shifting through papers and books, his perpetual mumbling to himself audible over the crackle.

"Xaldin kicked me out of the common area in his dorm." Vexen muttered irritably. Axel nodded, not saying another word to his roommate. He stepped out into the cool night air, the smell of rain still hanging on it like a love-struck boy on his sweetheart's every word. Smiling up at the night sky and it's endless field of stars, Axel pushed an earbud into his ear, pressing the 'play' button.

"_The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight. And this is the moment that I live for, I can smell the ocean air..."_

Axel's steps were even as he crunched along the gravel, stepping up onto a stone footpath. There were still a few students out on the grounds, taking their evening walks before bed. Some of the professors were standing outside the buildings, relishing in the cool air and keeping an eye on the students as they passed. Axel couldn't help but imagine he was like one of those professors, more specifically like the ones stuck below ground in the subterranean classrooms all day. Only artificial light and recycled air to keep them alive while the walls of the room pressed down on them. He knew what it was like to have your world closing in. To know that the door is right there on the other side of the room, but being too weak and scared to get up from your seat and make a run for it.

"_Here I am, pouring my heart onto these rooftops. Just a ghost to the world, that's exactly what I need..."_

Sure, Axel appeared strong on the outside. He had to develop a thick skin growing up. Everything from his hair to his flamboyant personality had gotten him made fun of and kicked around. It also made him incredibly guarded. And how could this kid just side-step all his mental walls and find a way to wedge himself into every thought Axel had? Maybe it was the way he looked into his eyes. Like those beautiful blue irises were searching for something Axel had hidden away like a dark secret.

"_From up here the city lights burn like a thousand miles of fire, and I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day..."_

Shaking his head, Axel walked on aimlessly. His feet seemed to be in more control than his brain as he revisited the sight of Roxas's eyes peering into his, shredding his defenses like tissue paper. He wondered if Roxas had felt that spark crackle between them that afternoon, then scorned himself for even entertaining such a ridiculous notion. Why would Roxas be interested? At the very most, he'd find Axel attractive. You're not supposed to like someone after just barely meeting them. Then Xigbar's words ran through his head about finding the other half of your soul in someone. Axel wanted to beat the side of his head until the day's events came pouring out his ear, then walk away leaving a puddle of doubt and sapphire eyes right there on the grass.

"_Swear I won't miss a beat, 'cause I never have before..."_

Axel had almost forgotten that he was walking when he felt himself stumble off the grass of the courtyard and nearly topple forward onto more gravel. Teetering a bit, he looked up and found himself looking right up at Saix's dorm. At Roxas's dorm.

"Idiot!" he cursed himself, turning on his heel. The sound of a door flying open drifted into his ears, even over his music. He turned around just in time to see Roxas storm down the cobble-stone steps, the door of the dorm slamming shut behind him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lawls

I love that song, by the way. It's one of my favorites.

"Anthem of our dying day" by Story of the Year. Download it or look it up on youtube or something. It's awesome, I promise.

So tell me...whatcha think?"


	11. When it rains, it pours

I'm having such a blast writing this!  
And I just realized that I got to 11 chapters with no problem whatsoever.

Go me!

And actually, I wouldn't be so psyched about this without all the awesome feedback I've been receiving. Everyone really seems to love this one and I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the good reviews! I'm glad you're all really getting into the story and I hope I don't disappoint you!

Onward!

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"**When it rains, it pours"**

"Roxas!" Axel called, catching the blond's attention while he pocketed his MP3 player. Axel jogged through the white pebbles, waving an arm. "Hey man, what happened?" he asked.

"My pictures are gone." Roxas sulked.

"I...don't follow." Axel said, falling into step with Roxas as he stalked off towards the main building.

"All my pictures from home! Of my friends, my family... even the picture Pence took of me when I won the Struggle Championship." Roxas groaned.

"You won a Struggle Championship?" Axel was impressed.

"Yeah, but it was a while ago. Not the point!" Roxas cried angrily.

"Look, I know they didn't burn them or anything. They probably just hid them." Axel was speaking the truth, though there would be no consoling Roxas right now.

"But they still moved them! Hid them, whatever they did with them! And when I asked what happened to the 50 some-odd pictures that _magically_ disappeared from my wall, they claimed to have no idea! I got out of there before I killed one of them because trust me... I'm ready to!" Roxas's voice was rising with each syllable and Axel feared he'd draw the attention of a faculty member.

"You'll get them back." Axel said, knowing all anyone could do was wait for them to stop picking on Roxas.

"But I wanted to see my friends." Roxas was calmer now, and deeply hurt.

"I know." Axel said.

"No you don't." Roxas sighed. "All your friends are here. Mine are miles away."

"Not all my friends are here. Just the ones I've made while at school. All my really good friends are probably gathered around a bonfire on the beach right now singing their fool heads off." Axel reasoned.

"But you have all your pictures of them, don't you?" Roxas argued.

"Yeah..." Axel knew there was no point in denying it. His initiation had been over years ago.

"I wanted to see Hayner and Pence... and Olette." Roxas seemed on the brink of tears. Axel hated using this moment of weakness to pick Roxas's brain, but he would kick himself later if he didn't.

"Olette... is she a friend of yours?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah." Roxas nodded. "Like my mother, really. She makes sure I get my homework done and that I eat properly at lunch and blah blah blah."

"Ah...is she pretty?" Axel was hoping he wasn't being too obvious.

"I guess. I never really thought about it, but Pence had the biggest crush on her at one point, so she must be cute at least." Roxas didn't seem to notice Axel's prying. The redhead heaved a sigh.

"And Pence is your guy friend?"

"Yeah. Hayner, too." Roxas answered.

"They special to you?" Axel knew he was close to pushing it.

"Extremely." Roxas answered.

"You love 'em?" Axel asked. "Your friends, I mean." he added, trying to cover any hidden meaning.

"To death." Roxas said with vigor.

"As friends?" Axel held his breath, hoping Roxas was still too pissed off to catch on.

"Of course." Roxas kicked a stray piece of gravel away from his feet as he clomped along through the grass. Axel nodded, walking along in silence while he chose his next words carefully.

"So.. do you have like... a girlfriend or anything back home?" Axel cringed, hoping for a 'no'.

"Naw." Roxas responded. Axel hoped the blond didn't see the reactionary smile that engulfed his face. He quickly squashed it, though his cheeks remained pink.

"Anyone you were interested in?" he pushed again.

"Kinda." Roxas shrugged. "Her name was Namine, but I mean... she volunteered at the cafeteria and lunch was really the only time I saw her. She was one of those 'good girls'. Always doing extra stuff for school or helping the community somehow. Really kinda outta my league."

"Oh..." Axel tried to hide his disappointment.

"Never really had any luck with girls." Roxas scowled to himself. Axel prayed that was an insinuation.

"And with boys?" he asked, trying to appear witty though he was holding his breath. To his relief, Roxas chuckled nervously.

"Not really." he smiled.

"So what are you like... bi?" Axel was still trying to sound innocent. Another shrug from Roxas.

"I'm not sure." he answered truthfully. "I actually used to have a weird little crush on this guy named Leon..." his blushing cheeks were visible even in the dark. _"Ka-CHING!" _Axel's mind screamed as he resisted doing his happy dance.

"Leon, eh?" Axel grinned brightly.

"Yeah... Leon. He was this guy my brother knew. He was an assistant at the skateboard shop in Central Twilight Town for a while but it was only a summer job." Roxas muttered, still blushing.

"So at the end of the summer...?"

"He shipped back off to Hollow Bastion." Roxas grumbled. "I saw him once or twice after that when I went with Pence to visit his aunt for the holidays but I never had the guts to actually say anything to him. And one year, I saw him getting all cozy with some girl on a bench and I blew him off completely after that." he sounded a tad crushed.

"That... really sucks, actually." Axel said with honestly. "I've been there, done that."

"Haven't we all?" Roxas sighed. They continued in silence, a considerable spring in Axel's step. He glanced up at the stars, feeling like he could lift off the ground and go swimming in the tiny pinpricks of light like they were his own personal ocean of mysteries. Sure, Roxas hadn't said he liked him, but he admitted to liking a guy in the past. As far as Axel was concerned, it couldn't possibly get any better than this.

"So what's on your mind?" he asked, his voice soft as if he was talking to a sleepy child.

"You'd laugh if I told you." Roxas chuckled.

"Ah..." Axel sighed, looking to the blond. "Try me."

"Demyx." Roxas grinned.

"Demyx?!" Axel cried, nearly stopping in his tracks. Sure, Demyx was cuter than a newborn puppy playing with a bow, and Axel lived for the days his "straight" friend would demand a kiss before leaving for his next class, but he felt like his happy bubble had just been violently popped.

"Yeah. I was thinking about what he said... about his sitar." Roxas said, looking at the grass beneath his feet.

"Oh...?" Axel frowned, not sure how to take that statement.

"Yeah. He said it broke. I feel bad for him. I played flute way back in the day and when it got all bent up in my backpack, I cried for hours. Sure, I was only about five or six at the time but still...when something means that much to you..."

"Oh yeah... I remember when he got that thing." Axel said, his mood lightening again. "He played it for hours and hours."

"Nice." Roxas grinned.

"Yeah well... you wouldn't be saying that if you'd shared a dorm with him. And I didn't know him well enough back then to smack him around and tell him to stop. But I'll tell ya...once he got the hang of it, he could make that thing sing like no one else." Axel practically swooned at the memory.

"Really?"

"Really. It was incredible. I'd actually request songs for him to play before bed. Some of the stuff he composed would bring tears to the eyes of anyone who appreciated music in the slightest." Axel beamed.

"I'd love to hear some of his songs." Roxas said.

"Yeah well it's not gonna happen any time soon. They weren't careful with it on the train last year and when he was coming home from holiday break, it snapped right in half." Axel said solemnly.

"Well see, that's what I was thinking about." Roxas said, his tone mischievous.

"Whaddya mean?" Axel asked, now completely lost.

"Well... I know this woodworker back in Central Twilight Town. He specializes in difficult-to-make pieces. I was thinking I'd write him and see if he'd be willing to make Demyx a new sitar."

"But...why?" Axel feared Roxas's next words would be 'because I like him'.

"Because he's a good friend. I mean...you all are. Marluxia and Vexen, too. I haven't known you guys that long but I already feel so welcomed and safe and at home here because of you. I was thinking I'd get a little something for you guys. As a 'thank you for not beating me into the ground for being the new kid'." Roxas explained.

"You're generous." Axel observed, making Roxas shrug.

"I have tons of munny and nothing to spend it on." he said. "I figured I'd get the sitar for Demyx, and a new set of beakers for Vexen. I always see him in the bathroom scrubbing out his old ones and they're all stained up. Marluxia's gift was hard to decide on, but I've figured it out."

"Oh? And what will you get him?" Axel was intrigued.

"I have this really old longsword back home. It's in perfect condition, though it's been around about as long as this school. It has a beautiful rose right there in the hilt, made of rubies and emeralds. It's worth a small fortune, but I know Marluxia will love it for the simple fact that it's a blade with a rose on it." he smiled. Axel's heart swelled at Roxas's kindness.

"You and Xemnas have been difficult to buy for, though." he said.

"Well I know what you can get ol' Mansex." Axel said. Roxas giggled at the acronym.

"What?" he asked.

"Xem's a bit of a history nut and there's this book he's had his eye on for a while. It's about the history of Twilight Town and the worlds around it. 35 munny at your local bookstore." Axel grinned.

"That's easy enough. But why doesn't he buy it himself?" Roxas asked.

"He's a broke ass. When he turned 18, his parents cut him off completely and he's finishing school on a scholarship alone. He barely has munny for food, so he scrounges off everyone else." Axel explained. Roxas briefly remembered Xemnas picking bits of breakfast off his plate and decided that not only would he buy that book, but he'd probably get the entire "Twilight Town: A history" collection he'd been forced to read in school. He was positive that was right up Xemnas's alley.

"I'm still not sure what to get for you." Roxas mused aloud.

"Ah, it'll come to you." Axel joked when his brain spawned a brilliant plan. "Oh! I wanna show you something!" he cried, grabbing Roxas's wrist and pulling him towards the main building. Roxas was puzzled, but allowed himself to be dragged through the grass, wet with the sprinklers. "We gotta be careful. Faculty patrols the main building 'cause it's where they keep all the munny." Axel whispered when they neared the doors. He gently pushed one open, just wide enough for he and Roxas to slip through, knowing any wider would make an ominous creak that would attract the attention of anyone within a block of the building.

"But they leave the doors unlocked." Roxas said with a shake of his head.

"Naturally." Axel beamed, ushering the blond inside. He stood now in the cavernous stone corridor with the mess hall at the very end. Axel led him however, in the opposite direction, to a small wooden door that Roxas wouldn't even have noticed on any other day. As he expected, the door was unlocked. When Axel pushed it open and began creeping up the stone stairs inside, Roxas hesitated.

"I don't like closed spaces. I'm claustrophobic." he groaned quietly. Axel stopped on the second stair and held his hand out to Roxas, smiling.

"I got ya." he whispered. "You'll be fine." Roxas swallowed hard and closed the door quietly behind him, groping in the dark for Axel's hand. He found it, wrapping his short fingers around Axel's long ones, smiling to himself in the shadows at the way Axel's fingertips seemed to tickle the top of his hand. Little did he know, Axel had stopped breathing completely. Up and up the narrow stairs they climbed until Axel pushed on yet another wooden door. It swung open, revealing a starry night sky and moonlight. Axel looked over his shoulder at Roxas.

"You ready?" he smiled.

"For what?" Roxas whispered. Axel didn't respond, he only stepped forward through the doorway, Roxas in tow. When he too stepped out of the door, he nearly fell backwards back into the dark.

"Oh good god!" he cried, wrapping his arms around Axel's middle fearfully, trembling. Axel had led them to the highest point in the entire campus... the very top of the bell tower.

"It's alright." Axel soothed, holding Roxas close. "C'mon, we're almost there." he muttered, pointing to a small ladder propped up against the wall of what must have been the bells' hollow.

"You mean we have to go higher?" Roxas groaned.

"It's so worth it." Axel whispered, leading the trembling blond along the narrow ledge to the ladder, insisting that he go first. Roxas climbed the metal ladder with shaky hands and uncertainty, but when his head poked over the stone precipice, he drew a sharp breath. It was nothing but a stretch of gray stone, but what it overlooked was pure magnificence.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Axel crooned from where he leaned on the top step of the ladder. Roxas only nodded slowly. Axel pulled himself up and strode over to the edge, dangling his legs over it, marveling at how tiny the gravel walkway looked beneath his Vans.

"How'd you find this place?" Roxas breathed, taking a seat next to him.

"Snoopin' around. Doin' what I do best." Axel grinned. "Naw honestly... sometimes I just need a place to go to think. This is perfect. Look, you can even see the lake from here." he pointed to a shimmering dot in the endless forest of evergreens.

"It's amazing." Roxas agreed. They both sat in silent wonder for a momentarily, each of them staring out at a different direction. Roxas didn't think it was possible, but even the moon seemed closer from this height. The wonder of this place never ceased to amaze Axel, though he couldn't keep his eyes from flickering to Roxas every few moments, no matter how hard he tried.

"See something you like?" Roxas inquired jokingly after catching Axel's apple-green gaze for the umpteenth time.

"Ouch." Axel chuckled. "And maybe."

Roxas grinned and shot a glance at Axel from the corner of his eye, then without warning, he poked him rather violently in the side.

"Ow!" cried Axel. "Watch it." But Roxas paid him no mind as he continued to assault the redhead. Axel stood and scrambled away, half afraid he'd twitch right off the edge, and Roxas followed. Axel fought back with jabs of his own that quickly turned to tickling. Roxas happened to find an especially sensitive spot on Axel's side and with that and his nimble fingertips, he brought the redhead to his knees.

"Okay okay! Please! Stop! No more...no more!" Axel gasped through insane giggles, admitting his defeat. Roxas complied, sitting beside Axel, quite pleased with himself.

"I told you I had the mad skill." he smiled. "Now you have to tell me why Zexion owes you."

"Are you serious?" Axel groaned, remembering their conversation.

"As a heartattack." Roxas answered, crossing his arms.

"Alright..." Axel sighed. "Freshman year, Zexion got hassled more than anyone else because he refused to wear jeans that actually fit him. Since I'd managed to whoop the upperclassmen's asses and get my initiation over within a week, my dorm was a safe spot. So one night, I let Zexion come sleep with me to escape the bullying, right?" he looked to Roxas, who nodded. "Well, he decided that he didn't_ want_ to sleep on the floor, he wanted to sleep in _my _tiny ass bed with me. So I let him. And in the morning, I wake up and he's laying there next to me, cuddled up with my blanket, sucking his thumb like there's no tomorrow!" Axel chuckled.

"You can't be serious." Roxas gasped.

"Oh I am so serious." Axel responded. "So he told me he'd do anything I asked so long as I never told anyone."

"Oops." Roxas joked.

"Heh...yeah...'oops'." Axel glanced over at Roxas and found himself locked in his sapphire gaze. Even in the dark, those eyes shone with ferocity and strength Axel had only ever seen in himself. Roxas's lips were still parted slightly with a smile, and Axel completely lost control. He placed a hand on Roxas's cheek, the skin soft and warm in his palm. Roxas sighed and leaned into the touch, making Axel tremble. Gently, he pushed Roxas onto his back, never looking away from those captivating eyes. He carefully swung a leg over Roxas's waist, straddling him, but keeping all his weight in his arms as he leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Mmm... I think I like you." his voice rang in Roxas's head.

"I couldn't tell." Roxas laughed, trying to shake the nervousness. Axel's delicately shaped eyes flickered over Roxas's face.

"Is this okay with you?" he whispered, stroking the soft skin with his fingertips. Roxas only nodded, his voice lost in the wind that blew around them gently as the clouds began to slowly eclipse the moon. "You're sure?" Axel trembled. Roxas made a noise in his throat that sounded like a whimper. With trembling hands, he gripped Axel's shirt and pulled him even closer.

"Just shut up and kiss me already." he whispered breathlessly, crushing his mouth against Axel's, who's eyes widened, then closed as he braced the back of Roxas's head, collapsing on top of him. Fingers twisted in vermilion and golden-brown as nervous chuckles and gasps laced the night air with the rumbling of thunder in the distance.

Slowly, Roxas's fingers made their way from Axel's hair, down his neck, to the buttons of his white shirt. Each little white button loosened in his touch, and Roxas began pulling the shirt gently from Axel's shoulders. His fiery hair hung loosely around his pale, bared skin, and Roxas ran a fingertip from his throat down his chest, admiring the velvet quality. He brought his lips to Axel's chest, tracing the line made by his finger.

Axel began to feel small drops of rain spatter against his back, but he ignored them. Only when the rain began to absolutely pour, did he glance at the sky irritably. Roxas suddenly burst into laughter.

"What could possibly be funny?" Axel asked, still a bit breathless. Roxas giggled and stroked the side of Axel's face.

"You look funny in the rain." he murmured. Axel stood up suddenly, pretending to be offended.

"I look funny, do I?" he cried, folding his arms. This gesture only served to make his arms bulge even more in his shirt where it was hanging loosely at his elbows. Roxas stood and placed a hand on Axel's shoulder.

"It's a good kind of funny." he assured him. Right as Axel was about to protest, a bolt of lightening struck only yards away, making Roxas jump and latch onto Axel's arm in fear. Axel grinned a bit, pulling Roxas close."I think we'd better get off the roof." he murmured, feeling Roxas nod against his chest.

Axel lead Roxas back down the stairs and out onto the grounds. Kissing him fervently goodnight, he practically skipped back to the dorm, despite being soaked. He was surprised to see the light was still on when he approached the building, and took that as his invite to come parading in, and he did just that.

"Oh Xiggy!" he called to his friend as he stepped into the room, his hair a crimson mess around his shoulders. He caught sight of Xigbar fast asleep on the bed but Laxaeus and Vexen were still awake, and sitting on Vexen's bed, with their arms crossed, scowls on their faces. "Woah...bad night, guys?" Axel mumbled. Laxaeus's eyes flashed with anger and he strode forward, gripping Axel's forearm, digging his fingers as hard as he could into the bandaged flesh.

"Ah! Fuck! _Let go!_" Axel cried, wrenching his arm away, staring at Laxaeus with a mixture of fear and resentment. With an angry huff, Laxaeus brushed past him roughly and made his way into the common area. Clutching his arm to his chest, Axel stared questioningly at Vexen.

"Vex...wha..?" he whispered. The blond shook his head, silencing Axel. With sadness brimming in his eyes that were so much like his friend's, Vexen walked past Axel, dropping a tiny plastic bag at his feet. Axel felt his heart sink when his eyes settled on the gleaming piece of metal inside.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gawd, I love my job.

So basically, I've received a lot of interesting reviews that have actually inspired me to take a slightly different route with the story. I appreciate those! They help with the creative process.

Anyway, I hope I have the skill and brainpower to make this work.

If I do, you're all gonna be pretty happy with the outcome.

Here's to hopin'!

(Oh, and by the way, I use the term 'MP3 player' in all my stories because I hate, hate, _HATE _iPods, Apple and anything associated with them. iPods are teh suck. I have a Sansa. xD )

Reviews?


	12. Breakfast in bed

La di da.

I need coffee.

Blargh.

Hokay...wee gits tu tah storeh nao, yush?

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"**Breakfast in Bed"**

Roxas was soaked as he climbed the stairs of the dorm, his vision focused on the brightly lit room at the top. His shirt was dripping with his hair that no longer stood in awkward spikes, and his shoes were sloshing with water. He was sure his roommates would have something to say about his appearance but he couldn't care less.

"Hey Rucksack." Luxord snickered as Roxas stepped through the doorway, but the soaked blond ignored him.

"You get thrown in the lake or something?" Saix asked. Roxas wasn't sure if he was being malicious, or if it was his medication, but he shook his head 'no' either way. He plopped down on his bed, too elated to care if it would remain soaked for days and glanced over at Xaldin, who was curled up on his bed reading a book that bore no title on the cover. For a moment, he almost felt bad going after someone so calm and deadpan, but he remembered that it wasn't a random act of cruelty, it was a retaliation. His vision was clouded with rage, remembering Xaldin's face when he threw a water balloon over the side of the roof. Then he remembered Axel's lips and how soft they were, and how incredible they felt on his neck, and he relaxed, smiling up at the ceiling once more.

"You ever find your pictures?" Luxord taunted.

"Nope." Roxas sighed. "You ever find your favorite pack of cards?" he asked.

"You took my cards?!" Luxord cried.

"Maybe." Roxas shrugged. He heard Luxord nearly fall off the bed, pulling open the drawers of his night table, searching frantically through the papers and other random objects before he heaved a sigh, having found his cards.

"Made ya look." Roxas smiled deviantly.

"You walked right into that one." Saix muttered sleepily from his bed. As Axel guessed, he must have figured out the meds were switched and taken his sleeping pill on schedule.

"So what's got _you_ all in a good mood?" Luxord sneered grumpily. _"I'm going to make you suffer for being a jerk?"_ Roxas thought maliciously.

"Nothin', Lux." he sighed, rolling over in bed. He was sure Luxord might have said something in return, more than likely something snippy, but Roxas was already asleep.

The morning outside Roxas's window was surprisingly cool and bright, or maybe it was just his good mood. He sat up in the stiff bed and looked around at his roommates. The only one awake was Saix, who was pulling a loose gray t-shirt over his head, baggy and faded bluejeans already hung on his hips. Roxas slipped out from the warm confines of his blankets and dressed, too.

He pulled on a pair of black jeans with frayed bottoms, and a form-fitting black shirt with the words "A Perfect Circle" across the back in faded red and lyrics from one of their songs scrawled across a stone peace sign on the front. He pulled a wrist band over his hand and flexed his fingers, trying to stretch the sleepiness from them as he ran his other hand through his hair, that was now tangled to a terrible extent from never having been dried or brushed the night before. He combed it out, wincing at the knots that had formed in the soft strands. Shaking his head a few times, he let the hair fall into it's normal fashion of spikes, then looked to the mirror they all shared.

"Please move." Saix mumbled, looking somewhat hungover. His eyelids were red, the eyes themselves were bloodshot and there were dark circles under them. His whole face was gray like the clouds outside, though he seemed to be a strange shade of green at the same time.

"You okay, Saix?" Roxas put aside his anger and touched the other boy's shoulder.

"I'm on a new medication and I'm not reacting well to it." Saix groaned, pressing a hand to his stomach.

"Well if you're not reacting well to it, you shouldn't be taking it." Roxas mumbled, ready to hold Saix's long blue locks back, should he feel the need to spill the contents of his stomach.

"Yeah, tell that to my parents." Saix snapped, though he sounded more angry at the aforementioned sires than at Roxas. He grabbed a black cotton jacket, slung it over his shoulder and walked down the stairs to have breakfast, his daily energy drink in his hand. Roxas felt sorrow for Saix spread from his heart to his stomach like wildfire. He was about to follow the boy when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. To his shock, there was a dark purple and red spot on his neck, about the size of a piece of munny.

"Oh jeez..." Roxas muttered out loud, clapping a hand over it. The sound of his embarrassed realization made Luxord stir a bit, rolling over onto his back, his mouth hanging open awkwardly. Roxas was still blushing when he left the dorm. He wasn't sure if it was because the hickey was from a boy, because he had just met the boy when he kissed him, or solely because of the hickey it's self. It was like a giant neon sign pinned to his neck that said "Proud property of the sexiest boy in Theater". To his amusement, Roxas was just fine with that.

After a very brief stop at the mess hall, he tapped a student on the shoulder and ask for Xemnas's dorm. Surprisingly, the freshman was able to point him in the direction of a building at the far end of the courtyard with ease. Maybe Xemnas_ hadn't_ been bluffing about his fame. Roxas thanked the kid and hurried off to the dorm, elated when he pushed open the door and was met with a burst of warm air to melt the chilliness of morning from his cheeks. There was also, however, a terrible racket.

"What the hell is that?!" he called over the noise to Demyx, who was sitting on a chair in the common area seemingly unphased by the music bombarding his eardrums.

"Oh that's just Xemnas." Demyx answered nonchalantly.

"What's he doing up there, having a one-person moshpit?" Roxas cried, wincing.

"Uh.. no? He's resting. He listens to Slipknot in the morning. Helps him Zen out for the day." Demyx seemed puzzled at Roxas's assumption. Roxas didn't even ask. He only made his way to the staircase, identical to the one in his and every other dorm on campus, and ascended it slowly, squinting at the loud noise. Once he was at the top, he looked around at the beds, able to find Xemnas's quite easily.

There were posters all over the walls, clothes on the floor, books, pencils, drawings, CDs, wires for many an electronic and a stereo system the likes of which Roxas had only seen behind theft-proofing glass at the Great Buy in Central Twilight Town. He guessed this was where the crunching guitar chords and bleeding-throat vocals were coming from. He advanced on the enormous system slowly, though his footsteps were muffled by the music. He searched it's face full of buttons and dials and found the volume knob, turning it down until the music was just a low rumble.

"Nyaaaaaa..." groaned Xemnas from the bed beside him. He was wearing only pale gray boxers and a neon green sleeping mask over his eyes.

"I can't believe you can actually hear after all that." Roxas mumbled, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

"It's relaxing." Xemnas argued. "And who the hell are you?"

"It's Roxas." he answered. Xemnas sat up and pulled the mask off his face, peering around in the dim lighting from the window.

"Roxas? What the fuck're you doin' here?" he asked sleepily. Smiling, Roxas produced a styrofoam plate with a plastic topper. The inside of the topper was lined with steam and condensation from the full breakfast inside. Roxas pulled off the plastic and set the plate in Xemnas's lap.

"You brought me breakfast?" he asked, surprise apparent in his tone.

"Yeah." Roxas shrugged. As Xemnas began dropping bits of egg and hashbrown into his mouth, he stared up at Roxas suspiciously.

"Axel told you I can't afford to feed myself anymore, didn't he?" he asked.

"He might have mentioned it." Roxas mumbled. Xemnas shook his head and muttered something that Roxas couldn't quite catch, then swallowed a hearty mouthful and began searching in his night table for something. Roxas tilted his head a bit, trying to see what he was digging for and after a moment of shuffling, Xemnas produced a crushed pack of cigarettes, offering one to Roxas.

"Ugh, god no..." the blond muttered, tilting his head away.

"Suit yourself." Xemnas shrugged, putting one between his lips.

"You can't afford food, but you can afford those?" Roxas eyed him.

"These are gifts, thank you very much." Xemnas muttered, lighting it. Roxas watched with a sour stomach as Xemnas inhaled a puff and chewed off a bit of bacon with the same breath.

"So I take it you didn't come all the way here just to give me breakfast?" Xemnas exhaled.

"I might have." Roxas said. "And aren't you not supposed to do that?" he pointed to the cigarette.

"I'm not. But I'm me, so I can." Xemnas nodded, attacking the toast. It never ceased to amaze Roxas how much Xemnas loved quietly nibbling at the hand that fed. In this case, the administration.

"Well... I did come to ask you about something." he admitted.

"Aha... knew it." Xemnas mumbled, the cigarette in his mouth muffling his words a bit as he climbed out of bed.

"Your go-to guy... Axel...he's good, right?" Roxas asked slowly.

"Good how?" Xemnas asked, pulling on a pair of pants.

"I mean like... a good person?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. He's a pretty solid dude. Why, ya like him?" Xemnas seemed amused.

"I think so." Roxas muttered, embarrassed.

"I figured you kinda did. I mean... one doesn't let someone leave a hickey like that on their neck just for shits and giggles, yeah?" Xemnas grinned, watching Roxas clap a hand over the mark.

"You can see that?" he muttered, turning pink.

"They can see that thing from space, bro." Xemnas chuckled, slipping a hand-woven hemp anklet over his foot. "So when'd you get it?" he asked.

"Last night..." Roxas muttered through clenched teeth.

"Interesting." Xemnas responded. "Well, I commend you. He's quite a catch."

"You mean you...find him attractive?" Roxas could feel the lump in his throat getting bigger just talking about it.

"I used to." Xemnas admitted casually.

"Not anymore?" Roxas pressed.

"Not anymore." Xemnas confirmed, pulling a shirt over his head, his cigarette held out carefully in his other hand. "I've got some... new attractions."

"Like who?" Roxas was intrigued. Xemnas sat on the bed beside Roxas and brought his face close to the boy's, his amber eyes glowing like his cigarette cherry.

"You know what I think?" he whispered, his breath still sweet despite the smoke.

"What?" Roxas whispered.

"I think you ask too many questions." Xemnas smiled, patting the side of Roxas's face like one would pat a dog. Roxas stood irritably and glanced out the window.

"Am I'm doing the right thing? Like... being into him when we've barely met?" he sounded a tad sickened with himself.

"Well that depends." Xemnas answered, slipping his feet into a pair of sandals. "You don't know him that well." he pointed out.

"I know but... he seems like a good person." Roxas argued.

"He is, but we all have our flaws." Xemnas said coldly. Roxas felt his stomach tighten at the words.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Ah..." Xemnas stared up at the ceiling, puffing lightly on his cigarette. "That's really not for me to say. Why don't you go ask his roommates about 'last night'?" his eyes were narrowed almost menacingly when they settled back on Roxas. Without a word, Roxas turned on his heels and sprinted down the stairs.

"Stupid boy..." Xemnas whispered sadly to himself.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hmmm...what on earth could that mean?

Ah, suspense.

Anyway... you like so far?


	13. The Takedown

I sprained the hell outta my ankle, so I'm stuck sitting around and doing nothing all day.

Like I do anything anyway.

Well, this means I get to write more!

Hooray?

Random sidenote: Tool is the best band _EVAR!!_ - ahem-...

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"**The Takedown"**

Roxas was near breathless when he pulled open the door of Axel's dorm, looking around for any of his roommates. The fire was smoldering on the hearth and Vexen's books were sprawled out beside it, but there was no sign of anyone. The whole place was silent, there weren't even footsteps. Roxas was about to turn and head to the mess hall when he heard a stifled whimper from upstairs. Creeping carefully across the wooden floor adorned with an intricately woven rug, Roxas made his way to the stone steps and climbed them quietly. The door to the room upstairs was cracked, only slightly, and he peered in, not expecting to see what he saw.

There on one of the beds was Axel, holding his arm to his bare chest, sobbing quietly. His hair was a mess around his shoulders, the usually predominant and perfectly styled spikes had given way to a night of tossing and turning. His skin was paler than usual, and not a lovely pale like moonlight... a sickening pale. Like the swollen belly of a fish that lay dead in the stream. Tears were rolling slowly down his lovely face like the rain had the night before. After a moment of sobbing, he pulled his arm away and Roxas nearly cried out at the sight of tiny red smears marring the marble flesh. His eyes traveled from Axel's chest to his forearm, glittering with crimson. He clapped a hand over his mouth and spun around on his heel, dashing down the stairs and out the door of the dorm.

His head reeled as his feet connected with the gravel. He remembered when he used to walk in on Sora in the same sorry state. And in the back of his mind, he knew Sora would never get better. Once you have it in your head that mutilating yourself is something you just have to do, you never get it out. And Axel was the same way. Why hadn't he said anything? Why had he lied when Roxas inquired about the bandage? Is that what Xemnas meant by 'flaws'? The bells tolled heavily, but seemed so far away. As if on auto-pilot, Roxas joined the masses on their way to the first class of the day.

Moments later, he was sitting in Marluxia's lap in the run-down armchair while Demyx and Axel worked on making alterations to black robes with hoods that would cover a face with ease for when they went after Xaldin today at lunch. While Marluxia worked with skilled fingers on Roxas's tense shoulders, the blond found himself completely unable to look away from the bandage around Axel's arm. It amazed him to see how much better Axel had managed to make himself look in just a matter of 10 minutes. He looked like a whole new person. But that's what happens when you have a mental breakdown...you change.

"This look like it'll fit, Rox?" Axel smiled warmly at him, holding up the robe. Roxas only nodded and went back to chewing on his fingernails. Axel's smile faded a bit, but he continued working on the robe anyway. It took the better part of the class period, but Demyx was a master with just about anything you could use to create, and the robes were finished. Axel invited Roxas into the back room to try it on while Demyx slipped his over his head with the help of Marluxia.

"Hey.. you okay?" Axel asked in a whisper once they were out of earshot.

"Yeah. Mm fine." Roxas muttered, unable to meet Axel's eyes.

"Was... was it because I kissed you?" Axel's voice remained low.

"You did more than kiss me.." Roxas chuckled, reaching a hand up subconsciously to brush the mark on his neck.

"Yeah I did but...I mean... you were okay with it, weren't you?" Axel couldn't help feeling a bit like a rapist. His mind was put at ease when Roxas stood up on his tiptoes to plant a warm kiss on his lips. "Then what's wrong?" Axel asked. _"You're slicing yourself up like a holiday ham and there's nothing I can do about it!"_ Roxas's mind screamed.

"I'm a little tired, I guess." he muttered. Axel shrugged and slipped the robe over Roxas's head, marveling at Demyx's impeccable skill. The whole thing clung to Roxas's boy perfectly and the hood sufficiently covered his face. "What's with the dangling things?" Roxas asked, tugging at the silver drawstrings.

"Demyx flare." Axel giggled. Roxas's eyes traveled again to the bandage, and he shook his head, searching it for something to say to distract him.

"So you guys just had these things laying around?" he asked, spreading his arms and looking at the robe.

"Yeah... from a play my freshman year. Back when Xem was still in theater. And Zexion, Larxene, Xaldin, Laxaeus, Xigbar, and even Saix. And Xemnas's brother, Xehanort. But you wouldn't know him, he graduated." Axel said.

"All those guys were in Theater?" Roxas asked, shocked.

"Yep. With me, Demyx, Marluxia and Vex. We put on a hell of a show that year." Axel smiled at the memory.

"What was it about?" Roxas asked.

"To be honest, I don't really remember anything other than my lines." Axel chuckled. "I was sober for a total of about 30 minutes my freshman year."

"Way to go." Roxas glowered.

"Yeah, I thought I could find the answer to my problems at the bottom of a bottle." Axel shrugged it off. _"Now you find it at the edge of a razor."_ Roxas thought sadly.

"So...why are all the robes the same?" Roxas asked, pulling on the fabric, trying to shake the image from earlier.

"Oh. That was intentional." Axel said, reaching up into the closet near the couch for something. "We were like... a committee in the show. Uh... can't remember the name for the life of me." he grunted. Roxas turned his hands over, looking at the way the fabric retained it's shape when something caught his eye. There was a Roman numeral sewed to the inside of the sleeve. Roxas tapped Axel on the shoulder and showed it to him.

"Oh yeah! 'Organization XIII'!" he exclaimed.

"Come again?"

"That was our name in the show. Those numbers were how we could tell which robe was ours. Looks like you got Zexion's." Axel nodded at the robe, then continued reaching over his head to search the top shelf in the closet. Roxas stared back at the sleeve.

"I never learned to read these..." he muttered, looking at the number.

"Six." Axel didn't even have to look back. "Zexion was number six."

"What number were you?" Roxas asked him.

"Number eight." Axel grunted with the effort of lifting a heavy box from the shelf.

"What's in there?" Roxas eyed the box.

"The incredibly life-like spiders I mentioned earlier." Axel said with a mischievous grin. He picked one up out of the box of other random stage props and jiggled it a little, the rubber legs trembling with convincing spider qualities. Roxas felt his stomach churn.

Three class periods and nearly four hours later, Xigbar was crouched on the roof of Roxas's dorm, watching Zexion through the telescopic lens perched atop his sniper rifle.

"You're not gonna accidentally pull the trigger are you?" Roxas quaked, watching the freeshooter turn still as stone.

"I was accepted to the Academy based entirely on my unmatchable skill with precision weapons." he muttered, still looking like a statue clad in black.

"But the Academy specializes in art." Roxas argued.

"When you can hit a target the size of a bird's egg at 110 yards, it _becomes_ an art." Xigbar said sharply, silencing Roxas.

"We'd better get into position." Axel said from behind him. "We'll be in touch." he told Xigbar, holding up the walkie-talkie, though the boy didn't even look over. Roxas and Axel quickly descended the hidden ladder, and darted down the stone steps. Once Xigbar had given them the O.K, the pair scurried across the courtyard, making their way to the corridor on the north end of the main building.

"Zexion delivered the letter." Xigbar's voice crackled over the walkie talkie. He watched the blue-haired youth walk out of the mess hall and put his arms behind his head as if stretching, signaling that he'd successfully given Xaldin the phony letter, telling him to "meet the Dean in the old classroom in the northern corridor to discuss his grades". Zexion then began chewing on his thumb nail, his other four fingers sticking out. "And you guys have about four minutes."

"'Kay, we gotta move." Axel whispered to Roxas. It was only a plot for revenge, but Roxas couldn't help feeling like he was on some sort of high-tech, super secret mission. Pure adrenaline pulsed through his veins as he and Axel made their way down the dusty, unused corridor, pushing open the door of the room Axel had described when he drew the diagram. Lucky for them, the tiny closet was right next to the door, and it would be easy to get Xaldin in there without a fight.

"You got the keys?" Axel whispered to Roxas as each of them hid on opposite sides of the door. Roxas nodded and held up the keys where they shimmered in the dark, lit only by the pale rays of artificial light that trickled under the door. That light was blocked momentarily by a huge pair of black shoes that could only have belonged to Xaldin. Roxas slowed his breathing, and closed his eyes as the door opened beside him. Xaldin stepped in, looking around.

That was when Axel leaped from the shadows and threw all his weight against Xaldin's side, sending him crashing into the closet, tossing a bucketful of artificial spiders in after him. Roxas reacted just as quickly, throwing the closet door shut and locking it with hands that were strangely stable, despite the situation. The two of them stepped back away from the door, almost expecting Xaldin to come crashing through it. All they heard inside, however, was kicking, screaming, and thrashing. Once or twice, Roxas was sure he heard "Let me out! Let me ouuutt!". Roxas and Axel pulled off their hoods and grinned at each other, taking off out of the room.

"How long do you think he'll be in there?" Roxas asked as he jogged down the corridor alongside Axel.

"Not long. The maids still clean up in here and they'll hear him. Or he'll bust through the door. One or the other." Axel answered him. "Xig!" he called breathlessly into the walkie-talkie.

"You're still alive, so I trust it went well?" Xigbar's voice crackled through the static.

"That it did." Axel beamed proudly.

"Good game, Axe." Xigbar sounded impressed. "Get your ass back up here, Zex has info for ya." and the connection broke. Moments later, Axel and Roxas were climbing the metal rungs, still in those suffocating cloaks. Roxas's head poked over the edge of the roof from the opening and he saw that Zexion was already there, chuckling despite his usually moody disposition.

"You gotta see this!" he grinned, offering his hand to Roxas. Xigbar stepped back away from his rifle and Roxas leaned down, looking through the telescopic lens. At the far end of the courtyard was Xaldin, being led away from the abandoned corridor by two of the school's nurses. He was shaking harder than a tree in a hurricane. Roxas waved Axel over and let him see.

"Is he crying?!" Axel exclaimed.

"He must have been." Zexion grinned. Axel stood up and high-fived Roxas.

"Two down..." Axel said.

"Two to go." Roxas finished, looking over the edge of the roof as the nurses led a traumatized Xaldin to the hospital ward at the back end of the main building.

"So what've you got for us?" Axel asked, turning to Zexion, who grinned wide.

"Information regarding my dear, sweet friend Larxene." his tone dripped sarcasm.

"Go on..." Xigbar pressed.

"Guess what the only thing in the entire world she's afraid of is?" Zexion drug out the anticipation.

"Not a clue. Spill it, emo." Axel demanded. Zexion glared, but pulled the wrinkles out of his Bayside shirt, smoothing a hand over the band's logo, quite proud to be an 'emo' kid.

"Air raid sirens." he said finally. A shudder ran through the others.

"Who_ isn't _afraid of those things?" Xigbar gulped.

"Me?" Zexion volunteered.

"So how does that help us?" Roxas inquired. "We're not likely to get ahold of one any time soon. They're only found on military bases."

"Wrong again, Rox." Zexion chirped, holding up a finger. "_I_ happen to have one."

"A real air raid siren?" Axel asked, amazed.

"A smaller, quieter version. The one's that are hand-crank operated? They used to attach them to the tops of cars and take them up and down the streets." Zexion explained. "Anyway, my grandpa is ex-military and I have one."

"So what do you propose we do with it?" Axel asked. An evil grin flashed across Zexion's face.

"We wait till Larxene's sound asleep, then one of us will get on a ladder, stand outside her window, and start turning the crank. The second she hears that thing, she's gonna panic and come running out of the dorm. That's when we attack her with water balloons, toothpaste, silly string and toilet paper and anything else we can find of that nature. While she's disoriented, two of us will grab her arms, the others will take the legs. Then we drag her over to the statue of the school's founder at the center of the courtyard and tie her up. Snap a few embarrassing photos to hang up around school, and leave her there till morning." Zexion rattled off. The other three stared at him in amazement.

"You've put a lot of thought into this." Xigbar mumbled.

"I really can't stand her." Zexion nodded.

"It sounds kinda mean. And we can't leave her there all night." Roxas piped up.

"Larxene _is_ mean. To _everyone_, not just the new kids. She's had this comin'. And I wasn't planning to leave her there all night. We'll scare her outta bed around 5:30. Just before everyone wakes up. She wont be tied to the statue long, don't worry." Zexion said.

"Just long enough to teach her a lesson." Xigbar smirked.

"Precisely." Zexion nodded.

"So when do you think we could do this?" Axel asked.

"Tonight." Roxas said quietly. "I wanna do it tonight."

"Alright. Tonight it is. We'll meet in front of my dorm at 3:30. Everyone good with that?" Zexion looked around at Xigbar, Axel and Roxas, who all nodded. After having one last good laugh over the look on Xaldin's face, Xigbar, Zexion, Roxas and Axel departed, all of them going separate ways.

"You were right about that Roxas kid." Xigbar grinned at Axel as they made their way down the stairs. "He's a cutie."

"Shut up!" Axel chuckled, smacking Xigbar in the arm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

-evil giggle-

So, methinks I'm doing a pretty good job so far.

Whatchu think?


	14. The disquiet before the storm

Up all night again.

Just got "Breaking Dawn".

That saga's like a bad habit.

No wonder I didn't sleep.

Bah.

Moving on.

I hope I can get my tired brain to churn out something halfway decent.

Feel free to metaphorically rip my head off if I can't.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**The (dis)quiet before the storm"**

Roxas completed his long day of seemingly pointless classes and was assigned his first huge project. He was to draw something he personally felt was 'indescribably beautiful'. It was a half-assed exercise the art teacher had cooked up to help the students 'get in touch with their artistic side'. It was just an excuse to hand out the required amount of homework.

Roxas thought for a moment about having Demyx scratch something onto a piece of paper real quick. It would take him all of five minutes and would be stunning, as all of Demyx's work was. But he realized with a heavy heart that the art teacher would already be more than familiar with the eccentric blond's artistic style. That notion was only reinforced when Roxas caught sight of one of Demyx's sketches from his freshman year hanging awkwardly beside the lightswitch as he walked out of the room.

He was elated though, to settle in for dinner at the mess hall. It was the only meal of the day that didn't end with the excruciatingly loud pealing of the bells overhead. And it was the only meal at which he was guaranteed to see all the people he'd so readily adopted as his friends. Marluxia and Demyx sat together, not eating much, only chatting. Something about 'keeping their figure' by not eating too heavily after a certain time in the evening. Xemnas sat away from the group a bit, jotting down sloppy sentences in his journal and sipping on that disgusting Earl Grey tea that he loved so much. Someone had bought him dinner that night and he was happily taking bites out of a huge slab of lasagna, though he barely said more than two words to anyone. Despite acting like a loner, his overwhelming presence was felt by everyone at the table. It was just something about him.

Xigbar's eating habits reminded Roxas of feeding time at the Twilight Town Zoo, so he was careful not to glance in his direction, though the sounds were distracting, even over the chatter of the humongous hall. Axel sat across from Roxas, eating his Caesar salad at just the right pace, a can of Rockstar collecting condensation near his plate. He would look up every now and then from the swirl of green and cream in his bowl and smile at Roxas, sending shivers down the boy's spine.

Roxas almost immediately noticed the absence of Laxaeus and Vexen, Axel's other roommates. And come to think of it, Vexen hadn't been to Theater that morning, either. No one else had said anything, though it seemed to make Axel a tad nervous. Roxas figured it had something to do with what happened the night before, and decided not to raise the subject. But when Roxas let his mind wander and finally come to rest on the sight of Axel's forearm covered in crimson slices, he couldn't bring himself to cut any more of his chicken marsala, and inevitably lost his appetite. After a moment of staring bleakly at his dinner plate, pushing the contents around to make it look like he was eating, he felt his all but forgotten phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Hello?" he called into the phone over the noise of the mess hall.

"Roxas?" Olette's soft voice floated into his ear. He looked to Axel, who had a questioning look in his emerald eyes. "Olette" he mouthed. Axel nodded and leaned over to his right, joining Demyx and Marluxia's conversation. Roxas swung his legs over the large wooden bench, making his way through the milling crowd of loitering, giggling students and slipped out into the much quieter hall.

"Olette?" Roxas finally said into the phone.

"Hi Roxas!" her tone was cheerful and he was suddenly so grateful for her endless patience. "How've you been?" she asked.

"Good." Roxas half-lied. The revenge was going off without a hitch, but there was still the Axel issue.

"You making friends?" she didn't sound at all worried about being usurped.

"Yeah. A few of them. They stuck me in Theater." Roxas giggled.

"Theater? Oh wow. And how's that working out? You done any plays yet?" Olette asked excitedly.

"I haven't been here that long, Olette." Roxas murmured.

"It seems like forever." her words mirrored his thoughts.

"Yeah well...uh... so how are you guys?" Roxas tried brightening the conversation.

"Well, things are weird at TTH without you and Seifer. The halls just feel empty. The principle decided not to expel Fuu, Rai and Vivi, so they're kinda lost, too." Olette explained.

"I honestly feel a tad bit sad for them." Roxas muttered, looking through a glass display case at photos and awards of students and sports seasons past.

"I do, too. We're all wondering when your parents are gonna call it quits with this and bring you home." Olette's clear-ringing voice cut through his thoughts.

"What do you mean 'bring me home'?" Roxas inquired.

"Well, we were all kind of hoping they'd realize that sending you away like that was wrong and bring you back. Maybe send you to that nice school in Sunset Terrace. Sure it's not really that close to TTH or Setzer High, but it's a free train ride away. Much better than where you are now." her tone was optimistic.

"Home..." Roxas mused. Images of Demyx parading around in pieces of costumes and Marluxia lounging in his beaten up armchair flashed through his mind. Xemnas with his smoking habit and gross tea, Xigbar with his spastic tendencies...and of course, Axel. Suddenly, home wasn't as appealing as it had been only a few days ago.

"Yeah. Home. With your friends?" Olette could always tell when Roxas's focus was shifting. "You're still coming back for the holidays, right?" she asked. A cold sweat broke out on Roxas's forehead at the thought of telling Olette that his 'new' friends had already invited him over. And he certainly didn't want to blow off Demyx's generous offer to have him join in the lavish festivities that would be taking place at his sea-side palace this winter. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he tried to think of something to say.

"I.." he began when a hand on his shoulder saved him from answering. It was Xigbar, grinning stupidly, looking a tad drunk. So far, no one he'd encountered had been intoxicated, but Roxas really didn't put it past him. "I actually have to go." Roxas spouted into the phone.

"Aww... you do?" Olette was disappointed.

"Uh yeah...dinner is over and we have to report right to the dorms afterwards or we get written up." his stomach flip-flopped at how easily he'd told the lie.

"Oh alright then." her tone was maddeningly sad. "I'll give you a call tomorrow." she said.

"Definitely!" Roxas tried to be cheerful.

"Okay. Good bye, Roxas." she mumbled.

"Bye, Olette." he couldn't tell if his voice cracked on her name, and he really didn't want to know if it had. He glanced up at Xigbar and shrugged, then caught sight of Axel, Demyx and Marluxia walking out of the mess hall, their arms linked. He was almost certain they'd break out into a kick-line at any moment, but they were all three too full for that. Roxas giggled watching Marluxia spin Demyx around, then pull him to his chest in an over-expressive tango. His eyes wandered to Axel, who was smiling and clapping along with everyone else. Then he gently grabbed his left forearm, the pain only barely visible on his otherwise flawless face. His grimace turned to a smile again when he let go of his arm and caught Demyx as Marluxia sent the blond spiraling in his direction. Axel was back to being all giggles and grins, but Roxas's heart had sank into his shoes and not even Demyx's huge, sloppy kiss on his cheek was gonna pull it back up.

Roxas was still bummed out when Axel gently kissed him in front of the dorm and reminded him about the meeting for Larxene's comeuppance. Watching the redhead disappear across the courtyard, Roxas exhaled deeply and pushed open the door to his dorm, half-hoping to see Vexen curled up on one of the overstuffed velvet chairs. He remembered that they'd banned him from the common area and it rekindled his fierce dislike of his roommates. When he climbed up the stairs, he found that Saix was the only one in the room. He lay on his bed, wrapped up tightly in the blankets and shivering, though sweat poured down his face and chest as if he were doing intense manual labor in the heat of the day. He trembled and twitched and moaned miserably. Every now and then, his fingers would clutch the sheets around his shoulders so tightly, his knuckles would become white.

He ground his teeth and tossed and turned, a few miserable sobs escaping his pale lips every couple minutes. Once or twice, he cried out loudly in what Roxas guessed was either pain or a terrible dream. He couldn't imagine anyone actually sleeping like that, but maybe he wasn't asleep at all. Maybe he was so lost in the pain, he could do no more than close his eyes against it and whimper like a toddler receiving their first immunization shot.

After a few moments of watching him twitch and cry out, Roxas could stand it no longer. He crossed the room, pulling a black bandanna from his back pocket. There was a bottle of purified water on Saix's night table that Roxas hoped would have been colder, but it would do. He ran some water over the black fabric, most of it spilling off and onto the wooden floor, the droplets splashing onto his bare feet. Carefully wringing it out, he pressed the wet bandanna to Saix's forehead and murmured soothingly. The boy instantly stopped twitching and groaning, relaxing under Roxas's touch. His breathing became even and his eyes relaxed, taking on the look of true, at-ease sleep. Roxas laid the bandanna on Saix's forehead and went back to lay on his bed, keeping an ear out for any more spasms.

There were no other sounds that evening, save for Luxord clomping up the stairs and falling into his bed as an exhausted pile, clothes and all. Xaldin didn't come back from the hospital wing, as Roxas anticipated. Trying to keep from psyching himself out of the few hours of sleep he'd be lucky to get that night, he set his digital wrist watch for 3:00 am and rolled over, grinning to himself in the darkness.

It seemed like he'd only been asleep a moment when the shrill electronic beeping went off in his ear. Roxas glanced at the neon blue numbers on his wrist, blinking to clear the grogginess that had taken hold in the four hours of unbroken sleep he'd managed to steal. He pushed a button on the side of the watch, silencing it, and sat up in bed. The moon seemed like it was just outside the window, making the whole room frighteningly bright. Luxord's pale hair seemed to glow as blue as Saix's as he tossed and turned in his black sheets. Saix had been relatively quiet during the night, only murmuring a little bit in his sleep.

Roxas slipped out of bed silently, still wearing his clothes from the day, and pulled on his shoes. He cast a glance at Saix, worry still festering in the pit of his stomach. Saix was sleeping peacefully, only a thin layer of sweat was forming on his brow where the bandanna had fallen off. Roxas silently picked up the black cloth and dabbed at the sweat, balling it carefully at the base of Saix's neck to absorb the sweat as it trickled.

After looking after the boy that was once his target, Roxas crept down the stone steps and made his way silently across the courtyard, dodging the lazy glances of the professors, arriving in front of Zexion's dorm at exactly 3:30. Axel and Xigbar were leaning against the stone wall beside the stairs, and it looked like Xemnas had decided to join them.

"Hey!" Roxas whispered once he was in earshot. "When you'd decide to help out?" he asked Xemnas, who shrugged.

"I didn't. I was taking a walk. I was gonna head up to the bell tower and have a smoke but I saw these two sneaking around and decided to see what was up." he said, grinning in the pale light thrown off by the solitary lantern-esque lamp that was fused to the wall outside the dorm.

"Fair enough." Roxas nodded as he was pulled into a hug by Axel, who kissed the top of his head lightly.

"Did anyone see you leave?" he muttered.

"No, I don't think so." Roxas answered him. "Luxord sleeps like the dead and Saix is having a really hard time adjusting to his new meds. Even if he _did_ see me leave, he'd probably dismiss it as a hallucination when he woke up." Roxas decided to leave out the part about playing nurse.

"Great. Now we're just out here waiting on pretty boy." Xigbar grumbled, his arms crossed as he glared up at the dorm. As if to make him eat his words, the door creaked open slowly and Zexion slipped out of the illuminated crack in all his willowy glory. He was carrying what looked like a mangled hunk of metal that looked way too heavy for him to be carrying in his toothpick arms.

"We ready?" he chirped, holding up the air raid siren with incredible ease.

"If you are." Xemnas said. Zexion stared up at the senior and blinked.

"The hell are you doin' here?" he inquired.

"Enjoying the cool night breeze and helping plot the Queen Cunt's downfall." he answered with a smirk.

"Okay, Xemnas. Are you gonna help or are you gonna be in my way?" Zexion demanded. Roxas couldn't help but think of how hysterical it was to watch Xemnas's physical opposite challenging him so fervently.

"Chillax, Mighty Mouse. I'll help." Xemnas assured him. Zexion ignored the jibe and nodded, turning to the others.

"We have to go find a ladder..." Zexion began.

"There's one in the mess hall, two in the building behind it, one in the art building, one in my dorm and a gigantic one out by the greenhouse." Xemnas interrupted him, smiling to himself.

"Ookay..." Zexion muttered. "We'll grab the one in the art building. It's closest. Xigbar, Roxas?"

"On it." they answered in unison. Roxas wanted to hear the rest of the instruction Zexion was giving, but apparently it wasn't necessary.

He prided himself on being quite the sneak, but Roxas felt like a clumsy oaf next to Xigbar as they both crept across the campus. Xig was as good at being stealth as he was at shooting things.

"So... Roxas..." he said, not breaking his whisper-quiet stride. "You and Axel...?" he wasn't quite sure how to ask the question.

"We're not a couple." Roxas said through gritted teeth, making an amused chuckle rumble in Xigbar's chest.

"As if..." he muttered to himself. Roxas stopped in his tracks and glared.

"I'm sorry?" he snapped.

"Dude, the mark on your neck is the size of my thumb." he chuckled, holding up the massive digit.

"Whatever..." Roxas huffed.

"God damn, he didn't mention you were such a tightwad." Xigbar grumbled, kicking pebbles out of his way as they walked down the dimly lit corridor to the art building.

"I'm not a tightwad, I just like my personal life to remain personal." Roxas griped.

"It's okay to be an honest slut." Xigbar patted his back. Roxas choked loudly and let his mouth fall open, staring at Xigbar with anger and disbelief.

"_What?!"_ he snarled.

"Well he didn't pay you, so you're not a whore." Xigbar reasoned.

"I am not...we didn't... I didn't...he...I...I'm not..." Roxas struggled to make his mouth cooperate. "A whore or a slut or any of those things!" he cried.

"Of course not. You're just the type of person who makes out with strange redheaded boys and lets them suck the life force out of their necks." Xigbar grinned, pointing to the purple splotch on Roxas's neck, visible even in this light. "Unless of course, you actually like him."

"I do..." Roxas muttered sheepishly.

"Then you're not a slut." Xigbar nodded, walking forward again.

"Good..thank you."

"You're just realllly dumb." Xigbar chuckled.

"You just have to have the last word don't you?" Roxas was frustrated. "And why am I dumb for liking Axel?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Xigbar assured him, holding open the door to the art room. "After you."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay, so I feel like I'm really dragging the story out, but I like how it's adding layers and substance.

What do you think?


	15. Best laid plans

Having a sprained ankle phucking sux.

But I found all my old CDs and am now thoroughly reminded how much the "Gone in 60 Seconds" soundtrack totally pwns my face.

So I's all kinds of jazzed up!

Chapter 15 already, can you believe it?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**Best laid plans"**

The sound of the ladder clattering to the ground in the gravel behind him made Zexion jump. He whirled around to see Roxas and Xigbar, both winded with the effort of hauling the huge metal monstrosity.

"It's not_ that _heavy, is it?" he asked, surprised to see someone like Xigbar breaking a sweat. Roxas frowned and pointed to the hunk of steel.

"_You_ try lifting it." he growled. Zexion's small mouth twisted like he'd just licked a lemon as he considered it.

"I'll pass." he muttered, turning back to Axel and Xemnas, who now wore matching black jackets. Roxas glanced down at his watch and pressed the little button on the side, illuminating the numbers. '3:22'. Nearly time.

"Okay, so here's the deal..." Zexion's clear voice cut through Roxas's jumbled thoughts. "Roxas and Xigbar, you'll haul the ladder over to the window and I'll climb up. Once I start cranking the siren, she'll come running out. Axel and Xemnas will start pelting her with all manners of unpleasant toiletries. Afterwards, they'll grab her legs while Roxas and Xig get her feet. I'll tie her to the statue and Roxas... you have the honor of snapping the embarrassing photos." Zexion explained, pointing to each person as he said their name.

"What about her other roommates?" Xemnas mused, picking bits of lint off the jacket that was about four sizes too small. Zexion should have known better than to loan a piece of his own clothing to someone Xemnas's size.

"They sleep like the dead, don't worry. Besides, even if they hear her screaming they'll probably ignore her or come help us." Axel volunteered.

"She just makes friends everywhere she goes, don't she?" Roxas muttered grudgingly. The others only nodded their agreement.

At 3:30 exactly, Roxas was grinding his teeth with the effort of hauling the massive ladder to Larxene's dorm window, careful not to let it drag on the ground at all. They had something of an advantage, the dorm being as far away from the courtyard and main part of the school as it was, but they still weren't taking any chances.

"K, set it down." Xigbar whispered, letting his side drop into the gravel with a crunch.

"Why does this suddenly feel like a very bad idea?" Roxas whispered to Xigbar, trying to ignore the knots in his stomach that twisted tighter and tighter every time he looked up at the window.

"Probably because you've never done anything that required you to be in possession of any manly assets." Xigbar chuckled quietly, grinning at Roxas through the tiny cloud of condensation that hovered in front of his face at every breath.

"You're an ass." Roxas whispered, pressing his numb fingertips to the base of his neck in an attempt to warm them.

"Yeah, but you love me." Xigbar said smugly. Roxas really couldn't argue that one, he realized.

"If you two are done verbally copulating, I'd like you to hold the ladder still, please." Zexion huffed as he crept across the gravel, careful not to make too much noise with his oversized shoes. Roxas and Xigbar exchanged shrugs and wrapped their already frozen fingers around the cold metal as Zexion climbed the ladder, the siren gingerly cradled in one of his arms. His steps were light, but they still made an unnervingly loud metallic thud that the more panic-prone side of Roxas was sure someone heard...namely Larxene.

He held his breath as he saw Zexion brace the siren against the window and start turning the crank. The slowly escalating tone filled the air high above his head, though he was pleased to see that the sound didn't travel far. Xigbar shuddered at the sound and gripped the ladder a little tighter. It seemed as if the shudder traveled through the metal and into Roxas's own body, and he felt goosebumps rising in the cold as he tried to block out the nightmares he used to have about air raid sirens blaring out across barren wastelands of fire and shadowy demons.

Suddenly, there was a commotion inside the dorm and he saw a light come on in the window. Zexion ducked below it, nearly toppling off the ladder. For a moment, fear gripped Roxas as the thought that maybe Larxene wasn't as terrified of the sound as the rest of them. The fear melted when he heard the door of the dorm fly open. Larxene practically fell down the stone steps, her black silk pajamas shining in the dull, artificial light. She looked around wildly, shaken. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, an egg splattered against her back. The egg was followed by water balloons, toiletpaper, toothpaste bombs and some other things Roxas couldn't quite catch as he helped Zexion off the ladder.

For a brief second, he felt bad for Larxene. Then she turned on her heel and punched Xemnas in the face when he went to grab for her arms. The two boys got her restrained (barely) as Roxas and Xigbar rushed across the grass to grab her kicking legs. She thrashed in their grip as they carried her to the founder's statue at the center of the courtyard.

"I'm gonna kill you!" she shrieked. "I'm gonna find out who you are and I'm gonna rip your fucking _throat out!_" Zexion stepped forward in the darkness while she twisted wildly as they tied her tiny waist to the statue. He shoved bandanna into her mouth and wrapped a scarf around it, holding the gag in place. Her shocked face at that moment was priceless.

"Shut up, Larxene." he muttered, stepping away as Roxas took his place in front of her. Grinning to himself at the sight of his beaten enemy, he raised his Polaroid and began snapping shots at different angles.

His mind drifted back to the day she stood on the ground below his dorm, cackling when a water balloon broke open in his face, stinging the skin and hurting his nose. He pulled back the hood of his gray jacket and stared her in the face, making sure she knew who he was. Her pretty eyes scanned his face, then lit up with a furious fire as the realization hit her and she began thrashing against the ropes. Axel, Xemnas and Xigbar stood behind Roxas, their eyes narrowed.

"Initiation _this_." Roxas smirked, snapping a final shot.

Xigbar and Axel took off running in the direction of their dorm while Xemnas, Roxas and Zexion went running towards theirs. Zexion slipped into the open door and extinguished the light while Roxas and Xemnas panted up a stone path away from the building. Roxas was still giggling when Xemnas pulled him behind a bush so they could both watch Larxene screaming and twitching against the statue. A member of the faculty came running across the courtyard to untie her. The boys watched as the professor asked Larxene if she knew who did this to her. She balled her tiny hands into fists and stared at the ground.

"I have no idea. They were wearing masks." Roxas heard her grumbled through clenched teeth.

"Good girl..." Xemnas muttered.

"She won't rat us out?" Roxas whispered.

"Naw. She knows better. That's part of the one-upping." Xemnas answered him. "Let's go." he grabbed Roxas's wrist and pulled him away from the bush, creeping along the stone path. Xemnas walked Roxas to his dorm, just in case he had to throw his authority around if a hall monitor found Roxas out after curfew.

"You did good tonight." Xemnas said, raw admiration glowing in his amber eyes as he gently pressed on his nose where Larxene had nearly caused it to bleed.

"Well you guys helped a ton. I don't think I could have done it without you." Roxas murmured back where he stood at the base of the stone steps.

"That's 'cause we like you, kiddo." Xemnas grinned, pulling Roxas into a warm embrace, careful and kind. It was like hugging Olette if she was about 90 lbs heavier and a solid wall of muscle. Xemnas pulled Roxas into view and looked over his face, his eyes lingering on the cerulean irises that glistened in the dark. He leaned in as if he was going to whisper something to Roxas, and thought better of it. He only kissed Roxas's cheek, his lips just barely touching the corner of his mouth.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Xemnas muttered, his eyes locked on his shoes.

"Yeah." Roxas nodded, trying to find the reason for Xemnas's tone. Without another word, the senior turned on his heel and walked off into the darkness, his usually proud shoulders slumped forward in defeat.

Roxas tiptoed up the stairs and checked on Saix, who had gone back to shivering and sweating. He re-wet the bandanna and placed it over Saix's forehead, soothing the sleeping boy. Roxas wondered how Saix would react if he knew who was watching over him all night. He pulled his shirt off and tossed it onto the floor, laying face-down on the bed, wrinkling his nose against the smell of the pillow that he'd never get used to.

"Karma is going to bite you _so_ hard..." Roxas grumbled at a picture of his parents standing near the door of their house. Sure, things were turning out quite well, and Roxas smiled at the thought of the pictures he had tucked into his back pocket. But Axel was a cutter, Xigbar was too nosy for his own good and Xemnas...what was _his_ deal?

Roxas didn't want to think about it. He rolled onto his back and set the pillow over his face to block out the quickly intensifying light. He wasn't sure if he'd fallen asleep, or into another one of his blissfully thoughtless catatonic states, but it seemed like only moments until he felt a gentle hand on his chest. The sudden appearance of a hand on his person made him gasp, tearing the pillow from his face. He found himself staring up at Saix's shocked eyes which he now realized were a lot like Xemnas's. His pale hand hovered over Roxas's chest and he blinked.

"Uh...sorry." Saix muttered. He presented the damp bandanna. "This is yours, isn't it?" he asked. Roxas nodded. "Why was it on my head?" Saix asked.

"You were pretty bad off last night. I've only seen someone shake and sweat so much when my brother got a fever so bad he had to be hospitalized." Roxas explained. "The cool compress made you stop trembling."

"Why did you bother?" Saix asked. His tone was definitely one of surprise.

"Because." Roxas answered. "You already got _yours_."

"So that _was_ you who switched my meds!" Saix's eyes flashed with anger. Roxas shrugged.

"You pelted me with water balloons and toiletpaper." he defended. Saix's eyebrows shot up into his tousled sky-blue hair as he thought about this.

"You're right." he said, agreeing. "Good game, newbie." he patted Roxas on the shoulder, turning on his heel to retreat to his bed. He stopped suddenly and turned around, holding the bandanna to his chest. "You uh... wouldn't mind if I kept this for a few days? Till I get used to the meds?" he asked sheepishly.

"Go for it." Roxas yawned, scratching the back of his head.

"Thanks." Saix sighed, looking down at the black and white fabric in his hands. "I have a feeling I'm gonna need it."

"More than likely." Roxas agreed. Saix tossed the bandanna onto the bed and began pulling his pajama shirt over his head, preparing for the day's classes.

"Oh...and Roxas?" he murmured over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Touch my meds again and I'll have to kill you."

"Dually noted." Roxas chirped, saluting Saix with a grin before falling back onto the pillow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

By now, either half of you hate me, or half of you want to give me a giant, squishy sugar cookie with "yoo rox mah sox" spelled out in blue icing.

Either way, I'm still having way more fun with this than I should be.

Someone stop me, quick!!

Haha.


	16. You can't save everyone

Another night of no sleeping.

On the downside: my eyes feel like they've been dipped in bleach and laid out in the sun for a few hours and the only reason I can even keep my head up at this point is because of the massive amounts of caffeine in the Wal-Mart brand of soda.

On the upside: I get to write more! Hooray!

You're all like "I don't care? Lulz."

So we're gonna move on now, kay?

Kay.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**You can't save everyone"**

After assuring Saix that he'd no longer be tampering with anything the blue-haired boy put into his mouth, Roxas had taken to staring up at the stone ceiling. And, like anyone who hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep, he was out before he even realized he'd closed his eyes. He was woken yet again, by someone pushing his shoulder roughly. He sat up in bed and glared at his assaulter. It was Luxord. Roxas wondered if he'd overslept, but the look in Luxord's gorgeous blue eyes was certainly more urgent than missed classes.

"Wass goin' non?" Roxas mumbled, still half asleep.

"It's Saix!" Luxord cried. "He's in the hospital ward."

"What?" Roxas's voice was strained with the remnants of sleep.

"He collapsed! Right here in the room. I carried him almost the whole way there when some nurses came out to get him but..." the trembling boy was at a loss for words.

"Is he alright?" Roxas cried, jumping out of bed, pulling his shirt back over his head.

"He's...breathing." Luxord volunteered, wringing his hands with sorrow and worry.

"That's it?" Roxas felt sick.

"He hasn't opened his eyes. It's that damn medication! It's made him so sick..." Luxord looked on the verge of tears.

"Why'd you come tell _me?_" Roxas asked, pulling on Xemnas's coat to keep out as much of the bone-chilling cold outside as was possible. Luxord's eyes darted around the room, then settled back on the blond.

"I know you were taking care of him last night. I figured you'd want to know if something like this happened." he explained. "Besides, all his other friends are in class already."

"Thank you." Roxas muttered, slipping past the trembling Luxord to make his way down the stairs and out the dorm.

It was bitterly cold outside, as Roxas anticipated. Even the heavy coat wasn't enough to keep out oncoming winter's biting chill. There was a frigid breeze blowing across the grounds that nipped at Roxas's nose, cheeks and ears as he made his way to the hospital ward with Luxord behind him, wearing only holey jeans and a thin t-shirt. Roxas couldn't help thinking he was insane until he realized that Luxord was probably raised somewhere around here and was used to this kind of weather. Just as Roxas was ready to fall to the ground and curl up into a trembling ball, Luxord would probably die of heatstroke in Central Twilight Town.

"You're not cold?" Roxas asked, trying to keep himself warm with conversation.

"Naw. It doesn't really get cold here until the snow starts to fall." Luxord said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Snow?!" Roxas cringed.

"Yeah. It usually snows over holiday break." Luxord was absently staring around as he walked. The words 'holiday break' rang in the back of Roxas's mind and he remembered Olette's words, asking him if he'd be coming home for that time. Rising above her delicate voice in his memory was Demyx's eager tone, inviting him so graciously into his home for apple cider and expensive gifts. He opted to focus on the arctic conditions that surrounded him to block out the rising voices in his mind as he pushed hard on the massive wooden door of the hospital ward.

"I'm sorry, but you can't be in here. Your classes are in session." A plump nurse immediately put her hand in front of Roxas's face, demanding he leave. Roxas wrinkled his nose irritably and decided to play the only card he really had.

"I'm a friend of Xemnas's. So is he.." he said, pointing over his shoulder at Luxord. "We're here to see Saix." Roxas crossed his arms defiantly, hoping Xemnas really had as much pull over the administration as he claimed. The nurse narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her full hips.

"You're just a student throwing his name around." she accused.

"That's why I'm wearing his jacket?" Roxas replied smoothly, despite having gone as cold as the air outside. He pulled on the collar to expose the tag with "Xemnas" scrawled across it in permanent ink, the script careless. She glared at the tag through the dim lighting of the ward and huffed, turning on her heel and motioning for them to follow her.

"Nice one..." Luxord whispered quietly to Roxas as they made their way down the massive hallway lined with doors. The nurse stopped in front of an open door and pointed inside.

"He's in there. Make it quick." she snapped, turning away. Roxas and Luxord crept slowly inside, their footfalls echoing loudly off the stone floor. All the modern medical technology looked so terribly out of place in the medieval-looking room. Roxas thought there should be a mace where Saix lay in his sterilized, starched and bright white bed. And that there should be a torch instead of fluorescent lighting.

"Saix?" he whispered. There was no movement from the boy. "Saix!" Roxas said a bit louder. At this, Saix's eyes fluttered open.

"R...Roxas?" he mumbled. Roxas flew to his bedside and grabbed his pale hand, running his fingertips over the back of it gently, almost afraid he'd snap the thin fingers if he pressed any harder.

"What happened?" he demanded. Saix groaned and looked away.

"It was... m...my meds." he whispered.

"Your meds? What do you mean your meds? What happened, did you take too many, take the wrong ones, what?" Roxas demanded, holding his hand a little tighter.

"No." Saix breathed, coming around a bit more. "I took the one that made me so sick. Just like the label said. They're still not sure if it was an allergic reaction or...or what." he murmured, shaking his head as if trying to send the haze flying out one of his ears.

"What's the medication even _for?_" Roxas asked. Saix sat up a little in bed, his fingers curling around Roxas's hand that was still a bit cold from being outside.

"It's to nullify a side-effect from another medication." Saix explained. Roxas suddenly felt like tearing out Saix's parents' throats.

"How many meds do you take, Saix? Honestly?" he whispered. There was silence as Saix did the math.

"About... 25 different prescriptions?" he said, making Luxord cringe and Roxas flush with anger.

"Why do you take so many?" he asked.

"My parents make me. It started out with three or four for things like ADHD and headaches. Then came the side-effects and pills to get rid of those. And then all the additional issues the psychiatrist was 'positive' I had. You know I've been diagnosed as a borderline personality, manic depressive, bi-polar class A sociopath with moderate to severe schizophrenia?" he looked to Roxas with laughter in his eyes.

"That's insane." Roxas muttered.

"Tell me about it." Saix looked back to the ceiling. "And I tried telling them that I only see things when I'm on the purple pill and I'm only depressed when I'm on the red one and that my white-ish yellow sleeping pill leaves me in such a haze that I don't know if I'm coming or going. But they don't listen to me..." he muttered sadly. Roxas squeezed his hand.

"What's this new one for? The one that's making you so sick?" he asked, almost fearing the answer.

"For the fainting spells the bi-polar meds can cause." Saix said. "And you know what one of the side-effects of that new pill is?" he asked with dark amusement.

"Dare I ask?" Roxas ventured.

"Fainting." Saix chuckled.

"Son of a bitch." Luxord scoffed. Roxas had almost entirely forgotten about him.

"How long are you going to be in here?" Roxas asked Saix, seeing that the fat nurse had reappeared at the doorway and was about to kick them out.

"Until I can go more than ten minutes without slipping into a coma, vomiting or having a seizure." Saix answered casually. Roxas put his forehead to Saix's pale hand, fighting back tears of anger and sadness.

"Alright." he muttered. "Alright well I'll be in here to see you when I can." he promised.

"Please do." Saix begged. "The nurses are terrible company. And they've taken your bandanna."

"I'll get it back for you." Roxas assured him. He stood from the chair he was seated in beside the bed and leaned over Saix, hugging him gently. He suddenly seemed so frail and breakable, like an antique doll or a priceless vase. Roxas carefully wiped away the thin film of sweat beading on Saix's forehead with the sleeve of the jacket. "Get some rest." he whispered, but it seemed that Saix had already drifted back off.

Roxas and Luxord left the hospital wing in silence, not even bothering to tell the fat nurse they were leaving. Luxord went off back to the dorm, not caring if he missed his classes, and Roxas headed to the Blackbox. He was still fighting tears when he pushed the doors of the Blackbox open roughly, sending a wave of cold air over Marluxia and Demyx where they sat on the black wood, cutting up strips of fabric either for their own entertainment or an upcoming production that Roxas hadn't been made aware of.

"Hey Rox!" Demyx cried cheerfully. "You're late. What's the holdup?" he asked, standing to brush bits of fabric from his front. Roxas smiled weakly at him and Marluxia, but said nothing and walked straight into the back room. He opened the door to find Axel sprawled out as usual on the couch, this time asleep. Roxas ignored the bandage wrapped around Axel's arm and climbed onto the couch, laying down on top of him, burying his face in his chest.

"Woah...hey, Rox." Axel muttered sleepily, looking down at the top of Roxas's spiky hair.

"He's in the hospital ward." Roxas whispered into the soft, threadbare cotton of Axel's vintage 'Jefferson Airplane' t-shirt.

"Who?" Axel asked, wrapping an arm around Roxas, holding him closer despite how cold he was from the frigid outside air.

"Saix." Roxas murmured. "His medication nearly killed him."

"For fuck's sake..." Axel groaned. "I knew this would happen someday."

"He's on like... 25 different meds." Roxas said.

"That's just about the sickest thing I've ever heard. Is he okay though? Have you been to see him?" Axel began running his fingers through Roxas's hair.

"Yeah, I saw him. He looks like a comatose patient in the trauma unit of the hospital in Central Twilight Town where my aunt used to work." Roxas felt another wave of grief rising inside his chest.

"That bad huh?" Axel asked softly and Roxas nodded.

"He keeps slipping in and out of consciousness." he sniffled.

"Poor kid." Axel's stomach churned at the thought of his (albeit slightly insane) friend having to suffer needlessly.

"I wish I could help him." Roxas mumbled. Axel breathed deeply for a few moments, choosing his words carefully while the scent of Roxas's shampoo bombarded his nose.

"You can't save everyone." he said finally, through the fog of lavender and honeysuckle that seemed to rise from the boy in his arms. Roxas cringed.

"I'm not trying to save everyone." he said, readjusting himself so he could look right into Axel's shining emerald eyes. "Just the people I care about."

"You care about Saix?" Axel asked.

"I do. He was a jerk in the beginning, but he's still a person." Roxas whispered.

"And me?" Axel inquired, meeting the cold, blue gaze, and Roxas froze. For the first time in his life, he felt compelled to say the three sacred words he told only to his family... to someone else.

"I..." he murmured. "I do. I do care about you." he trembled. Axel smiled softly, satisfied with that answer. Roxas pushed himself up on his elbows and leaned up, kissing Axel softly in the quiet, dim light of the room. Axel smiled gently against Roxas's chapped lips and wrapped his arms around his back, holding him tighter as the kiss deepened. Finally, he pulled away.

"Does this mean you'll be my boyfriend?" he asked quietly. Roxas wrinkled his nose.

"Do I have to?" he asked, never liking the title of 'boyfriend', be it to a girl or another boy.

"You don't _have_ to." Axel admitted. "But it would make me really happy." he whispered. Roxas bit his lower lip and sighed.

"Alright." he said finally. "I'll be your boyfriend." he said, not a trace of unwillingness in his voice. Axel's smile cut through the darkness with sheer, happy brilliance.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Awwwww! :3

Not sure I liked this chapter but eh...

And oh yes... one more thing:

I know a lot of you have me on your story alerts (and for that, you are my new favoritest peeps in the whole world wide web) so when you open your email it's like "8 updates from Rulisu, ftw?!" but I am still without internet and can only manage to get my sorry ass to the library every few days to post new chapters and such.

So I'm sorry for the overload of updates all at once.

And uh...yesh...reviews?


	17. Drink tabs and tardy bells

So...

I've been pretty creatively blah for the past few days and I have no idea why.

But a late-night cigarette and A Perfect Circle's "eMotive" album have given me all the motivation I need to keep going.

Huzzah!

And for the first time in my life, I actually know how I'm going to end a story! So I'm not just making this up as I go along anymore. It's a huge relief.

Moving on...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**Soda tabs and tardy bells"**

Roxas lay there against Axel's toned body, listening to the rising and falling of the boy's chest beneath his head. He smiled slightly when he realized Axel's heartbeat kept perfect time with all his favorite songs. He let his fingertips drag lazily across Axel's collarbone, covered in soft gray cotton, sighing contently. It had been so long since he'd felt that safe and secure. Laying there with Axel's arms around him in the dim light, he felt like he could take on the whole world, yet he was perfectly fine with doing nothing but this.

"Roxas?" came a sudden whisper. Roxas opened his eyes to see that the room had been flooded with light. He glanced at Axel and smiled at his sleeping face, then looked over his shoulder to see a silhouetted figure he recognized as Demyx in the doorway. Carefully shifting his weight so he wouldn't disturb Axel, Roxas slipped off the couch and into the main theater.

"What's up?" he asked, taking a seat in Marluxia's lap.

"What's the deal with you and Axel?" Demyx asked, sounding like a giddy teenage girl. Roxas shrugged, though found himself blushing. Marluxia chuckled and wrapped his arms around Roxas's middle, resting his head on his shoulder.

"You liiiiike him." he taunted the blond.

"So?" Roxas muttered.

"Oh! Oh! I _so_ knew it!" Demyx jumped up and down. "Pay up, Marly!" he cried, thrusting a hand out. Marluxia groaned and shifted beneath Roxas to reach into his pocket. Instead of producing munny, he pulled out a handful of colorful tabs that must have been collected off energy drink cans.

"That's the currency among dummies?" Roxas joked, watching Marluxia reluctantly drop the bright pieces of metal into Demyx's open hand.

"I'm making a belt out of 'em." Demyx explained, putting the tabs in the pocket of his tight gray jacket that was decorated with little white lightening bolts.

"And Marluxia?" Roxas inquired.

"A belt as well. It's a race to see who can get theirs done faster. I've already beaten him once." Demyx grinned, pulling up his jacket and bright red shirt to expose his rather slim middle. In the belt loops of his tight black jeans was a multi-colored string of what Roxas couldn't believe was actually energy drink tabs.

"Impressive." Roxas muttered, falling back against Marluxia's chest, twisting his fingers in the boy's soft hair absently.

"Yeah well, there's not much else to do around here." Demyx groaned, taking a seat on the dirty floor in front of Roxas. "So what's it like dating a cutter?" he asked with innocent curiosity. The bluntness of the question made Roxas choke on his own spit.

"Excuse me?" he gasped.

"Everyone knows he's a cutter." Marluxia said.

"And no one cares?" Roxas was becoming angry.

"We care. Believe me, we care. We've been trying to get him to stop for years, but he won't do it. Not for any of us." Demyx said, pulling on the bright neon yellow shoelaces of his massive white and purple Vans.

"Why not?" Roxas squeaked.

"He always comes back with 'It's my arm, I'll cut it if I want to'." Marluxia shrugged.

"Well that's stupid." Roxas grumbled, pulling his feet up onto the battered armchair to cuddle closer to Marluxia.

"Axel's logic is a tad bit fuckered, but whaddya do?" Demyx muttered.

"But... I mean...why?" Roxas was at a loss for words.

"He won't tell any of us why. We know he's not doing it for attention like some people do, because he never shows off his cuts. And he wears long sleeves in the dead of summer to hide the bandages and scars. He just...went off the deep end one day." Marluxia mused.

"And you guys have no idea what happened?" Roxas was unconvinced.

"Nope. He broke down once and told Vexen a bit about why he does it, but Vex must have said something wrong because Axel clammed up and hasn't said another word about it to anyone." Demyx said.

"And that's why Vexen's not here? Because Axel cuts?" Roxas assumed.

"Kind of. See, Axel will have these bursts where he does it, and then he doesn't do it. Vexen and Laxaeus refuse to speak to him when he cuts. They must have found out he was back to doing it." Marluxia was running his fingertips along Roxas's arm absently.

"He's never... he's never almost died, right?" Roxas's stomach was in knots at the thought.

"Naw. He doesn't cut that deep unless it's something really, _really_ bad. Usually, he just does a lot of shallow ones. It kinda sucks for him though, because he does bleed a lot." Demyx wrinkled his nose.

"What do you mean?" Roxas eyed him.

"Axel has a condition." Marluxia explained. "His veins are closer to the surface than they should be. He's almost hem...hemo...whatever. He bleeds too much." he waved his hand.

"Fantastic." Roxas slumped.

"Maybe you can convince him not to cut any more." Demyx chirped.

"What makes you think_ I_ can convince him?" Roxas whispered.

"He actually gives a damn about what you think?" Marluxia answered him. "It's worth a shot."

"It is..." Roxas mused.

Before Demyx could open his perfectly shaped mouth to say something, the door of the back room creaked open slowly and Axel stumbled out of it, squinting his eyes in the glare of the house lights. The trio froze as they watched him make his way over, praying he hadn't heard them talking. He stood in front of Marluxia's chair and stared down at the pair curled up on it.

"Marluxia." Axel said, his tone harsh.

"Axel, look...I..." Marluxia went to explain.

"I don't want to hear it. Just know that from now on, if you want to borrow Roxas for cuddling, you have to ask." Axel beamed. Roxas sprang up from the chair and wrapped his arms around Axel. Part of him wanted to scream at him, another part wanted to hold him like that forever to keep him from ever hurting himself again. But the majority of him was happy Axel was oblivious to the conversation that had just taken place.

"Awwwww... so cute!" Demyx chirped, rising from the floor and plopping down in Marluxia's lap, throwing his arm around the boy's shoulder. Roxas was beginning to wonder if Marluxia was ever without someone sitting on him.

"You guys are ones to talk." Axel said, watching Marluxia press the side of his face against Demyx's hair, his arms snaked around the boy's waist. Demyx was reaching behind him, gently stroking Marluxia's soft hair, staring at Axel with a confused expression.

"What're you talkin' about?" he asked. Axel shook his head and looked down at Roxas.

"You ready to go to your art class?" he smiled sweetly.

"Let me guess...the bell's about to ring." Roxas said. Sure as the setting sun, the bells began tolling in the distance. "How the hell do you do that?" Roxas looked up at Axel questioningly.

"I'm awesome." was Axel's answer as he kissed Roxas firmly, gripping the boy's shoulders with long white fingers while Demyx and Marluxia began taunting them like children on the playground.

"Hey. Can it, blondie." Roxas grinned over his shoulder at Demyx.

"Oh you can talk!" exclaimed Demyx, pointing to Roxas's head.

"It barely counts as blond, thank you. In fact, on the boxes of hairdye in the store, this is referred to as 'Honey brown'." Roxas shot back in a matter-of-fact voice. Demyx crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip in a pout.

"Class." Axel reminded Roxas with a smile. Though it was damn near physically painful, Roxas pulled away from Axel and picked up his ratty brown backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. He gently hugged and kissed Marluxia and Demyx in a way that anyone but the four of them would have considered overly friendly, then headed for the door.

"Later guys." he said, his hand on the faded black wood. "I have to go draw something 'indescribably beautiful'." he grumbled to himself.

"You gonna draw me?" Demyx joked, slipping off of the chair and laying on the ground in a manner that would have been provocative if it had been anyone but him. A spark of inspiration flashed behind Roxas's eyes.

"You know... I just might." he said honestly, gently rubbing the spot below his ear as he always did when he was in deep thought.

"Told you he wanted me." Demyx grinned up at Axel.

"Keep dreaming." Axel scoffed.

"Demyx!" Marluxia cried from his spot on the chair. "What about me?"

"Oh Marly..." Demyx swooned, hopping up from the floor and back into Marluxia's lap, cuddling up against the other boy's chest.

"You are so damn deep in the closet you're finding Christmas presents. You know that, don't you?" Roxas laughed, watching Demyx pepper Marluxia's cheek with kisses.

"I'm not gay, I'm..." Demyx protested.

"'Comfortable with your sexuality'." Marluxia, Roxas and Axel said in unison.

"Yeah right." Axel chuckled. Demyx frowned and leaned his head back against Marluxia's shoulder.

"So what does that make _you?_" Roxas asked Marluxia, realizing he'd never really been told.

"Bi." Marluxia answered with a shameless grin. The bells began ringing again in the distance. "And that..." Marluxia pointed to the doors. "Makes _you_ late."

"What about you guys?" Roxas asked, looking around.

"I just don't give a damn and they have like.. three consecutive classes in here." Axel said.

"And the best Xemnas could do for me was one?" Roxas groaned, not caring that he was now late.

"You still have to have something of an actual education. Xem might have ultimate power over the administration, but he's yet to conquer the school board." Axel sat down in front of the armchair, reaching back to absently fondle Demyx's bright shoelaces.

"Not that it's not impending." Roxas said.

"You never know with that guy." Marluxia agreed.

"Think he can have this tardy waved?" Roxas inquired.

"You could set the entire art building on fire and he could have it waved." Demyx chuckled.

"It's tempting..." Roxas growled, pushing open the door ever so slightly to peer out at the gray.

"Don't go burnin' shit. That's my job." Axel smiled. Roxas shrugged and began making his way out into the dreary, arctic morning. He'd only taken a few steps away from the Blackbox when he whirled around and pushed the doors back open.

"One more thing!" he cried. Axel and Demyx bore twin looks of surprise, though Marluxia was unphased. "We're all gonna go see Saix in the hospital ward at lunch, okay?" Roxas said.

"Saix is in the hospital ward?" Demyx sounded more amused than upset.

"I'll explain later." Axel said. "Class." he insisted, looking to Roxas expectantly.

"Alright, alright...I'm gone." Roxas grumbled, turning on his heel again to leave.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Demyx and Marluxia are so damn cute.

Anyway...

I'm getting my internets back!!

Oh happy day!

Which means I can actually start responding to reviews!

Which means you should totally leave one.

It's the blue button on the bottom of your page. It's not gonna eat you.


	18. Bold faced lies

This is so getting completely out of hand.

I have like... a zillion chapters already and we're actually only about halfway through.

(Probably because my chapters are short, but I can't deal with 20 + pages per chapter. I lose my focus.)

But it'll start picking up, I promise.

Maybe out of hand is good?  
I'd like to think so.

I love this story like it was my own dysfunctional, ADHD ridden brat.

I almost don't want it to end.

Oh dear.

Anyway, Chapter 18, here we go.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**Bold-Faced Lies"  
**

The rest of the day had been boring and full of teachers with bogus assignments and other students with attitude problems. So had the next few weeks. Every day Roxas, Axel, Demyx, Marluxia and even Xigbar sometimes, would visit Saix in the hospital ward. The bandanna had been returned and the fat nurse was never seen or heard from again on the Academy's campus. Xemnas's doing, no doubt. While Roxas hadn't seen very much of the aforementioned future dictator, he was enjoying his role of Axel's very well kept boyfriend.

He'd seen same sex couples catch more than their fair share of hell at Twilight Town High from some of the more close-minded students. But at the Academy, no one even gave them a second glance when Roxas would sit beside Axel in the mess hall, holding his hand and giving him quick, timid kisses on the cheek. Either it was more widely accepted here, or no one dared to give flack to anyone in Xemnas's group of friends. Roxas wasn't going to test his luck by asking around.

His classes were simple, despite that looming art project and he'd called off taking his revenge on Luxord after the incident with Saix and his medication. Xaldin had come back from the hospital ward and returned Roxas's pictures, patting him on the back for having the nerve to stand up to him, and Larxene would nod to him out of respect when they passed each other daily heading in opposite directions to their 4th hour class. He never put up the Polaroids of her embarrassing fall from grace.

The calls from home were coming more and more often, mostly from Olette who was still demanding to know whether or not Roxas would be coming home for the two week break. He was finding it hard to stave off the growing urge to lie, so he continued to tell half-truths by saying "I don't know". Which was true, he didn't really know for sure, though he had an idea. That idea was made all the more prominent the day Demyx showed off photographs of his massive beach house. Surprisingly however, whether or not he'd be lying to his friend of six years was set on the back burner whenever Roxas glanced at his boyfriend of a little more than a month.

Vexen and Laxaeus still refused to talk to Axel or sit with the regular group at any of the meals. The only time Roxas even saw Vexen was when he'd manage a brief conversation with the boy on their way to the bathhouse, with Roxas never having the courage to ask about what Axel had revealed as the reason he cut. Axel seemed uneasy at every meal, as if he was certain Roxas would inquire as to why two of his friends were no longer present. He seemed even more uneasy when Roxas never asked. It hurt Roxas, to know that Axel was silently lying to him every time he wore a long sleeved shirt or replaced his bandage without opening up to him.

On a particularly bone-chillingly cold afternoon, Roxas was sitting on his bed, wrapped up in Xemnas's jacket and two of his own while he drew concept sketches for what would be the 98 of his final art grade for the semester. Grumbling to himself and swearing whenever he couldn't get one of the lines just right, he failed to notice the footsteps of someone coming up the stone steps. Only when the person cleared their throat did Roxas look up. And when he did, the room was filled with his shrill cry of excitement as he leaped off the bed and nearly knocked the person over with a hug.

"Saix!" he cried. "You're out of the hospital! How do you feel?" he asked, loosening his grip.

"Pretty damn good. I haven't taken any of my regularly prescribed medication in almost three weeks and I think I finally have it all out of my system." Saix answered with a smile.

"Don't tell me you plan to go back on them." Roxas glowered. Saix lowered his eyes and sighed.

"I have to, Roxas. My parents will shoot me if I don't." he mumbled.

"Your parents are miles away." Roxas reminded him. "Come on, don't do this. You finally have your coloring back, what little bit that may be."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Saix asked, looking hard at Roxas. The smaller boy thought for a moment, then crossed the room and began scooping up Saix's pill bottles in his arms.

"What the hell are you doing?" Saix looked on, quite puzzled.

"Follow me." Roxas grunted, carrying an armful of orange bottles down the stairs. His eyebrows quirked, Saix followed Roxas down the stone steps and into the tiny bathroom on the far side of the common area. His puzzled expression melted as he watched Roxas dump the bottles into the sink, picking one up and opening it. With his hand poised over the open toilet, Roxas looked to Saix.

"You want to do the honors?" he asked.

"I don't think I want to do it at all." Saix said, becoming queasy. "Taking these things is all I've ever really known."

"Well, you've been off of them for three weeks now..." Roxas said, tilting the bottle and watching the blue capsules slip into the water with tiny splashes. "You obviously don't need them."

"So what do I do about my parents?" Saix inquired, watching Roxas reach for another bottle.

"You lie. You pick up your prescriptions as usual, tell your parents that they're working, and you come straight from the hospital ward to the bathroom and flush 'em." Roxas said, dropping enormous white pills into the porcelain bowl.

"And when I go and see them?" Saix demanded.

"Act doped up, and slip them under your tongue if they're the type that watches you take them. Go into the bathroom and spit them out." Roxas twisted off the cap of yet another bottle.

"Something tells me you've been on meds you didn't like." Saix mused, taking a bottle of his own.

"Not me. My friend Hayner. For his anger issues." Roxas chuckled, dumping Saix's little white sleeping pills into the toilet. Saix stared into the bowl at the pasty mess as the medication disintegrated. Some of the white pills still floated on the surface and the blue was beginning to bleed from the capsules. With a shaking hand, he twisted off the child-proof cap and stood beside Roxas. As he emptied the bottle of his manic depression medication, he'd never felt more free. A small smile tugged at the corners of his soft lips.

"Feel better?" Roxas asked, watching Saix out of the corner of his eyes.

"I do." Saix admitted, grabbing another bottle from the sink. He tore off the cap and emptied the little red pills into the toilet. Roxas stepped back and watched as Saix tossed bottle after bottle into the water. When all 25 bottles were emptied, Saix took one last look, then flushed the monkey that had been on his back for as long as he could remember.

"Don't know what I'm gonna do now." he said after watching the pasty, multicolored swirl disappear into the hole at the bottom.

"What do you mean?" Roxas asked.

"Well..." shrugged Saix. "Every great piece of writing I've ever done, I did loaded up on meds."

"Looks like you're gonna have to find a new niche." Roxas joked.

"Maybe." Saix looked from the now clear water to the boy standing beside him. "I can't thank you enough, Roxas." he said.

"For what?" Roxas stared back.

"For being the one to have the balls to look me in the face and say 'this is wrong and it needs to change'." Saix said quietly.

"No one else ever did that?" Roxas asked.

"A few people have said that I should stand up to my parents. Axel actually went off on my mom once. That's why he's not allowed at my house anymore." Saix nodded.

"What did he say?"

"He called my mom a bi-polar alcoholic snob and told her she was pumping me full of medication to make up for her shitty parenting skills." Saix chuckled.

"Wow. Not too far off the mark, was he?" Roxas grinned.

"Spot on, actually. Not bad for a 12 year old, I must say." Saix scratched his head. "But you're the only one who's ever had the nerve to start flushing my meds." he looked to Roxas.

"You're the one that actually flushed them, keep in mind." Roxas said sheepishly. Saix scoffed and pulled Roxas into a tight hug.

"Thank you." he whispered.

"You're welcome." Roxas murmured. When Saix pulled away, Roxas pointed at him. "But you've had it in you all along." he added.

"Whatever you say, chief." Saix grinned, patting his back.

Saix left to spend his first medicinal haze-free afternoon in a long time out in the courtyard. Roxas looked at him like he was crazy when he left the dorm in shorts and no jacket, but again...Saix probably grew up here. The thought of what Central Twilight Town would look like right now brought a cloud of sadness to block out the light of his afternoon with Saix.

At this time of year, there would be a slight chill in the air. Just enough to make you want to take off your jacket and run in the cool breeze, but not enough to make you shiver. There'd be no snow Christmas morning, but there would probably be a cold rainstorm that would keep families around the fire well into afternoon. He thought of Olette and how much she looked like a doll wrapped up in her thick wool coat and scarves, her cheeks tinged a light pink in the cold. He remembered how Hayner and Pence loved wrestling in the piles of leaves the neighbors would leave in their front yards.

Right about now, his mother would be making those cookies that no one could put a name to. The ones that crumbled when you touched them and seemed to literally melt in your mouth, the powdered sugar sticking to your tongue in a film. His dad and Sora would be gripping the cushions on the worn out old couch, watching the live Struggle Championships where it was being broadcast from the stadium they'd just built. Roxas realized that this year, he wouldn't be sitting at the table eagerly awaiting the cookies while he sketched the beautiful things he saw just outside the window. His phone rang, jostling his thoughts.

"Hello?" he mumbled into the receiver.

"Yo!" Pence's voice chirped.

"Oh. Hi, Pence." Roxas said, scratching the back of his head.

"What's been up with you? You haven't called us in ages!" Pence exclaimed.

"Like... two days." Roxas corrected him.

"Well yeah but...you know." Pence whined.

"I've been busy with class. They love to really pile on the homework right before break." Roxas lied.

"Speaking of break, everyone's wondering if you're coming home. Olette had me call since she's at a doctor's appointment and Hayner's grounded again." Pence said.

"Of course he is." Roxas chuckled. "So what do you want to know?"

"Olette said not to let you off the phone till I find out if you're coming home for the break. So have you figured it out?" Pence insisted. A lead weight dropped into Roxas's stomach. He hadn't mentioned Demyx's invite and didn't plan to.

"Uh..yeah. I uh... I know what I'm doing this year." Roxas bit his lip hard.

"Awesome! So you're coming home, right?" Pence chirped. Roxas could feel some invisible hand reaching into his chest and ripping out his heart.

"I...can't." he murmured.

"You can't?" the hurt in Pence's voice made the invisible hand drop Roxas's heart into a blender and push 'puree'.

"My parents aren't letting me come home. They're still too pissed off. So...I'm gonna be stuck on campus for two weeks." the words burned paths of self-hatred as they rolled off his tongue.

"Wow. That sucks." Pence mumbled. "We miss you so much."

"I know." Roxas whispered, gripping the sheets tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"We were gonna go with my parents to Hollow Bastion this year, too." Pence said. "I know how much you love it there."

"Yeah well..." Roxas wished Pence would call him a piece of dirt and hang up on him. He felt he deserved it right now.

"Well that's Olette on the other line." Pence said after a muted beep broke the silence. Roxas felt as if he'd just swallowed hot coals and acid.

"Tell her I'm sorry." he rasped.

"I will. That sucks you can't come home, man." Pence said again.

"It does." Roxas groaned.

"I guess I'll call you later." Pence mumbled.

"Please." Roxas insisted. "I miss hearing from you all."

"Kay. Later, man." Pence said.

"Bye." Roxas managed to croak. Pushing the 'end' button on his phone, he tossed it across his bed and flopped down onto a pillow.

"I hate you so much right now..." he said to the reflection of himself in the tiny mirror he kept by the bed.

He felt worse than terrible lying to his friends and ditching them when he hadn't seen them in so long. But Demyx was such a great guy and was so enthusiastic about having him over. And...wasn't it time Roxas branched out a bit? Hayner, Pence and Olette had been his closest friends for as long as he could remember. Roxas hadn't even been in any one else's house, except for a few classmates to work on projects. This would be good for him. He could go visit someone else, spend some time with his friends outside of school and visit the beach at the same time.

Nothing he told himself lessened the guilt. Sighing, Roxas turned onto his side and buried his head under the pillow, blocking out the feeble Saturday afternoon sunshine. He remained just like that until Saix dragged him to dinner three hours later.

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We're finally getting to the part I've been wanting to write since I started this story!

Hooray!

Reviews? Pls n thnx.


	19. Compulsion

Herro derr!  
Welcome back to 'Story time with Rulisu'!

We're movin' on over into chapter 19.

Is this awesome or what?

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"**Compulsion"**

"You gonna eat that?" Xemnas inquired, pointing to a thick slice of garlic bread that Roxas had neglected to even touch since the start of dinner. He solemnly shook his head, watching as Xemnas tore the bread from the plate with incredible grace and speed and shoved it in his mouth whole, chasing it down with a long swig of Earl Grey tea. Roxas's nose wrinkled as he looked on in disgust.

He hadn't said a word all night, nor had he eaten much. He'd been sitting the whole time with his head in his hands, staring at his plate of chicken alfredo as the sauce coagulated and his salad wilted. No one had noticed his silence since Saix had decided to come back to the table after almost a year of absence. Demyx and Marluxia were talking to him while motioning wildly with their hands as they were known to do. Saix only chuckled. He and Axel were seated beside Roxas, but they didn't look over. Only when Saix fell backwards into Roxas in a fit of uncontrollable laughter did the latter snap out of his catatonic state.

"Woah! Sorry Rox." Saix chuckled from Roxas's lap.

"S'alright." Roxas answered. Saix readjusted himself to lay back in Roxas's lap, encouraging him to join the conversation. Roxas set his hands on Saix's shoulders and leaned over him to better here what Demyx was going on about.

"And there's this_ HUGE _pool in the back with a fountain and this really awesome rock formation that my dad made!" Roxas heard the blond cry as he held out his arms to emphasis the size of the pool.

"Why is there a pool when you live on the beach?" Saix inquired.

"Not a clue. But there is one." Demyx said, moving onto the next impressive characteristic of his home. Roxas felt his stomach churn. There was really nothing he could do now but go with Demyx this season, so he shouldn't feel bad about listening to the awesome time he'd have. But all he could think about was his friends at home.

His parents had been easy to convince. He'd called them before he went into the mess hall and told them that he'd been assigned hardcore detention over the break for being late. His father had given him a lecture about being on time, then hung up with a huff. His parents never called him, and he knew they'd be easy to snow. But something in Pence's voice told Roxas that maybe his story wasn't believed. He prayed his friends didn't know he was ditching them. He pushed the idea from his mind and tried to focus on something other than the growing shadow in his consciousness.

"Hey..." Roxas murmured, leaning back into Xemnas's shoulder. "You goin' this year?" he pointed to Demyx.

"Naw." Xemnas responded after a moment.

"Aw, really?" Roxas couldn't hide his disappointment.

"'Fraid not, Rox." Xemnas responded, turning a page in the book he was reading.

"Well why not?" Roxas squirmed as Saix moved in his lap.

"Insufficient funds, my dear. Parents cut me off, remember? I can barely afford food, let alone the train"

"Demyx won't pay for you?" Roxas asked.

"I'd never ask charity from someone as eager to dole it out as Demyx. And don't you go asking for me." Xemnas warned.

"I won't." Roxas promised. "But it's going to suck without you." he sighed.

"It might not. Demyx's parents know how to throw a party. I guarantee you that once you get there, you'll forget all about me, school and anything else that isn't the cider in your cup or the music in your ears." Xemnas smiled.

"You're abnormally optimistic." Roxas quirked an eyebrow, ignoring the uproarious laughter that exploded from Axel and Saix.

"It's the tea." Xemnas joked, holding up his mug.

"So what are you gonna do here by yourself for two weeks?" Roxas asked, absently stroking Saix's hair. Xemnas shrugged.

"I'll probably lay around all day reading or writing. Maybe catch up on some of that homework I haven't done." he said.

"I thought you rig all your transcripts." Roxas said.

"I do. But sometimes it feels good to earn an honest grade. Being scum all the time can really start to drag on the soul." Xemnas smirked.

"What soul?" Roxas joked.

"Mmm. Good question, my friend." Xemnas sighed.

"So you're gonna have a shitty winter break all over a train ticket." Roxas grumbled.

"A 3,000 munny ticket." Xemnas said. "It's always so painfully expensive to visit the coast."

"_I_ can afford it." Roxas reminded him with a hint of pride.

"Yes, but _you_ have munny saved up from having a job. I had the 'tough shit, you're on your own' bomb dropped on me out of nowhere. Had no time to prepare." Xemnas said, scratching the back of his neck as he scanned a page in his book.

"Then why not get a job?" Roxas asked.

"I plan to get a job at the school once I graduate. Don't really have anywhere to go but here, ya know? But they won't let students be employed and enrolled at the school at the same time." Xemnas said grudgingly.

"Like the rules have ever stopped you." Roxas chuckled.

"It wouldn't be a problem for me usually, but this goes far beyond my buddy Ansem and I. The president of the school board is pretty adamant about things like this and I'm afraid I've yet to make a solid alliance with him." Xemnas explained.

"And why not?" Roxas inquired.

"I'm not particularly fond of people who have metaphorical sticks as permanent accessories for their metaphorical asses." Xemnas grumbled.

"Lovely mental image." Roxas smiled.

"I try." Xemnas responded.

"So I guess your mind is made up?" Roxas asked.

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" Xemnas grinned.

"You're being awfully petty." Roxas said. "You could just ask someone to give you the munny."

"I accept payouts in the form of food and cigarettes only because both are necessary if I am to stay alive. But I won't take munny for something like a train trip." Xemnas said. Roxas decided not to mention that cigarettes do the opposite of lengthen your lifespan.

"So you're just gonna take a crappy holiday season sitting down." Roxas accused.

"It's my choice." Xemnas reminded him.

"You're impossible." Roxas's eyes narrowed.

"So they tell me." Xemnas smiled at Roxas with his chin on his hand and a few silver strands in his face. "But you go. Have fun."

"I'll try." Roxas said truthfully before he felt Saix grab hold of his collar and pull him upright into a hug as Marluxia snapped a photo of them.

The next morning was thankfully a Sunday, and Roxas didn't have to rise with the sun to rush off to class. He awoke slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the light, then sat up and looked around at the beds. Xaldin was still asleep and Luxord was at the foot of his bed, doodling game strategy onto a notepad, his giant noise-canceling headphones over his small ears. Saix's bed was empty, though it's usual occupant came whistling up the stone steps moments after that fact registered in Roxas's head.

"Morning, Roxas!" Saix said cheerily, rubbing a towel over his wet hair.

"You went to the bathhouse?" Roxas mumbled, feeling himself bristle at the thought of the endless winter that plagued the school. "Dude, you're crazy." Roxas looked Saix up and down, surprised that he hadn't frozen to death in only a pair of jeans and sandals.

"It's not that bad." Saix said. "We're in a warm snap for the next few days. Then after that, the snow starts falling."

"You're still crazy." Roxas joked.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Saix smiled, flopping down on his bed. "Oh by the way, Axel told me to tell you that he has a copy of the pictures from Marluxia's camera for you."

"Our unofficial paparazzi." Roxas smiled.

"Yeah. Apparently there's some great ones in there." Saix said, running a brush through his matted hair.

"Of?" inquired Roxas.

"You and Saix last night, everyone else at the table, and a really great one of Xigbar, Xemnas and I doing the 'Charlie's Angels' pose." Saix chuckled.

"Oh that I gotta see." grinned Roxas.

"I must admit, we're pretty sexy beasts." said Saix.

"Keep tellin' yourself that." Roxas smirked. "So where was Axel when he told you he had the pictures?"

"I was on my way from the bathhouse, but it looked like he might have been headed for his dorm. Or the Blackbox. Not sure." Saix was tugging on a particularly stubborn knot.

"Alright. Then I'm gonna go get those pictures." Roxas said. "You want copies?"

"I'll just take a look at the ones you get. If I want any for myself, I'll let Marluxia know." Saix said, smiling in triumph over his pale blue locks.

"Okay. See you at lunch, man." Roxas said, slipping off his bed.

"Later."

Roxas walked briskly through the rare sunshine, casting glances at groups of students standing together, looking for any sign of Axel. Roxas doubted he'd be in his dorm on a day like this, but figured that it wouldn't hurt to check. He opened the door of the dorm and looked around the common area, seeing no one and hearing nothing but music playing faintly from the room above.

"Axel?" Roxas called, knowing that his voice probably couldn't be heard. Swallowing dryly, Roxas climbed up the stairs, trying not to remember the sight he was met with the last time he graced these steps. He pushed carefully on the door and watched it swing inward to reveal not Axel, but Vexen. He was walking back and forth across the room, picking things up and putting them into a giant suitcase, his platinum blond hair tied back in a ponytail. The song on the small radio that Vexen was mouthing the words to was familiar to Roxas from the days before Sora's stereo blasted it's last note.

"Hey Vex!" Roxas waved. Vexen stopped digging through his dresser and looked over at Roxas, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Oh...hi, Roxas." he grinned, carrying an armful of clothes to his bed.

"Nice uh... taste in music there, kiddo." Roxas chuckled, pointing to the stereo.

"Dude... 'Smooth Criminal' fucks my soul." Vexen said, completely serious.

"I don't doubt it." Roxas chuckled. "So uh... don't you think it's a bit early to be packing for break? It doesn't start for a week."

"I know. But I'm allowed to leave early. I'm not exactly traveling anywhere close." Vexen explained, sloppily folding a few shirts.

"Where are you going?" Roxas asked curiously, looking into Vexen's suitcase.

"Way far away." Vexen chuckled. "Ever hear of a place called Traverse Town?" he asked.

"Uh...yeah, actually. My brother went there for camp." Roxas nodded, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Well, that's where my foster parents live. Over in the Second District." Vexen said, closing the suitcase and pulling the zipper shut.

"Foster parents?" Roxas inquired.

"It's a long story." Vexen said with an amused chuckle. "So what's been up with you? I haven't seen you in ages."

"Well you haven't been to Theater." Roxas reminded him.

"Eh." Vexen grunted with distaste.

"I know about Axel cutting." Roxas blurted out before he could convince himself not to. Vexen froze.

"I suppose you would." he said, his voice slightly less friendly now. "You guys _are_ dating, aren't you?"

"Yeah we are." Roxas said. "He's a great guy." he added in Axel's defense.

"I didn't say he wasn't." Vexen said, sitting on the edge of his bed to face Roxas. "He's just an imbecile."

"He can be." Roxas agreed. "But uh... Marluxia and Demyx said you knew why he cuts. Is that true?"

"I guess. I mean... he told me years ago, but I doubt his reasons have changed." Vexen shrugged, pulling at the hem of his gray shirt that bore a shamrock and the words "Flogging Molly" in dark green.

"What did he tell you?" Roxas asked.

"It started with his parents splitting. His mom blamed him for the whole thing and that's...that's a lot of stress to put on an 11 year old, ya know?" Vexen began.

"Good god, he's been cutting that long?" Roxas's insides squirmed.

"Life's not always rainbows and butterflies, kid." Vexen said grudgingly. "Anyway...it never used to be habitual. But over time, it just became like an addiction for him. He doesn't even need something to set him off anymore."

"He cuts for the hell of it." Roxas was disgusted.

"Yes and no. It's hard to explain." Vexen said. "It's a compulsion. He can't really control it anymore."

"But there are times when he can?" Roxas said, more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. But he has moments of weakness. Hence me and Laxaeus not talking to him." Vexen grumbled. Roxas felt his insides grow cold at the memory of Axel sitting in this room, shredding his arm to ribbons.

"So there's nothing anyone can do?" he whispered.

"There's always something someone can do." Vexen said. "They just have to be willing to try."

"Well I'm gonna try." Roxas said.

"You do that." Vexen waved him off. "But know that we've all given it a shot. And none of us have been even close to successful."

"Maybe you weren't the right ones to be trying." Roxas argued.

"You know...you're smarter than you look." Vexen said. Roxas smiled weakly in reply. "Well, I gotta catch my train in a bit, so I should keep packing. And lunch will be starting soon, so you'd better go"

"Yeah. I'll uh...I'll get out of your hair." Roxas murmured.

"You stay out of trouble, alright?" Vexen ruffled Roxas's spikes.

"I'll try my best." Roxas chuckled. He turned on his heel and began making his way for the stone steps when he called over his shoulder. "Oh and Vexen?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for at least giving it a shot...with Axel." he said wholeheartedly.

"No problem." Vexen responded quietly after a moment of silence. Roxas nodded and began climbing down the stairs.

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I love this story.

I love reviews, too!

Please tell me this isn't going painfully slow and I suck as a writer!

Even when I know both are true. (


	20. Better left unsaid

'Kay.

So I chugged three Rockstars and wound up falling asleep somewhere around 5 am.

Then woke up at 7 am completely refreshed.

Hooray for power-napping!

Anyway...

I know this story probably seems like it's going really slow. And I feel like a moron having all these chapters since the most I've ever seen someone on have is like.. 15 chapters.

There would be fewer chapters if I could write a longer one without losing my focus.

Please someone tell me this isn't dragging on forever and becoming too long for it's own good!

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"**Better left unsaid"**

Vexen's train had left by mid-afternoon, and Roxas found Axel. The redhead had given him the pictures (which Saix had more than a good laugh over), but Roxas still couldn't find it in himself to mention Axel's little problem that was quickly becoming the only thing in the forefront of his mind.

Axel had changed his bandages that morning. Roxas could tell because the faint brown spots of dried blood seeping through the gauze, only visible to someone really looking for it, had been replaced by gossamer white. He kept a piercing sapphire stare on the bandage during lunch, looking away only when Axel or someone else would glance over at him. He sipped his water anxiously, tuning out Demyx's perpetually excited chatter. The gauze seemed to taunt him. It seemed to beg Roxas 'pull me off this arm. Tear me away so the world can see what I conceal'.

Roxas considered reaching over and gripping Axel's arm as strong as he was able, pulling forth from the tattered flesh a smear of crimson in the shape of his slender fingers. He imagined doing this, imagined Axel's pained and horrified look as Roxas dug his fingernails into the soft white bandage. It sickened Roxas to envision himself as such a monster, but frustration led him down no other path. Everyone had tried to reform Axel's self-destructive logic, and to no avail. Demyx and Marluxia seemed confident that Roxas would be the one to finally talk some sense into Axel, but what did he have that the others didn't? Axel's affection? Roxas only hoped it'd be enough.

"Axel..." he croaked dryly, tugging a bit on the redhead's black t-shirt.

"Yeah, Rox?" Axel inquired, wrapping an arm around the smaller boy's waist to pull him close.

"I need to talk to you about something." Roxas murmured in Axel's ear. The latter boy went rigid at Roxas's side, though his face showed no signs of being at all disturbed.

"About what?" Axel mumbled back, trying to look thoroughly compelled by the consistency of the Oriental soup he was enjoying for lunch.

"Just something." Roxas couldn't bring himself to look up.

"You're...you're not leaving me, are you?" Axel's voice had the barest hint of a trembling fear crawling along it's edges.

"No." Roxas shook his head and pressed himself harder to Axel's side. "Of course not."

"Okay." Axel breathed, though he didn't completely relax. "After lunch, then?"

"Yeah." Roxas murmured, pulling away to continue taking small bites out of his suddenly unappetizing sandwich. Axel was more than obviously anxious where he sat at Roxas's side, nursing his soup, pretending to be interested in his friends. The whole time, his thoughts lingered on Roxas and whatever he had to say. Little by little, the table of usual companions emptied, leaving only Roxas and Axel.

"So...what is it?" Axel asked Roxas over the roar of the students around them. Roxas turned on the bench to face Axel, though he kept his eyes trained on his lap where his fingers twisted on themselves, the nails threatening to peel back a layer or two of skin in his worry.

"I..." began Roxas. "I know that...that there's..." his words kept trailing off into whispers as he found it harder and harder to keep from crying, though he had no idea why.

"Roxas, what is it?" Axel demanded, worried sick for himself and the boy in front of him. With a blank stare and no words, Roxas slowly reached for Axel's bandaged arm. Axel's eyes widened, though he did nothing to stop Roxas as he carefully pulled at the small knot, unraveling the white. Each rotation of cloth yielded more pale flesh, marred with pink gashes and cream-colored scars. Roxas gave a final yank and the bandage fell away completely. He stared at the arm Axel rested in his lap.

The cuts were laid out like a grid in some places, utterly random in others. Some looked older than the rest, while a few of the lacerations made Roxas wonder if they'd been made just this morning. A drop of crystal remorse fell onto the raw flesh and Roxas's eyes flew to Axel's. He was crying silently, though there was no emotion on his face. He looked like a statue in the middle of a grand fountain, with beads of water rolling down his stony visage that would remain unchanged until the daily trickling of such water over his surface finally wore him away to nothing.

"How did you find out?" his stone mouth finally murmured. Roxas tried to respond, but found there was something the size of a golfball in this throat. He guessed it to be his shock, surprise, and the rising urge to vomit. He only shook his head, tears of his own flying off as he did so. Trembling, he ran a finger across the cuts, the slits making him feel emptier and emptier each time he came across one.

"Why?" was the only acceptable thing he could think of to say.

"Answer me, Roxas." Axel's tone was much darker than Roxas had ever heard it. "How did you find out?" he demanded.

"I saw you." Roxas mumbled, looking away. "In your dorm."

"You were spying on me." Axel accused. Roxas shook his head in protest and heaved a ragged sigh, trying to keep composure, though he was certain that by now his face was redder than a tomato and just as likely to burst open with weepy sentiment at a moment's notice.

"I came to find you. The door of the dorm was open and I... I looked in and..." he shook his head, looking back down at his lap. Axel pulled his arm from Roxas's grasp, a look of disgust and anger twisting his delicate features.

"And you didn't think to say anything before now?" his voice was rising.

"I couldn't! I knew you'd be angry with me and I didn't want to have to face head-on the fact that the only person I've given a damn about in a long time cuts himself because he can't get over his parents' divorce!" Roxas cried, his voice high and cracking. Another wave of rage settled into Axel's eyes, which narrowed at the last line Roxas spoke.

"Vexen." he growled. "I should have known." he stared off to the left as if he'd strangle Roxas if he continued to look at him.

"Vexen didn't tell me anything." came Roxas's sad attempt to backtrack.

"He's the only one that knows what set me off years ago." Axel snapped. "And he's lucky he's on a train right now or so help me..." his hands balled into fists as a small vein in his forehead began to make it's presence known.

"It's not his fault, Axel." Roxas whimpered. "It's yours."

"And how is it my fault?!" Axel demanded loudly, drawing the attention of students at a nearby table. Roxas winced, but forced himself to meet Axel's emerald gaze.

"Because, Axel. You're being selfish and stupid. People have tried to help you and you just keep pushing them away." he insisted.

"Forgive me for not wanting someone telling me how to live my life!" Axel snapped.

"No one is telling you how to live your life, Axel. We just don't want to see you hurting yourself. It makes us sick." Roxas pleaded.

"Oh is that it? Can't stand to see the crazy fuckin' cutter taking his life's troubles out on himself?" Axel's voice was high and he was near hysterics.

"No, Axel. I just want to see you happy. And okay and not..." Roxas struggled for words, but settled for pointing to Axel's decimated forearm.

"And not what? Hmm? Different?" Axel glared through the tears that brimmed in his eyes.

"You're not being different. You're being stupid... and... and I don't know if I can deal with that." Roxas grit his teeth against the words he uttered. He knew he was crossing onto dangerous ground by bringing their relationship into the mix, playing it like a card on a table. His mind was so scattered at the sight of Axel's arm burned forever in his memory that he didn't feel like searching for a less volatile arguing point.

"What do you mean?" Axel murmured, his coloring gone with all traces of hostility. Roxas bit the inside of his mouth until his tasted blood as he psyched himself into his next answer.

"I mean... I mean I don't want to stay with you if you can't stop this." he muttered, every nerve ending in his body on fire with regret. Axel sat in stunned silence for a moment, staring at the top of Roxas's head.

"Fine." he scoffed, though it sounded more like a choke on a tear. He sat up from the table, wracking his knee on the wood as he did so, though it must not have registered in his mind. He gathered the gauze and shoved it into his pocket. "You won't be the first person to disappoint me, Roxas." he said. "Just the first one I loved." at these words, tears flowed down his cheeks in a warm torrent that blurred his vision.

Roxas felt as if he'd been kicked in the gut. Through tears and sobs that threatened to escape his rose-bud mouth, he tried to suck in air, though every pant made him sicker and sicker to his stomach. Grasping the wood of the table, Roxas steadied himself, trying to keep from falling over. By the time he'd recovered from Axel's words, the boy in question was already walking away, a hand twisted angrily in the hair near his neck.

"You... you love me?" Roxas croaked. The sound was more feeble than the mewing of a tiny kitten. Even in Roxas's own ears, it sounded pathetic. But somehow, perhaps through sheer force of will, Axel heard it. Spinning around on his heel, he stared into Roxas's eyes as if he were trying to pull the boy's very soul from them.

"Yeah Roxas. I do." a tear slid down his face and he wiped it away with a sigh. "But that doesn't matter anymore..." his words were merely a choked whisper. Roxas looked on in shock, but before he could think of anything to say, Axel was pushing his way through a group of students, his marred arm on display.

"What have I done?" Roxas whimpered miserably to himself. Thumping his head on the wood of the table, he stared into it's deep brown surface, stained with the meals of students from years past. He considered getting up to follow Axel, though his legs wouldn't work and it felt like he no longer had feet. Only when the bell clanged loudly overhead, though his whole world seemed muted, did Roxas find the strength to pry himself from the table.

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Short chapter, I know.

I just felt like anything else in here would be kinda anti-climactic.

So...your thoughts?


	21. Change of plans

Not having internet is a drag.

Moving on...

Again, I apologize for the shortness and excess of chapters.

Let's do this, ja?

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"**Change of plans"**

Roxas spent the next few hours staring at the walls of his classrooms as the teachers' voices drifted into his head only to be lost amid the storm of thoughts of self-loathing that had taken up residence since the afternoon. He rubbed the spot below his ear almost to the point of being raw as he poured over the conversation with Axel. Was there really anything he could say now that would make him seem like any less of a monster?

And Axel had actually said he loved Roxas. The words had sent Roxas reeling but at the same time, he wished he could hear them over and over. And at least in better context. Had Axel really meant that Roxas disappointed him? The thought was almost unbearable. And was it over now? It couldn't be!

As soon as the bell rang for the end of his final class, Roxas threw his papers and books into his backpack and set off across the campus in a run to Axel's dorm. He crashed through the door, ignoring Laxaeus's puzzled stare from one of the large chairs, and darted up the steps to the bedroom. His eyes tore the room apart, but he found only empty beds. He walked forward slowly, taking a seat on Axel's unmade and messy bed. He was determined to wait right there until Axel returned.

"Hey Roxas." Xigbar's voice sounded from behind him though it sounded drained.

"Xigbar?" Roxas looked over his shoulder to find Axel's roommate leaning against the doorframe. "Hey. Have you seen..." he began.

"Axel's staying with Xemnas in his dorm tonight. I don't know what you did, but you set him off real good. I don't suggest going over there, either." Xigbar warned, his eyes narrowing.

"He isn't mad at me, is he?" Roxas choked, tears prickling the back of his eyes.

"No. He's really upset, though." Xigbar blamed Roxas. "The hell did you say to him?" he demanded. Roxas swallowed hard and looked down at his hands.

"I told him I wanted him to stop cutting." he whimpered. Xigbar's arms fell from where they were crossed over his chest and a hand flew over his eyes as he groaned.

"You're serious, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes, I am. I wasn't going to just stand back and watch Axel keep doing something like that and if you think that I'm wrong for saying anything, then..." Roxas became defensive.

"I'm not mad at you." Xigbar assured him. "I'm mad at Axel."

"You're not the only one." Roxas murmured.

"So he's back at it again. Damn him anyway!" Xigbar grunted, taking a seat beside Roxas. "No wonder Vex and Laxaeus have been so miffed lately."

"And you didn't think to ask?" Roxas wondered.

"Naw. Vexen can be pretty moody and Lax doesn't say much to start with. I didn't think Axel was back to slice & dicin'. That really sucks." Xigbar sighed. "Never seen him get this upset over someone confronting him about it, though." he added.

"Gee thanks." Roxas snarled sarcastically.

"No I mean... usually he gets all pissed off and throws a temper tantrum then goes into his cocky 'I can do whatever I want, it's my body' speech. He must really like you." Xigbar mused._ "He loves me..."_ Roxas thought sadly.

"Yeah..." he sighed. "So there's... no reasoning with him?"

"Not a chance." Xigbar shook his head. "He's barricaded himself in Xem's dorm."

"You can't talk to him for me?" Roxas pleaded, only to get a shake of the head from Xigbar.

"It's better to just leave him alone right now." he soothed. "Trust me on this."

"Can...can I at least spend the night here?" Roxas asked, feeling himself flush.

"I guess. But...why?" Xigbar asked. Roxas blushed harder and looked at the comforter under his fingers.

"Because his bed smells like him." he whispered. Xigbar bit his lower lip and gripped Roxas's shoulders gently.

"You really like him, don't you?" he mumbled. Roxas nodded, a small tear rolling down his cheek.

"I love him." he admitted. Xigbar said nothing else, he just wrapped Roxas in a tight hug that Roxas returned.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Please don't do that." Xemnas cringed, watching Axel bury his face in Xemnas's favorite satin pillow, leaving a trail of mucus and tears in his wake.

"Screw you!" came Axel's muffled, anguished cry. Xemnas sighed and shook his head, turning on his stereo. The disk tray slid out and he placed a burned CD into one of the ten slots and pushed another button, watching the tray disappear back into the enormous wall of plastic, circuits and wiring. There was some muted gear grinding as the tiny laser inside bounced off the encoded surface of the disk. The first few notes of a song from Xemnas's tween years filled the room making Axel groan and lift his head up out of the pillow.

"Are you kidding me?" he sobbed. " 'Bittersweet Symphony'? You really think I need to listen to something so damn depressing right now?"

"I happen to love The Verve. It's not my fault you're a wreck." Xemnas snapped. "And it's not depressing." he added.

"You're right." Axel sighed, propping himself up on his elbows.

"The song isn't depressing?"

"No." Axel glared. "It is. But you're right about it not being your fault... it's mine. Just like Roxas said." he sighed.

"What exactly _did _he say?" Xemnas asked, taking a seat on the edge of his bed after grabbing a magazine off of Demyx's night table. Axel gave Xemnas a rundown of the earlier conversation, not excluding the part where Axel admitted to loving Roxas.

"Holy shit balls." Xemnas muttered with wide eyes. "You dropped the 'L' bomb?" he cringed.

"I wasn't exactly thinking straight." Axel defended. Xemnas let out a low whistle and chuckled humorlessly.

"You're on your own with that one." he said, thumbing through the magazine.

"What do you mean?" Axel mumbled, not looking up from his feet.

"I mean the 'love' thing. You're on your own." said Xemnas.

"You can't help me? Why? Because you've never really loved someone?" Axel mused.

"Hey check it out! Gibson's releasing a new limited edition double-neck. It's supposed to look just like Jimmy Paige's, too." Xemnas said, ignoring Axel's comment as he looked through Demyx's 'Musicians Monthly'.

"Oh my god. I've done it!" Axel cried, sitting up.

"Done what?" Xemnas grumbled.

"I've discovered the carefully guarded secret of the super-suave Xemnas." Axel said confidently.

"Oh, and what's that?" Xemnas glared.

"You're a sociopath." Axel nodded.

"Listen here, youngster." Xemnas began, pointing the magazine at Axel. "I might not be from a broken home like some kids..." he looked harder at Axel. "But I'm sure as hell not from a loving one. I try not to attach myself to people unless I feel it's genuinely worth my time. That doesn't make me a sociopath. It makes me guarded. There's a slight, but oh-so-significant difference." he declared, setting the magazine back in his lap and opening up to the article about metronomes. Axel wrinkled his nose, more offended by the 'youngster' comment than the one about his family.

"Could have fooled me." he said after a moment. Xemnas glared at him with a side-glance.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked smoothly, though there was obviously poison bubbling beneath the surface.

"I see the way you look at Roxas." Axel snapped. "And in case you're wondering, it _does_ bother me."

"You're a real piece of work, Axel." Xemnas said with disregard. "Remind me again..._why_ am I letting you stay here tonight?"

"You can't tell me it's just that you think he's cute." Axel ignored him. At this, Xemnas tossed the magazine to the side and jumped on Axel, pinning him by his upper arms to the bed.

"You've known me for years, Axel. Years!" he growled in the boy's face. "You really think I'd try to take from you the only thing that makes you happy?!"

"I don't." Axel admitted, trying to free himself from Xemnas's grasp, but to no avail. "But then again, I thought you were straight for a while there." he added menacingly.

"You know I consider myself above labeling anything, especially my sexuality." Xemnas narrowed his eyes. "If I find someone attractive, I find them attractive."

"Boys just happen to tickle your fancy more than anything with a set of tits." Axel accused. Xemnas tightened his grip on Axel's thin arms.

"Girls are bitches, and yes, boys tend to catch my eye a bit more..." he grinned seductively and shifted his weight against Axel, making him gasp sharply. "Some more than others." he whispered.

"Get off me!" Axel groaned, wriggling in Xemnas's grasp. The older boy complied, letting go of Axel, watching him slip off the bed and move to stand by the window, looking out of it with frustration wrinkling his pale forehead.

"I know you're not in the best head space right now..." Xemnas began. "But it hurts me to know that you think I'd take Roxas from you. Even if he _was _anything more than a tight ass to stare at." he muttered.

"I don't think anyone would have to try very hard to take him at this point." Axel rasped sadly.

"Oh get _over_ yourself." Xemnas groaned. "The kid loves you. If you can't see that, you're dumber than you look, alright? You guys just need a break from each other."

"That's why I'm not going to Demyx's house for the holidays." Axel mumbled, folding his arms across his chest, still staring out the window.

"Well that's stupid." Xemnas said, leaning back against the pillow Axel hadn't defiled.

"You said it yourself, we need a break. Besides, I want him to have fun and he really can't do that if I'm there. Not after what happened today." Axel sighed.

"Whatever." Xemnas said, stretching out. There was a moment of silence as Axel thought.

"I want you to go instead." he finally said. At this, Xemnas sat up and stared at him.

"You wanna run that by me again?" he asked, his eyebrows quirked.

"I said I want you to go instead." Axel repeated. "You said you didn't have the munny, right?"

"Well yeah but... you sure?" Xemnas questioned, a hint of suspicion in his tone.

"Positive. Think about it...moonlit beaches, satin sheets, eggnog, music..." Axel murmured.

"And Roxas." Xemnas's eyes narrowed as he understood what Axel was getting at.

"And Roxas." Axel nodded.

"You're sick." Xemnas growled. Axel only shrugged and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, retrieving the train ticket. He strode to the side of Xemnas's bed and waved it in front of his face.

"Consider it a test." he whispered, pressing the piece of paper to Xemnas's bare chest. Axel was halfway to the door when Xemnas called after him.

"You're sleeping on the floor, I hope you know!" he shouted.

"I'm going to sleep in _my_ dorm tonight." Axel said over his shoulder. "Change of plans."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rawr!

(By the way, "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve is the most amazing song in the universe. And I know I throw in a lot of songs names and bands, but I'm trying to kinda build the characters' personalities by showing what kind of music they listen to. Hope it's helping.)

Reviews?


	22. Forever

This is slowly but surely turning into an epic.

"The Iliad" aint got nothin' on this!

Eat your heart out, Homer!

Anyway...

I really like where this is going. Like... lot's and lots.

Now that we're to the part I've been wanting to write since I started this freakshow, it should be getting even better.

Randomly inserted disclaimer: All characters and places © 2002-2006 Disney & Square Enix. Teenage angst, sexy boylove and snappy one-liners © 2008 Rulisu.

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"**Forever"**

Axel had opted to skip dinner, settling instead for climbing to the top of the bell tower to gaze out at his fellow students as they made the slow precession into the building below him. He ran his fingers over the stone that had been worn smooth by it's many years of being bombarded by biting winds and torrential rain. The kind of rain he'd been caught in the night he brought Roxas up here. The night they'd first kissed.

He remembered the way Roxas looked in the moonlight. How pale his lovely skin had glowed, how bright his eyes had been moments before they closed in sweet surrender. The soft skin of his lips had yielded to the most beautiful, tender and passionate kiss Axel had ever experienced and now...there was nothing. No soft laughter, no loving words. No Roxas.

His fingers curled into a pained fist as he bit back tears, though there was no one around to mock him for them. His eyes scanned the dots that passed over the gravel below, looking for that head of light brown spikes. "Honey Brown", Roxas had called them. The heads were beginning to become a blur, and Axel gave up, laying back against the warm stone, looking up into the clouds that were burning bright with the oranges and pinks of the sun that was setting behind them. He began to make shapes in the billows and before long, the peaceful melody of day's end had lulled him into a quiet slumber.

A thunderclap in the distance woke Axel with a start hours later. He sat up slowly, grimacing against the stiffness in his back and legs from hours of being pressed against hard stone. He stood and stretched, trying to relieve some of the ache. Shaking his head and briefly mourning his spikes that were now flat against the back of his head, Axel made his way off the the tower and across the grounds to his dorm.

He tiptoed through the gravel, sticking to the shadows of the buildings and shrubs. He was especially careful when passing by a dorm that was usually heavily patrolled by the nighttime monitors. He doubted Xemnas would be too eager to get him out of any trouble tonight. Not after their little episode earlier. He groaned quietly to himself when he saw a monitor standing just outside the door of his dorm, staring around lazily like he'd rather be boiled in acid than on patrol. Axel was almost positive he could sneak right past and the monitor wouldn't even flinch. He didn't even look like he was awake as he stood there swaying. Axel decided not to risk it.

He slipped behind a dorm and pulled out his cellphone, using a slender hand to shield the blue light that flooded the patch of shadow as he checked the time. 11:13 pm. Had he really been out that long? Must have been the warmth of the building. He slumped against the wall of the dorm and slid down it slowly, peeking out every now and then to check if the monitor had moved along to his next patrol spot. Axel's cellphone read 11:32 before he was finally able to creep out of the shadows and up the stone steps of his dorm.

He pushed the door open carefully, cursing the monitor as he closed it behind him. The fire was still burning on the hearth. Laxaeus's hulking, silhouetted shape scared the warmth out of Axel's blood for a moment. He looked closer and found that his roommate was asleep in the chair that was large enough to hold even Laxaeus where he lay curled into a content ball on the patterned cloth. Axel considered waking him, but decided against it. Laxaeus wasn't exactly thrilled with him right now and everyone hates the person who wakes them from their slumber, no matter who it is.

Axel slipped across the wooden floor silently, careful not to step on the board that creaked as he made his way to the stone staircase. At the base, he removed his Converse shoes and his white shirt that had screenprinted blood splashed across it, the word 'Combichrist' in neon blue. He'd gotten flack not only for that shirt, but for the love of the hardcore industrial band who's name it bore. As he'd told Demyx time and time again, 'if you can listen to that whiny lead singer of Muse, I can listen to my angry techno'.

Now wearing only loose black cotton pants, Axel crept up the stairs, the soles of his bare feet sticking to the cold stone. He reached the top and peeked into the room at the beds. Xigbar's snoring left no doubt in Axel's mind that his boisterous roommate was sound asleep. Vexen's bed sat empty, as did Laxaeus's. Then Axel saw something he didn't expect to see. In his bed was a lump that had quite presumptuously curled up in his ridiculously soft and elegant 10,000 thread-count half satin, half cotton sheets that had been a very generous gift from Demyx and his bottomless pit of a bank account. If the person in his bed was anyone but the aforementioned rich kid, they were really in for it.

Knowing Xigbar could sleep through the impact of an atom bomb right outside his window and the resulting 15.5 magnitude earthquake, Axel stormed across the room with no regard for stealth and reached out to pull the sheets from the person in his bed when something glistening in the moonlight caught his eye. There was something shining on the fair skin of the intruder, just below an eye that was closed in painful slumber. Axel drew a sharp breath when his mind was able to process who's face this was. Before he had a chance to back up, Roxas rolled over in bed and looked up at him.

"Axel?" he whispered. Axel had been wanting to hear Roxas's voice so badly the whole day that his name from those lips was like pure bliss shot from a needle of divinity into his parched veins.

"Yeah. Yeah it's me." Axel managed to whisper back.

"I'm sorry I'm in your bed." Roxas muttered sleepily, his voice breaking. Axel slipped into bed beside him and pulled him close.

"It's alright." he assured Roxas, kissing him gently on the forehead.

"But it's so small." Roxas whispered. It was true. The bed was only a full, and too little bed for two decently sized boys.

"It's fine, baby." Axel whispered, relishing in the feeling of Roxas's cheek on his bared chest.

"I wanted to sleep here tonight because the sheets smell like you." Roxas said bashfully, hoping Axel wouldn't notice that he'd also slipped on a shirt of his.

"So you're not still mad at me?" Axel looked down at the precious angel in his arms hopefully.

"I was never mad at you. I thought you never wanted to speak to me again, though." Roxas nodded miserably.

"I think I'd go insane if I never heard your voice again." Axel whispered into Roxas's hair with heartbreaking honesty.

"Does that mean you really love me?" Roxas muttered after a moment. Axel exhaled, pulling Roxas even closer.

"I do, Roxas." he whispered, a tear rolling down his face. "I promise."

"You do what? I want to hear it." Roxas insisted. Axel gripped Roxas's arms gently and pulled him into view. He stared for a moment into the shining blue eyes that met his own, losing himself in the cobalt storm.

"I love you." Axel said, meaning it with every single thing that made him human.

"Forever?" Roxas murmured.

"Forever." Axel sighed. Roxas let a single tear fall and gasping, he wrapped his arms around Axel's neck. He kissed him hard at first, then softer until he felt Axel gently straddle him, slipping his hands under the t-shirt. He shuddered at the feeling of Axel's fingertips on his bare and sensitive skin. Axel broke the kiss and tugged on the shirt, pulling it over Roxas's head, tossing it onto the floor.

Roxas was almost positive Axel could see him blushing, even in this light. If he had, he wasn't about to let it stop him. Axel gently bent his head and began peppering Roxas's neck and chest with kisses. Roxas gasped and groaned softly when Axel started kissing his stomach slowly, running the tip of his nose along the trail of dark hair that surrounded his bellybutton. Axel's fingers slipped under the waistband of Roxas's jeans and he pulled gently, bringing forth a much louder groan from the boy who lay trembling below him.

"That's not fair." Roxas panted. Axel smiled wickedly and nipped at Roxas's ear.

"And why is that?" he whispered, his breathing heavy on every syllable. Roxas grabbed Axel's hips and brought them crashing against his own, making Axel whimper. He wrapped an arm around Axel's neck and groaned in his ear.

"Your clothes are still on."

Axel's eyes widened as Roxas's fingertips made their way down his side, brushing the tender skin there. Roxas began gently sucking on a sweet, fragrant bit of skin on Axel's neck, determined to leave a mark greater than the one that was left on him. He felt Axel chuckle at this notion, the laughter falling away into a quiet moan when Roxas reached the waist of Axel's pants, pulling on them hard. His trembling arms made it nearly impossible to keep himself up and Axel collapsed on top of Roxas to find that the boy beneath him was already blissfully naked. With incredible speed and stealth, Roxas had managed to unbutton and unzip his jeans, kicking them off beneath the sheets. The realization made him gasp and shudder.

With shaking though certain hands, he slowly pulled the blanket from Roxas and sat up. His eyes roved over the boy's body as his mouth hung open with awe. Every inch of Roxas was flawless. His skin was pale and luminescent in the moonlight, devoid of scars or any other blemish. Every sinewy curve of his small body cast shadows over the bed, the light glancing off his skin was near blinding. Axel leaned down and gently kissed his way from Roxas's chest to his ear.

"You're so perfect." he whispered. Roxas chuckled softly and twisted his fingers in Axel's soft hair. Axel shifted a bit, reaching down to remove his cotton pants while Roxas held his breath in anticipation and disbelief. Axel's euphoria was instant when he felt his bare skin touch that of his lover and he sighed, laying his head on Roxas's chest, breathing his scent in deeply. Roxas ran his fingers slowly along Axel's back while he stared at ceiling.

"Axel..." he ventured.

"Yeah?" Axel sighed against his skin. Roxas bit his lip and shifted, groaning softly when he felt his skin against Axel's.

"I...I want t-..." he sighed deeply. "Do you think...?"

"You're serious?" Axel whispered with disbelief as he gazed up at Roxas.

"I am." Roxas murmured, gently stroking the side of Axel's face. A single tear slid from Axel's eyes, as he chuckled softly. More sure of himself than he ever had been, he leaned up and kissed Roxas passionately, pushing himself back up on his arms.

The bed was soft and the blankets a mess where Roxas lay, his head on Axel's bare chest. He stared up at the boy with watery-eyed admiration as Axel casually puffed on a cigarette he'd nicked from Xemnas's personal stash the night before. Absently, Roxas began running his fingertips along Axel's stomach, brushing the thin line of hair around his bellybutton. Axel chuckled and looked down at Roxas.

"Good morning, beautiful..." he whispered. Despite himself, Roxas blushed, but smiled. "You feelin' okay?"

"Yeah..." Roxas whispered, though not entirely honestly. "Mmm...well... I didn't think it would hurt." he admitted softly. Axel smiled sympathetically and stroked Roxas's hair, brushing some of it behind the boy's ear.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." he soothed. "But... you honestly didn't think it would?" he asked. Roxas shook his head.

"No." he said. "How dumb am I?"

"You're not dumb." Axel kissed the top of Roxas's head. Roxas smiled and nuzzled himself closer to Axel's smooth side, still a bit sticky with sweat. He could feel Axel's strong hand on his back, pulling him even closer. Roxas glared at Axel's window where he could see the first rays of day's light brightening the outside world to a pale blue. He groaned and looked up at Axel, who had been staring at him the whole time.

"Everyone will be waking up soon." he whispered grudgingly. Axel sighed and glanced at the digital clock that sat on his night table, wincing. It read '5:15 am'. Axel turned onto his side and pulled Roxas close to his chest until he could feel the other boy's heart beating. For a moment, all he did was hold him, gently stroking his hair, softly breathing on his neck.

"I love you." he whispered, on the brink of tears, though he didn't know why. He felt Roxas melt in his arms.

"I love you too." the boy whispered, kissing Axel's shoulder. "So much..."

The world seemed to fall away completely, stripping Roxas of his senses. Something inside him said that maybe this was wrong. Maybe everything was going too fast or not fast enough or maybe there was nothing wrong at all. Maybe for the first time since the start of Roxas's life, there was an instance where everything was just...perfect.

"Well well well." an amused voice shattered his thoughts. "What have we here?"

Roxas looked up to see Xigbar hovering by the side of the bed, his arms crossed, a broad grin on his face. Roxas fought the urge to squeak as he ducked down into the sheets, wishing either he or Xigbar would disappear. He felt Axel shift beside him as he rolled over a bit to look at his roommate.

"Do you mind?" he demanded.

"Oh no, not at all. Please... continue." Xigbar chuckled with a wave.

"If I wasn't naked, I'd get out of bed right now and come kick your ass." Axel glared. Xigbar burst into peals of laughter, making Roxas flush a deep crimson and bury himself further in the sheets till only his eyes were visible above the layer of soft cotton.

"You know, I just might reconsider." Axel threatened, gripping the sheets, about to pull them off.

"I'm good, Axe." Xigbar giggled. "Seeing you naked once in the bathhouse was more than enough for me." he turned to Roxas. "It might have been too dark last night, but did you happen to see that peculiar birthmark of his? Right there on his side?"

"I didn't." Roxas choked. Axel managed to get ahold of a shoe and throw it at Xigbar, though it sailed harmlessly past his head.

"Don't be late for class, children." Xigbar said smugly, turning to leave. The room fell silent with the departing of Xigbar's footsteps. Axel sighed and pulled Roxas to him, smiling when Roxas nuzzled the flesh of his bare chest gently.

"I'm sorry if last night was...mmm...rushed." Axel blushed.

"Don't be." Roxas whispered.

"But I just..." Axel began when Roxas placed a finger over his lips.

"Don't talk about it. Don't think about it. It was the single most incredible experience of my life. I want it to stay that way." he pleaded. Axel smiled.

"So I've come to a decision." he mumbled around the finger.

"About?" Roxas inquired, stretching. Axel held up his cut arm sheepishly. Roxas's insides twisted at the sight, and he was glad his head had been turned away from that arm the night before, as he was positive he would have seen those marks even more illuminated in the moonlight.

"I won't ever cut again." Axel said. "I promise."

"Don't you dare promise me unless you mean it." Roxas warned. Axel sighed and pressed a tender kiss to Roxas's cheek.

"I don't make promises unless I intend to keep them." he said.

"You know you promised that you'd love me forever." Roxas teased. Axel stared into his eyes as he had only hours ago.

"I know." he whispered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Awwwwwwwww!!

Okay okay, so maybe I'm a horrible person and I'm making them both out to be total whores and infatuated teenagers but I pride myself in being a yaoi writer and I've actually never penned a story in which there's actually any sex. I felt I've earned it.

I also thought it'd be fitting. The whole strong-emotions-turns-to-sex thing. It happens all the time.

God, I'm gonna burn in Hell.

But to clear something up before we move along:

Yes, they are actually in love.

No, it's not infatuation.

Yes, I'm a terrible person.

Feel free to throw metaphorical tomatoes at me.


	23. Failed Test

'Kay.

So I know I uploaded way too much last time, but you have to understand, I have no internet.

I can only post things when I'm at the library.

I have it back now, though!

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"**Failed Test"**

Despite the wonder of the night before, the weather of the morning didn't seem willing to conform to the relaxed and happy atmosphere that surrounded Roxas and Axel. By the time they'd both dressed (Roxas in Axel's clothes as he wasn't too keen to go running across campus in the buff), rain had started pouring in thick sheets and lightening was popping all over the place, the resulting thunder shaking the very foundations of the buildings.

Axel wrapped an arm around Roxas as they took off across the courtyard to the Blackbox. By the time they were pushing open the doors, the rain had soaked them both completely, and their clothes were sticking to them miserably. Demyx and Marluxia were already inside. Both of them dry, warm and amused at the disheveled appearance of their friends.

"There's this thing called an umbrella." Demyx chuckled from his spot on the floor in front of Marluxia's chair.

"Blow me." Axel laughed, wringing his shirt out on the black wood of the floor.

"I'd love to, but I think that might upset Roxas." Demyx chirped. "I don't want to go putting him out of a job." Axel and Roxas both froze at this statement and blushed deeply, hoping neither of their friends saw this.

"Hey Axel, isn't that the shirt I got for you last year?" Marluxia asked, pointing lazily at Roxas's soaked torso. Axel's apple green eyes flickered to Roxas. He was wearing Axel's all-time favorite shirt. It had once been black, though it was now faded gray from use, and it bore the Tool logo from their "Lateralus" album. He'd only actually heard about two of the band's songs, but it was a gift from Marluxia and the design on the back was stunning. Roxas stared nervously from his front to Marluxia, to Axel and back.

"Uh...yeah." Axel muttered, scratching the back of his head. There was no denying the shirt was his. It was after all, a very rare limited edition.

"Why is Roxas wearing it?" Marluxia asked, his tone suspicious.

"It's a badass shirt. I like it." Roxas said, trying to be nonchalant.

"Yeah huh...sure." Demyx eyed the pair.

"Anyway..." Roxas interrupted his friends with feigned irritation. "You guys packed yet?"

"Define 'packed'." Demyx cringed.

"He's the world's biggest procrastinator." Marluxia grumbled, motioning lazily to Demyx. Axel stiffened beside Roxas as he remembered he'd given his ticket away to Xemnas. There was no way he was gonna ask for it back. Not only would Xemnas manage to mind-fuck him into spilling every detail about he and Roxas's relationship, he wouldn't let him live it down.

"Hey Rox? Can I talk to you?" Axel murmured, pulling Roxas aside.

"What's wrong?" the younger boy questioned.

"I'm...not going with you to Demyx's house." Axel sighed.

"What do you mean you're not going?" Roxas groaned.

"I gave my ticket to Xemnas. As a gift." Axel lied, not able to look Roxas in the eyes.

"Well that was nice of you, I guess." Roxas mumbled, highly disappointed.

"But hey... I owed him." Axel chirped, putting his hands on Roxas's shoulders.

"For what?" Roxas asked, still obviously upset.

"He brought me to you." Axel whispered, pressing his forehead to Roxas's.

"Awwwww!" cried Demyx as Marluxia snapped a picture.

"I'm going to kill you both." Axel growled. Demyx giggled and began dancing around, singing an obnoxious childhood taunt.

"Axel and Roxas sittin' in a tree!"

XxXxXxXxXx

There were still several days until the official start of Winter Break, but Xemnas (as usual) had used his pull with the administration to allow Marluxia, Demyx, Roxas, Zexion and him to leave early. Roxas stood now in the room he shared with Saix, Xaldin and Luxord, staring around to be sure he left nothing important out of the suitcase that was full to bursting on his bed. It broke his heart to know that Axel wouldn't be coming with him. But at the same time, his excitement over seeing the ocean again was overwhelming. He cursed himself for not having packed a pair of swimming trunks, but figured that if Demyx didn't have a pair in his size, he could certainly buy him a pair. Designer, no less.

Many hours later, and after having to tear himself from Axel, Roxas found himself being woken by Demyx's cheerful voice as they approached the train station. He looked out the window sleepily, pulling the earbuds from his ears, as his MP3 player's battery had died hours ago while he was dozing. The sky outside was darkening on the horizon, but the faintest remnants of a blazing sunset still clung to the clouds. The train stopped, the door opened and Roxas was met immediately with the smell of the ocean. They were still a ways from it, but there was no mistaking that refreshing breeze that rolled off the water and into town day in, day out.

Roxas, Demyx, Zexion, Marluxia and Xemnas stumbled off the train and went to collect their things. Xemnas was quiet and his jaw seemed to be clenched, and Roxas was still half asleep, but the rest of them were chattering along happily as they slung bags over their shoulders, heading for the front of the station. It was completely dark now, the warped wood beneath Roxas's feet lit only by the bright light of the ticket station and the orange glow from the lights on the walls. He grabbed onto Demyx's oversized sky blue jacket and let him lead the way. It never ceased to amaze Roxas how one becomes hyper-sensitive upon awaking. In fact, he swore he could count the threads in his friend's jacket where they rubbed against his fingertips.

There was a limousine waiting to take them away. If he'd been in the company of anyone but Demyx, Roxas would have been a bit surprised to find such a luxurious welcoming party, but he shrugged it off. He handed his bag to the driver and slipped into the limo. The seats were leather, their cool surface a relief against Roxas's skin after the long, stuffy train ride. The frigid air pouring from the vents that seemed to be set at every angle was a nice touch, too. He settled into the seat beside Xemnas and lay his head on the boy's shoulder while they watched Marluxia and Zexion raid the mini-bar.

"I'm tired." Roxas muttered to his friend, who hadn't lost any of his stiffness.

"You won't be once we get to the house." Xemnas said, frowning a bit in disapproval as Marluxia urged Zexion to drink an entire mini bottle of Vodka in one shot.

"You alright?" Roxas whispered, putting a hand on Xemnas's chest. Xemnas looked down at the pale appendage that stood out stark against his tight black shirt. The lights inside the limo were out now, the only light spilling from the tiny blue lights that ran along the bottom of the seats. Roxas's hand looked not like that of a ghost, but of an angel.

"I'm fine." Xemnas managed to choke. Roxas grinned a tad and leaned up, kissing Xemnas gently on the cheek.

"Liar." he giggled.

"You got me." Xemnas said, now holding his breath to keep from inhaling Roxas's sweet scent. The limo glided on and on through the town, and Roxas kept glancing out the window in awe at all the little shops along the street with their neon signs ablaze in the dark. Marluxia cracked a window and the unmistakable smell of fresh seafood drifted in, making Roxas's stomach rumble. By the time they reached Demyx's home, he was ready to jump right into the ocean and eat the first fish he saw.

Demyx's massive driveway was very well lit, casting enormous shadows on the even bigger home. It was impossibly large, with windows full of shimmering glass and a large wooden patio that stretched all the way around on the ground floor. Inside was even nicer. Roxas was expecting marble and chandeliers, but it looked like a rustic sea-side shack with stressed wood walls and floors. If sea-side shacks had grand pianos in the foyer, that is. Roxas was so busy looking at the aged wood walls, he failed to notice a slightly plump, rosy cheeked woman come walking up behind him.

"Oh, you must be Demyx's new friend!" she exclaimed as she hugged him. Roxas froze for a moment, then took in her pale golden hair and bubbly attitude and assumed it was Demyx's mom. He smiled and hugged her back. After making a fuss over everyone Demyx had brought with him and of course, Demyx himself, she invited them into the huge dining area to enjoy the largest seafood meal Roxas had ever laid eyes on. His tiredness suddenly gone, he ate plate after plate of lobster in butter sauce, scallops wrapped in bacon and freshly caught sea bass. He noticed Demyx was only eating a sandwich and asked him why.

"I don't like eating fish. I think it's mean to go out there and catch innocent sea creatures while they're just swimmin' along, minding their own business. I know_ I'd_ hate to be gouged on a hook, taken home and thrown into a frying pan. Poor little guys." Demyx said sympathetically as his eyes roved over a sea bass where it lay on the plate, it's eyes and mouth open. Roxas suddenly felt very guilty, so he settled for nibbling on the bacon that surrounded the scallops the rest of the night, leaving the lumps of white on his plate.

To Roxas's surprise, when they'd all eaten their fill, they didn't retire to separate guest rooms. Instead, Demyx and company retreated to an enormous room upstairs that was filled with large, plush sofas and several enormous pillows, all in sea-foam green. Zexion flopped down on one of the overstuffed cushions, his slight frame barely making a dent in the soft fabric. Demyx gently brushed what looked like a large wooden chest of drawers, and Roxas was surprised to see a large flat screen television come rising out of it. Instead of a T.V show, however, a swirl of colors began dancing on the screen to the beat of the song that was being pumped through the surround sound speakers.

"Silversun Pickups!" Demyx cried happily, pointing to one of the speakers over his shoulder as he collapsed on top of Marluxia, who had claimed two of the large pillows. Marluxia only smiled and leaned his head back against the plush fabrics, twisting his fingers in the hair at the base of Demyx's neck.

Roxas settled into a couch beside Zexion who was being surprisingly nice, either for the opportunity to be away from that confounded school, or because he was slightly buzzed. Whatever the case, he and Roxas had a long conversation about the newest gaming platforms and Zexion actually managed to convince Roxas to listen to some of his 'emo' music for a bit. Zexion was asleep before Roxas had a change to give him back the MP3 player, but he would be sure to tell him that Bayside does not suck as he previously thought.

One by one, Roxas's friends began falling asleep. The first one to pass out had been Zexion, who had apparently been awake all night before in the school's darkroom while he developed pictures for his photography class. Then Demyx drifted off, his head comfortably rested on Marluxia's chest. Marluxia nodded off too, his arms wrapped around Demyx protectively. Roxas wondered if Demyx's parents ever thought their son might be on the not-so-straight side, but he doubted it would matter. He'd never seen so much doting over a child by their parents. And he wasn't even an only child! There were pictures of young Demyx and a slightly older blond girl that he surmised to be his sister. Roxas guessed she'd moved out of the house.

The CD that had been in the DVD player played it's last song and the room went silent. Only then did Roxas notice that Xemnas had been absent since dinner. He hadn't gone downstairs, so where else could he have gone? In the glittering glow of the tiny Christmas lights that had already been hung in the entertainment room, Roxas began creeping across the wooden floor to the large sliding glass door that was covered in a light blue curtain. If there was a balcony, that was the only place Xemnas could have been.

Sure enough, when Roxas pulled back the curtain and stared out, he saw Xemnas leaning against the metal railing, staring out at the ocean. He looked so god-like in the moonlight, Roxas wasn't even entirely sure if the being he was looking at was human. As if feeling his stare, Xemnas looked over his shoulder, then motioned through the glass for Roxas to join him. Roxas carefully opened the door so not to wake his sleeping friends, and joined Xemnas out on the small stretch of wood.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Xemnas sighed, looking out at the waves that were crashing only a few yards from Demyx's back porch.

"Incredible." Roxas nodded, his eyes flickering this way and that over the waves that seemed to carry the moonlight it's self to shore. Xemnas pulled a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and put on in his mouth, again offering it to Roxas.

"I told you, I don't smoke." Roxas insisted.

"They're not strong. And they're menthol. Early Christmas gift from Zexion." Xemnas said, his words muffled a bit by the cigarette.

"Xemnas..." Roxas whined over the crashing of the waves.

"Peer pressure." Xemnas sang, a smile on his lips. Roxas finally caved, taking a cigarette from his pack. It wasn't his first time smoking. By some weird twist of fate, Sora had been friends with Seifer at one point and would hide his cigarettes in the house so Seifer's parents wouldn't find them. Roxas had been curious one day and tried one. To his surprise and the shame of all cliches, he didn't start choking immediately and his eyes didn't water. The experience was actually somewhat pleasant. His fingertips began to tingle and his head swelled with the nicotine high, but he didn't feel sick. He just never felt the need to smoke again since that instant. But there was something about Xemnas he couldn't say 'no' to.

"You're good at that." Xemnas commented as Roxas put the cigarette between his lips and lit it, a hand up to guard the tiny flame against the wind from the sea.

"It's not that hard to smoke a cigarette." Roxas remarked.

"Maybe not, but it's a tad harder to look sexy while doing it." Xemnas murmured, leaning in a bit. It was now that Roxas caught the scent of fine liquor on his breath. He wasn't sure why at the moment, but that was bad. Very, very, very bad.

"And I look sexy when I smoke?" Roxas asked, bringing a sly smile to Xemnas's lips.

"You do. I wasn't sure you would but I was wrong." he said. His eyes flickered over Roxas's face, focusing over and over on his eyes. "Do_ I_ look sexy when I smoke?" he asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't looking." Roxas felt his stomach churn as he felt like he was verbally cheating on Axel right now. Xemnas nodded and leaned back against the railing, unbuttoning his white shirt, letting fly open in the breeze, the fabric gently brushing all the tanned plains of his chest and stomach. He narrowed his glorious eyes to Roxas.

"How 'bout now?" he muttered, taking a puff and letting it escape his lips slowly, caught on the wind that ruffled his pale hair. Roxas felt a lump in his throat as he looked Xemnas up and down, a lump growing elsewhere as well.

"Yes." he choked, turning away in shame as he feebly puffed his cigarette, the ash having grown long in his shock. Suddenly, he felt warm fingertips brush the skin of his stomach, smelled Xemnas's hair as it fluttered into his face. From behind him with deft intention, Xemnas slowly began pulling the shirt from Roxas's body and to his surprise, he wasn't resisting. To the contrary, he dropped the cigarette and lifted his arms, turning around and throwing himself into Xemnas's embrace once he found his chest bared.

Xemnas's skin was so soft and warm. Firmer than Axel's and at the same time, more supple. He groaned as Xemnas's lips found his neck, kissing and sucking along the pale flesh up to his ear. He wrapped his arms around Xemnas and held tightly, as the older boy began running a hand slowly down his chest to the waist of his pants. A vision of Axel in the moonlight above him, panting and groaning, whispering 'I love you' flashed in Roxas's mind and he pulled himself away from Xemnas, breaking the gravitational trance.

"I'm sorry, Roxas." Xemnas murmured, seeing the hurt in those stunning cerulean eyes.

"No... _I_ am." Roxas mumbled, picking up his shirt and pulling it back over his head.

"I mean... Axel's my friend. The test. God, I failed the test." Xemnas chastised himself. Roxas froze.

"What...test?" he asked, his eyes suddenly full of suspicion.

"Axel knows I like you and he told me this trip was a test." Xemnas groaned, the alcohol in his brain yielding his secrets.

"He did what?!" Roxas hissed, suddenly furious. "He told me the ticket was a gift!"

"No." said Xemnas. "He handed it to me and said 'consider this a test'."

"That..." Roxas stuttered. Unable to find a word, he growled angrily and turned to go back inside the house._ "I'm a test. A TEST! He doesn't care about me! He set me out here as bait for his friend! I should have known!" _he thought angrily, the image of Axel's smiling face bringing livid tears to his eyes.

"Wait...Roxas?" Xemnas's voice made it's way over the sound of the water. His hand on the door, Roxas froze.

"What?" he demanded harshly.

"Could I have a kiss?" Xemnas pleaded. Roxas looked over his shoulder at the boy. Once so magnetic, he now looked broken and defeated. More like a a specter in this light, and less like a god.

Maybe it was his pity for Xemnas. The guy obviously liked him. Or maybe it was his anger with Axel and single-mindedness for revenge of some kind, but he strode across the small space and threw his arms around Xemnas, kissing him wildly. Not like he'd ever kissed Axel. There was no love in it at all. Only burning hatred that masked the pain he felt of being a card and nothing more to the boy he loved. Xemnas's fingers twisted drunkenly in Roxas's hair as he kissed him over and over. Sometimes only a peck, sometimes as wet as the ocean just below them. Roxas didn't care. With every brush of his lips to Xemnas's, he was proving that this test was the worst idea possible. Finally Xemnas pulled Roxas away from him, grinning.

"Wow." he muttered. Roxas said nothing, but realized now that there was a faint bit of light dancing on the metal of the railing. He looked over his shoulder in time to see Zexion's stunned face staring at him through the glass door before the boy let the curtain go as he dashed away. As the curtain fell, so did a lead weight through Roxas's stomach.

"Did he...did he see us?" Xemnas asked fearfully, all traces of inebriation gone. Roxas didn't respond. He only stared at the fabric as it swayed gently in Zexion's wake. There was no doubt in his mind that he would tell Axel, no matter how much begging and bribing Roxas did. He thought of the broken hurt in Axel's eyes when he got the news. Imagined him sinking onto his bed and fisting his hands in the sheets, trying to bite back the pain.

No amount of wrong-doing on Axel's part could ever atone for what Roxas had just done. With Xemnas's scent still on his shirt and the taste of his luscious lips on his own, Roxas realized this. He held his stomach and stumbled to the rails, unable to face Zexion's criticizing stare when he entered the room, unable to face Xemnas's shocked glances from the window to himself and back. He stared out at the water below, dark and churning. At that moment, he would have given anything to tumble over the rails and drown in it.

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Oh the angst!

I know a lot of people right now are like "Oh noes! Why is she doing this? That bitch!" but like all good stories, it has to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

'Lord of the Rings', case en point.

Poor Frodo.

Moving right along...

Leave me a review!

I eat them up like the attention grubbing whore I am.

Please and thank you.


	24. Stupid Boy

Grr rawr.

Okay, I know this is like... dragging on forever, but I promise it will end soon!

Don't shoot me!

-hides-

**Dedication: **

**ChaosGarden-** Your stories make me blush and do the happy fangirl dance! And your review brought me out of my creative slump of doom. Luvs!

**Axel-** Yet again, for being my awesome little sister and bomb diggity editor.

And of course, everyone else who's read this and reviewed like the wonderful people you are!

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"**Stupid Boy"**

Roxas stood for several moments on the balcony, looking into the water below that was black as death and seemed to mirror his thoughts and feelings with it's constantly turning, churning movements. He half expected Xemnas to say something. Anything. He faintly heard the scratching of the flint in a lighter and looked over to find Xemnas puffing thoughtfully on the end of another cigarette. As if reading Roxas's mind, he offered up the last cigarette in the pack. In complete awkward silence, they smoked. When Xemnas had smoked his to the butt, he tossed the filter over the side of the balcony to be swallowed up by the waves and headed inside.

Roxas was alone for only a moment when his cellphone vibrated in his pocket. He froze, wondering if enough time had passed for Zexion to rat him out, and for Axel to find a phone. With fingers that were slowly becoming numb with the suddenly biting cold, he pulled the little black flip-phone from his pocket and glared at the blue square on it's face. "Olette", it read. He knew it couldn't be good news. Not this late. And not from Olette. He didn't even consider going inside to mask the sound of the waves. Olette knew he wasn't at school.

"Hello, Olette." he muttered into the phone, waiting for an eruption of shrill cries and a sudden dial tone .

"How could you, Roxas?" Olette's soft voice was obviously pained, though the anger was there, bubbling just below the surface.

"How could I what?" Roxas attempted to save some kind of face.

"I went by your house to see if your parents would at least give me the address to the school so I could mail you your gift and Sora told me you were at a friend's house and not at the school!"

"I'm sorry." Roxas said, speaking like a robot as he glared up at the moon. He knew he'd regret telling Sora a damn thing.

"No you're not." spat Olette.

"You got me." Roxas sighed, becoming more and more of an unfeeling jerk every second.

"If you wanted to go to your new friend's house for the holidays, all you had to do was say so." Olette said, not losing an ounce of the venom in her voice.

"You would have been upset." Roxas reasoned.

"A bit, maybe. But not as furious as I am with you right now for lying to me. And Pence, and Hayner! And what about your family? They miss you like crazy, do you know that?" Olette growled.

"Why don't they call me, then?" Roxas droned, picking at the paint that was peeling off the railing.

"They do, Roxas. You're never in an area where you have reception to answer." Olette said. "And don't change the subject!"

"I wasn't trying to." Roxas said truthfully.

"Well I hope your little trip was worth it. Pence is upset and Hayner just might never speak to you again." Olette continued.

"He says that a lot." Roxas argued.

"I think he's serious this time, Roxas. And I don't blame him."

"Neither do I."

"You...you...jerk!" Olette shrieked. Roxas shrugged to himself.

"That I am." he sighed. "But if it makes you guys feel any better, this trip pretty much screwed my happiness for a long time."

"Good!" Olette cried, though he knew she'd never really mean she wanted him to be unhappy. "So what happened?" her curiosity got the best of her.

"I hurt someone I care about." Roxas said after a long pause.

"That seems to be your new hobby." Olette said coldly.

"Maybe..." Roxas whispered to the waves.

"Whatever. I just wanted to call and let you know that if you don't hear from any of us for a while, it's because you're a lying jerk." Olette snapped. "You got that?"

"Dually noted." Roxas sighed, his emotion switch on the 'off' side. "Goodbye, Olette."

There was a pause, as if Olette was going to say something, then a flat tone. She'd hung up, as she had all the right to do. Roxas exhaled deeply, looking over the shining piece of plastic in his hand. The battery was the only warmth left in his world right now. He'd hurt his friends, his family and Axel. Xemnas wasn't walking away from this unscathed, either. The little blue square on the cellphone face lit up, again saying "Olette". Roxas wasn't sure if she was calling back to lecture him further or to apologize for getting onto him in the first place. It didn't matter. With a resigned look splattered across his face, he let the phone slip from his pale fingers and into the ocean below.

The next few days passed in awkward silence between Roxas and Xemnas, both of them in a daze of sorts. Zexion hadn't said anything to either of them, though he couldn't seem to meet their eyes. Christmas morning came and went with Demyx receiving the new sitar Roxas had sent away for. He'd been hugged so tight by the tiny blond, he was positive there was damage to his internal organs. Everyone sat around listening to Demyx play slow, beautiful melodies, though they were nothing but sound to Roxas.

Xemnas unwrapped his gift of the entire "Twilight Town: A History" set with a heavy heart and a mumbled 'thanks'. Marluxia had taken the sword Roxas had given him and was outside, standing knee-deep in the water, swinging it around and laughing to himself. His baggy jeans were soaked to a dark blue, his loose pink shirt flapping around him like a flag in the wind. Demyx ran across the beach, sand flying from his dainty feet as he launched himself at Marluxia, sending both boys crashing into the waves. Roxas watched from over his cup of eggnog as Demyx wrapped his arms around Marluxia and giggled as the water lapped the sand around them.

Roxas pulled Demyx's gift of a beautiful black linen and silver button jacket tighter around his body and sighed, feeling emptier by the minute despite the copious amounts of eggnog he'd drunk since awakening. He absently wondered if Vexen would be surprised to see the brand new set of glass beakers on his bed when he got home. No matter how much he tried to console himself with the thoughts of his friends' smiles, everything wound up right back on Axel's face.

Their final night's stay in Demyx's beautiful home was upon them, making Roxas more uneasy than ever. Dinner was exquisite, though he expected nothing less from Demyx's doting mother. A thick steak had been prepared on Demyx's behalf and he was more than pleased to be eating something besides a sandwich. All but three at the table were greedily munching on the decadent meal.

Xemnas had piled his plate high with lobster tail, butter sauce and all the sides he could manage, though they remained untouched in front of him. Roxas hadn't even made the attempt to fake his meal, settling for nibbling absently on a flaky biscuit, the crumbs falling from his lips to the shining silver plate. And strangely, Zexion showed no interest in the meal as well, as he was busy furiously jabbing at the keys of his cellphone, the light of the screen casting a blueish glow from under the table.

Roxas and Xemnas were both far too distracted to notice the color drain from the slender boy's face. They didn't pick up on the way he flipped the phone shut with sickened finality. They also failed to see him close his eyes and sigh deeply, the universal sign of a man who wished he could have back the previous 30 seconds of his life.

That night, it was back to the "crash room" as Demyx called it. Roxas stretched out on a couch with his back to everyone else while Demyx made use of Marluxia's chest for a pillow yet again. Zexion fell into an uneasy sleep with his knees to his chest on an enormous cushion of the other couch. Xemnas retreated outside as he always did. After a few moments of tossing and turning on the couch, Roxas sighed and followed him.

Back out on that damned balcony, he stared intently at Xemnas's back, though the older boy didn't acknowledge his presence in the slightest. He only puffed slowly on yet another cigarette. He looked so much different now than he had nights prior. He looked drained, uneasy. Not that Roxas blamed him.

"Thank you for my gift." his voice came suddenly, cutting through the sound of the waves. Roxas lowered his eyes.

"What're we gonna do about Zexion?" Roxas finally asked him, not about to settle for petty smalltalk when his guilt was slowly eroding his stomach lining. Xemnas hung his head between his shoulders and flung his cigarette over the balcony.

"I have no idea." he finally admitted, turning around and leaning on the black metal, staring at Roxas. Despite everything, he was still so good-looking. That knowledge made Roxas want to puke.

"Have you talked to him yet?" the smaller boy ventured.

"I haven't. I'd rather just tie a cement block to his ankles and toss him overboard." Xemnas grunted, motioning with his head to the raging waters behind him. Roxas reasoned it wasn't a half-bad idea.

"Axel is gonna kill me." he whimpered. Xemnas's face relaxed and he sighed with sympathy for the boy, knowing the whole thing was his fault. Maybe he could play that to his advantage...

"Maybe not." said the boy with hair like the moon. "We could just tell him that I forced myself on you or something."

"You're joking." Roxas cringed, imagining what kind of unholy hell Axel would wreak if he was told something like that.

"I'm not. Zexion might tell him otherwise, but no one trusts that kid anyway. He'll believe you." Xemnas began reaching for his cigarettes again.

"I'm done lying to the people I love." Roxas mumbled, feeling bile rise in his throat as he remembered the hurt in Olette's voice. "Besides, I wouldn't do that to you."

"Your funeral." Xemnas huffed, pressing another cigarette between his lips and searching for a lighter. Anger flashed in Roxas's eyes as he strode across the balcony, tearing the cigarette from Xemnas's mouth, crushing it in his cold fingers.

"How can you be so insensitive?!" he accused, pushing Xemnas violently against the rails, making the other boy hiss in pain.

"I'm not being insensitive! I told you what to say!" Xemnas shot back.

"I won't lie to him." Roxas insisted, holding the tears of grief and shame back with a bite.

"Then go ahead. Tell him the truth. Tell him that because of his little game, I got exactly what I wanted and for a brief moment, he was replaced. Go on. Tell him that. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. Might even tie a celebratory ribbon around his pale little wrist." Xemnas's words were poison as he wrapped his large fingers around his own wrist to emphasis his point. The bottom fell out of Roxas's stomach and his eyes darkened.

"You're a monster." he spat at Xemnas, turning on his heel.

"Sticks and stones. You're the one that kissed me." Xemnas reached for yet another cigarette. Roxas's fists clenched.

"You asked me to!" he knew it wasn't a very valid argument, but it was all he had.

"You sound surprised." Xemnas scoffed, lighting the end.

"I am. A bit." Roxas admitted.

"You really are fuckin' blind, kid." chuckled Xemnas humorlessly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Roxas demanded, the urge to slap Xemnas becoming increasingly difficult.

"I like you." Xemnas said, emphasizing each word as if speaking to an infant. Though he wasn't entirely sure why, this took Roxas aback. He'd expected the entire thing was some kind of twisted lust. Maybe Xemnas's need to always be in control of things. To always be the best.

"You do?" he asked, stunned.

"Roxas, I've only kissed three people in my lifetime. You included." Xemnas said, his eyes stern behind a cloud of smoke.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Roxas began to feel betrayed, he wasn't sure why.

"Because. From the moment he saw you, Axel's been nuts about you. I couldn't do that to my friend." Xemnas replied.

"Hasn't it been hard?"

"Excruciatingly painful. In a way, I regret ever putting you in Theater. But then...seeing how happy it made you..." Xemnas shook his head, taking another long drag.

"So what happens now?" Roxas questioned, pressing a hand to his black Dir en Grey t-shirt, his stomach doing acrobatics.

"Now..." Xemnas blew out a puff of smoke, sending his finished cigarette over the rails to join the others. "I'm going to go inside. And pretend to sleep. And you're going to do the same. Tomorrow we go home and then the shit's gonna hit the fan like you would not believe."

"You really think Zexion will tell Axel.?"

"Of course he will. Sneaky, scheming little bastard that he is..." Xemnas growled.

"So encouraging." Roxas huffed.

"That's life, kiddo." Xemnas sighed, placing a tentative hand on Roxas's shoulder. "I'd still take the fall for you, ya know."

"No. I've got to man up and do what's right." Roxas waved it off. The thought of Axel's certain pain was almost too much to bear, but he couldn't keep lying. Especially not to Axel.

"Stupid boy..." Xemnas muttered, opening the sliding glass door and stepping inside. Roxas grinned darkly.

Maybe he _was_ stupid. He was fine with that. All stupidity aside, at least he couldn't be called a liar. Not by anyone. Not ever again.

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VICTORY!!  
I finally finished this chapter!

Ugh...it's been so hard.  
I lost inspiration halfway through and was doing it paragraph by paragraph and it just...blah.

But when a certain someone (you know who you are, miss Vice President) threatened not to post her Halloween fic, it put the fear of Jenova in me and lookie thurr!

A finished chapter!!

More to come soon, too.

Reviews are much loved!!

(luz...'Jenova's Witnesses.' XD)


	25. Old habits die hard

Blah de blah.

My drive's come back juuuuuust a tad. Let's see if I can make it work, eh?

**Musical inspiration: **"Call me" by Blondie. (helluva song)

**Dedication:** Always to my readers and people who read _**AND REVIEW!**_

And to **ChaosGarden**, my muse.

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"**Old habits die hard"**

As Xemnas had predicted, neither he or Roxas slept. They both only lay there on opposite ends of the room, watching the sky slowly lighten outside the large bay window with it's chiffon drapes and ominous presence. Roxas could hear Xemnas sigh deeply every now and then and despite himself, wanted to be there to comfort him.

Once or twice he heard something akin to the shuddering sighs choked with tears that he'd cried earlier. Roxas lay there on the soft cushion, rubbing his fingertip against the fabric absently as he tried to drown out Xemnas's silent sounds of remorse. When he finally managed to get his mind off of the other boy's words and suffering, it wandered to Axel. Roxas was grateful when Demyx finally began stirring around 7 am, gently nudging his friends awake.

Roxas sat up on the couch, pretending to be drowsy only long enough to convince Demyx he'd gotten a good night's sleep. Then, carefully stepping over Marluxia, he pulled on his tattered gray jacket and began searching the house with a clearer mind than his friends, for his things. Putting everything back into it's rightful place within his suitcase, Roxas waited in the dining room for the breakfast that would be generously presented in moment's time.

Without fail, his friends gathered around him as they all enjoyed a quick, final meal from Demyx's mother before the perky blond made a terrible scene about her "precious baby DemDem" leaving, and ushered them out the door to the limo that was waiting to take them back to the station.

Roxas's second ride in the limousine was far less magical than his first. The ride now felt bumpy, not smooth. And the town Demyx called home was shroud in the same dreadful overcast that plagued the school he was soon to be on a train back to. Everyone was silent, though Roxas knew it was from early morning drowsiness, not the feeling of terror that gripped his heart.

Demyx was asleep against Marluxia's shoulder, the older boy pulling the blond close and, out of habit it seemed, kissing the top of his head as they swayed with the motion of the car. Zexion had the hood of his black jacket up and his face turned away, guarding his pale features and shining eyes from the twin sets of curious and fearful stares that bore into him from across the small space of the limousine.

Xemnas had his liquid amber assets fixed on Zexion, the rest of his face as hard and cold as the window on which he leaned his head, feeling the night's lack of sleep. His hands rested in his lap against dark blue denim, though a finger would occasionally twitch from the stress put on the nerves with Xemnas's attempt to keep said fingers from wrapping around Zexion's throat. His chest rose and fell steadily, though if one looked close enough at the tight white fabric, they could see that the breaths were measured, and forced into the ruse of calmness.

Roxas however, was the complete opposite. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his jacket to hide the way they trembled. His usually perky spikes were crushed and uncared for against his head, which hung lazily, his chin pressed to the black cotton of his shirt. His eyes occasionally traveled to Zexion's enigmatic figure, but never lingered long. He heaved great sighs that went unnoticed in the limo as it rumbled toward the station.

The great black beast of a vehicle stopped and the drowsy friends stumbled out of it, collecting their luggage and hauling it through the gates. Marluxia wrapped an arm around Demyx, who's luggage he willing carried with his own. Roxas nearly wanted to smack them both. How dare they be so happy together?

He watched the silent chemistry between his friends, marveling at how they seemed to be so in tune with each other, even walking was like an elaborate dance. Their hands would swing dangerously close, then fall away, teasing and taunting while their eyes locked as lips moved, each completing the other's sentence. Roxas wondered why one of them didn't wrap his arms around the other boy's neck and proclaim his obvious affection, then he felt his stomach twist tighter.

"_Because bad things happen when you're somebody's boyfriend..."_ he thought bitterly to himself, stepping onto the train that he desperately wished would crash on the way back to the Academy, throwing him across the cabin and into a wall of shattered glass. The pain from the crystalline shards piercing every inch of his skin would be easier to bear than the look in Axel's eyes.

As soon as the train ride began, it ended, and Roxas found himself staring at the familiar cobblestone station, though the sense of fear was the same as it had been when he first laid eyes on it. His nerves wound tighter and tighter as he scanned the station for any sign of those crazy red spikes.

He saw students of all shapes and sizes, some of them he even recognized from consistently passing them on his way to class. A few kids from his art period waved at him as he swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to wave back. From the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of hair that was indeed shocking, though not red.

It was a shining silvery blue, like water under starlight. Saix had come to welcome him back. Why? The boy was standing there on the cobblestone, nervously fingering a beautiful crescent moon pendant on a delicate silver chain that one could only assume had been a Christmas gift. In only the few short weeks since he'd given up his medicinal dependency, his shape and color had returned quite noticeably, though his cheeks were an ashy gray with obviously terrible news.

"Hey Roxas." the boy attempted as smile, his surprisingly deep voice such a welcome variance from the angry voice of Roxas's subconscious.

"Sai..." Roxas grinned, pulling Saix into a tight hug. Soft fingers twisted carefully in honey brown hair as it seemed like Saix was trying to shield Roxas from something horrid.

For there having been a time when Roxas couldn't stand Saix, it was almost shocking how comforting the other boy's presence was to him now. His smell was so unique and calming, Roxas was thankful to pressing his face into Saix's favorite (and much worn) 'The Killers' sweatshirt. As much as Roxas didn't want it to end, Saix pulled out of the hug and stared down at Roxas, his usually serene face suddenly very serious.

"Roxas, I need to talk to you..." he murmured. Again, a giant block of lead sailed through Roxas's torso, crashing at his feet. He nodded, allowing himself to be lead away from the crowd to a small wrought iron bench. Saix sat first on the cold metal and Roxas followed suit, slowly going numb from the cold and dread of the impending conversation.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer would be. He'd expected Zexion wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut, especially with Saix always prying in everyone's business. Some part of him had still hoped though that Saix would stay out of it.

"Axel's pretty upset." was all the older boy had to say. If there was any warmth left in Roxas's small body, it was now gone, taking his voice with it for a moment.

"You wanna run that by me again?" he rasped, his eyes wide and threatening to fill with tears.

"Look, I don't believe Zexion. I don't think anyone does. Except Axel. There's something that someone's not sayin' about Xemnas but..." Saix began when Roxas clapped a cold and clammy hand over the boy's soft, pale lips. Taking a few deep breaths, Roxas stared into the other boy's shining eyes.

"Does...Axel...know?" he spoke slowly to make himself more than clear on the question, and to prevent any sudden jerking in his stomach that would send his cornflake and sardine breakfast spilling into Saix's lap. The other boy quirked an eyebrow and pulled away from Roxas's hand.

"You mean it's true?" he asked.

"That depends. What did Zexion say?" Roxas asked warily.

"That you slept with Xemnas." Saix said, wrinkling his nose at the very thought. Heat returned to every inch of Roxas as anger flashed through him, his thoughts suddenly very fixed on Zexion and on pissing on whatever would be left of the scrawny little sneak when he got done with him.

"I didn't sleep with Xemnas." Roxas said firmly, grinding his teeth quite audibly. Saix recoiled a bit, moving his own jaw back and forth as if watching Roxas was enough to make the sensitive joint ache.

"I know you didn't. I know you wouldn't do anything like that to Axel. But Axel believed Zexion and..." Saix's voice fell away into a murmur as he considered leaving it at that.

"And what?" Roxas insisted, his jaw still clenched.

"And now he's pretty pissed off." Saix said quickly, pulling on the hem of his faded black sweatshirt. Roxas sighed deeply.

"Where is he now?" he asked.

"In his dorm. He won't come out. Not even to eat. He's been like that for days. We're thinking of telling administration..." Saix rambled, though Roxas had already gathered the bags at his feet and stormed off through the throng of students, making his way up the long and narrow white gravel path to the enormous gates of the school.

By the time he reached the large iron gate, the soles of his feet ached and he was no longer certain if it was the painfully uneven ground or Zexion that he was calling a "stupid son of a bitch" under his breath. There were no sentries along the wall. Hadn't been for ages. Only a metal pole with a pinpad affixed to it. Roxas jarred his memory for the pin number he'd seen the driver input so long ago.

Assuming he had the right combination, he began tapping the little metal buttons with Roman numerals engraved on their faces in black. The first attempt failed, the little LCD screen flashed red, and the gates remained closed. Thinking harder on the memory, Roxas tried again, with no luck. Over and over he tapped the buttons, and harder with more and more frustration at each failed input.

"Stupid mother _fucker!_" he exclaimed, slamming his fist down on the pinpad, wishing immediately that he hadn't. Pain surged through his hand, and he cried out, cradling the pulsing fist to his chest as his anger ebbed. Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Roxas shifted his weight to his left foot as he waited for the caravan of sedans carrying students back to the school.

The first sedan was driven by a man that looked to be no older than Axel and he eyed Roxas suspiciously. Not wanting to waste effort with words, he simply flashed the driver his school ID. The man looked it over briefly, nodded, and motioned for Roxas to move aside. Pretending not to, Roxas managed to steal a glance at the numbers being pressed. 'V I I I'.

Not even bothering to wait until the gates had opened enough for the car to squeeze through, Roxas reclaimed his bags and drug them, and his feet, through the white gravel and towards his dorm. He felt like a shaken can of soda, bubbling and agitated as he dropped his bags unceremoniously at the foot of the stone steps, not wanting to waste any time at all. He ignored Vexen's cry of "Hey, Roxas!" from the propped open door of the common room. Apparently Xaldin wasn't back yet.

His feet were practically begging for reprieve when he stepped onto the smooth stone steps inside Axel's dorm, taking them two at a time. At the top of the stairs stood Xigbar, leaning against the door, looking older than all of them. When Roxas's footsteps caught his attention, he shot the nastiest of looks at the small boy. Roxas felt those daggers all over his face and cringed.

"You don't honestly believe Zexion do you?" he huffed, now fully aware of just how much sweating and panting he was doing. Xigbar only glared.

"I don't care who you are, kid...Axel's my bud. Has been for a while. If what that wispy lil son' bitch said is true, so help me god, I will _hurt you._" he hissed. Roxas swallowed hard and nodded, flinching as Xigbar brushed past him and down the stairs.

Taking a deep breath, Roxas gave the wooden door a few solid knocks, listening carefully to the room's inhabitant. There was a sniffle and a congested "What?".

"Axel?" Roxas called, his face pressed to the door. The sniffling stopped. In fact, it seemed as if every sound in the world disappeared as he waited for Axel's voice. After a long moment, it came.

"Come in."

Roxas forced the bile back down his throat and pushed open the door, letting it swing inward. Just as he thought, Axel was there on the bed. Sitting right on the edge of it, looking more miserable than any image his most depraved imagination could conjure. He looked broken. And so, so sad. Like a refugee of some horrible disaster.

His hair was unbrushed and hanging limp on his shoulders, though the locks were lackluster and tangled. His skin was blanched and his face tear streaked. His eyes had lost that deep glow and were devoid of their usual tiny hint of liquid eyeliner.

Roxas was almost positive he'd lost weight as well. The black longsleeved shirt that he wore used to cling to his slender frame, though it now hung loosely, the plunging neckline showing off his protruding collarbone. Everything about him looked so sickly. So near death. Roxas suddenly hated himself with every ounce of his being.

The tears that had threatened him all morning began streaming down his cheeks as he fell to his knees in front of Axel, wrapping his arms around the tiny waist, sobbing into his shirt. It took a moment, but Axel eventually wrapped one slender limb around Roxas's shaking back. When the younger boy finally regained composure, he looked up at Axel, not expecting to see the hurt and poison in his otherwise dead eyes.

"You don't really believe Zexion, do you?" he whispered his plea. Axel's lips twitched as his mind worked behind those sightless eyes.

"I don't know." he said truthfully.

"Axel, I wouldn't do that to you." Roxas insisted, clutching a handful of the soft cotton shirt.

"Maybe you wouldn't. But Xemnas might."

"Xemnas wouldn't do that either." Roxas glared.

"You don't know him as well as you'd like to think, Roxas." Axel sighed, as if this was all very boring. Roxas bit the inside of his mouth and stood slowly, taking one of Axel's hands, though the boy didn't even look up.

"I know him well enough."

"Apparently." Axel scoffed cruelly. Roxas's mouth twisted into a scowl.

"That was low." he pointed out, though was still stroking the cold hand in his. Axel said nothing, but stood, pulling away from Roxas and moving to stand in the tiny bit of sunlight that streamed in through the window.

"Maybe it was all too soon." he mused out loud to himself, shaking his head.

"Maybe what was too soon?" Roxas ventured. Axel spun around on his heel and stared at him.

"Everything." he snapped. "The dating, the sex...everything!"

"Don't be like that, Axel..." Roxas groaned, feeling a stress-induced headache begin pulsing in his temple. He stepped forward into the sunlight and put a hand on Axel's shoulders. The boy flinched, but did not pull away.

"I didn't sleep with him." Roxas murmured, reassuringly.

"Don't lie to me." Axel said, though it sounded more like a desperate plea than an accusation. Roxas stood in front of Axel and put a hand on each shoulder, staring into his eyes like he had that day at in the Blackbox. The day he knew the boy in front of him would change him forever.

"I'm not lying." he whispered. Fresh tears began rolling down Axel's face as he pulled Roxas into a hug, burying his face in the sweetly scented hair.

"I love you..." he sobbed, fingers gently digging into the other boy's back. "I love you so much." Roxas could only return the embrace and nod, nuzzling the soft skin.

"What did you do, then?" Axel whispered, finally breaking the hold.

"Huh?" Roxas mumbled, so drugged by the embrace he could barely stand.

"Zexion had to have seen you do something." Axel reasoned.

"I didn't do anything.." Roxas lied, never having felt worse in his life. There was silence as Axel contemplated the words. Roxas waited for him to see right through the lie, but harsh words never came. Instead, there was the cool sensation of fingertips on his chin, tilting it upward.

The rush of Axel's lips on his own drugged Roxas to the point of incoherency, and he lost himself to the tingling sensation of Axel's hand pressed against his lower back. He vaguely registered his shirt being pulled from his body. Barely understood the workings of Axel's belt as he pulled it from the bluejeans he wore. All he really knew at that moment was the feeling of Axel's teeth on his earlobe, and his breathy, panting, wanting words in his ear...

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This actually wound up going sliiiiiiightly different than what I wanted, but it still turned out great.

And the next chapter is going to be amazing!!

I love my job.

-noms cookie of awesome jobness-

They're called REVIEWS, people.

Take three minutes of your time and leave one.

Please?


	26. Delicate

Okies.

As promised to an awesome certain somebody, a decent (semi-fluffy, kinda angsty) LEMON!! Hooray!

Bear with me as I go slightly songfic-y on you for a moment.

**Musical Inspiration:** "Somebody told me"- The Killers

**Dedication:** My incredible readers and reviewers who are still stickin' it out with me.

**ChaosGarden- **For understanding my Axel/Turk obsession and providing me with copious amounts of inspiring yaoi deliciousness. And for being the only one willing to listen to me ramble on and on about 30 different ideas for one simple chapter.

**Axel-** Dearest little sister and trusted beta reader... get an account so I can call you 'Axel' without confusing people! Love you!

**Poetoflife14- **Who's proved that there ARE people who still read this thing! And for leaving reviews that make me smile like an idiot.

**The Flurry of Destiny- **For having an awesome username (me moron), complimenting my vocabulary and for being a fellow Axel-abuser!

**B e c k a r c h- **Who's been right on board with this little freakshow since the beginning. Your reviews make my day!

**Yume Hamanaka- **New readers make me smile like a fat kid locked in the candy store overnight. Glad you like!

**grapedragon- **Another wonderful reader/reviewer who's name I've seen pop up beside many a heartwarming review.

**LupinandHarry- **I'm sorry for grossing you out with the Xemnas/Roxas thing. I promise it will get better! Thanks for reading with a critical eye and always reviewing!

To everyone who has read, has reviewed, and to my non-member readers, a million thanks and then some! May you wake up one morning to Reno and Vincent Valentine in very little clothing bringing you breakfast in bed.

Huzzah!

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"**Delicate"**

"_**We might kiss when we are alone. When nobody's watching, might take it home. We might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate..."**_

Roxas gasped lightly as Axel's fingertips trailed slowly down his chest, turning the blood in his veins to molten lust. He carefully wrapped his trembling fingers around Axel's hand, entwining his fingers in Axel's own pale digits. He buried his face in the crook of Axel's neck and breathed deep, making the other boy smile warmly as he pulled Roxas back into view, planting a warm, wet kiss on his lips.

Roxas groaned loudly at Axel's sudden fervor, wrapping his arms around his neck as the boy's fingers clutched at his pants, clumsy with passion. In the back of his mind, Roxas was screaming at himself. He'd lied. Even when he promised he wouldn't. It was something about those eyes, that beautiful soul...he couldn't bring himself to break it. His mind was wiped clean as Axel's fingers began undoing the button of his blue jeans.

Roxas gently brushed Axel's hands away and gave his zipper a tug, letting his pants fall to the floor as he stepped out of them, backing up towards the bed and dragging Axel with him. Axel collapsed on top of Roxas, moaning sharply when he felt his swollen desire crushed against Roxas's, cursing the layers of clothing separating them.

"_**So why'd you fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known? And why'd you sing 'Hallelujah' if it means nothin' to ya? Why'd you sing with me at all?"**_

Emerald met sapphire with silent pleading for approval. A spark from one to another led to the painfully slow dragging of cotton across silken flesh, leaving it bare. A small gasp as strong fingers wrapped around Roxas with a firm, delicious grip. Gently rocking motions and fist twisted in cotton sheets as the world around them seemed to dim.

A warm, wet mouth replaced the hand, with a cry from the blond and a whimpered "A-Axel...". That tight, burning feeling that started in his chest worked it's way down Roxas's smooth stomach, exploding against the back of Axel's throat while the latter smiled, greedily lapping at his prize. Through hooded eyes, Roxas stared at the redheaded God before him, watched the boy wipe his lips slowly, seductively, smearing a glistening line of sex across his devilish grin.

Tentatively, Roxas reached out a shaking hand to stroke Axel's teasing erection. The redhead stiffened in every sense of the word, and bit back a hiss as he watched the beautiful boy work his strained sex. Smooth palm against warm, hardened flesh like the sweetest contradiction. Axel bent low, kissing Roxas fiercely as the boy tightened his grip, making Axel growl against his lips.

"Axel..." Roxas breathed, peppering kisses along the other boy's shoulder. "Axel I want you."

Axel felt a surge of warmth through his stomach at the words and sighed heavily, wanting nothing more than to take the boy before him. In response, he wrapped skilled fingers around Roxas's half-flaccid sex and began stroking hard and fast. Roxas cried out, throwing his head back and releasing Axel, gripping the sheets tightly with both hands. Axel grinned evilly and nipped Roxas's ear.

"_**We might live like never before. There's nothing to give, but how could we ask for more? We might make love in some sacred place, and the look on your face is delicate..."**_

One gentle, probing finger, then another. Carefully stroking in and out, eliciting moans and pleas and cries, just as decadent and maybe even more than the first time. Pulsing digits replaced by hard heat and groans from deep within Axel's chest as he moved. Slow at first, then snapping faster, groaning and straining his weakened muscles.

"I ..love you." he grunted loudly to Roxas between thrusts. The other boy only smiled, lost to the sensation that was growing once again in his abdomen. Axel slowed and stopped to brace himself better against the soft mattress, his arms far weaker than he remembered. And in so much more pain.

"What's wrong?" the blond mumbled, unhappy with the sudden loss of sensation. His eyes traveled from Axel's shoulders down his arm until they rested on the bandage he hadn't even seen before. The bandages were fresh, with only the tiniest hint of red glistening along the surface. The rising feeling in Roxas's stomach turned to angry sorrow, and Axel caught the change in his eyes.

"I'm sorry..." he muttered, pulling away from Roxas to cradle his arm to his chest with shame. Roxas sat up in a daze, trying to ignore the still burning ache of his lower region.

"You promised you wouldn't cut anymore.." he whispered accusingly. Axel winced and looked away.

"I thought you slept with Xemnas, alright?" he murmured in his defense. Roxas groaned in exasperation and slapped the black sheets irritably.

"Fuck's sake, all I did was kiss him!" he snapped, immediately regretting it. Axel's face turned to stone and he narrowed his eyes to the blond.

"You what?" he whispered. Roxas bit his lip and sighed, wishing he looked a little less vulnerable than the naked, trembling, aroused mess that he was.

"I kissed him. I think he was drunk...he told me you considered going there a challenge and I got mad..." the more he spoke, the worse he felt, and the sharper Axel's stare became.

"And that makes it okay?" Axel demanded, leaning forward on his injured arm which he suddenly didn't feel. Now hovering over Roxas, he kept his gaze fixed.

"No. But you promised you wouldn't cut! Breaking a promise is any better?" Roxas tried to keep his words strong though Axel's presence within two feet of him was enough to make for an embarrassing situation.

"_**So why'd you fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known? And why'd you say 'Hallelujah' if it means nothin' to ya? Why'd you sing with me at all?"**_

"Did you enjoy it?" Axel whispered, his voice bordering insanity.

"Enjoy what?" Roxas tried leaning away as Axel advanced, pinning the smaller boy's shoulders to the bed.

"Kissing him."

"No..." Roxas whispered truthfully. Axel snorted as if amused, and without warning, crushed Roxas's mouth beneath his own. When he pulled away, Roxas was wide-eyed.

"What's gotten into you?" he gasped, eyes roving over the beautiful face hovering before his. Axel kissed him again, softly this time.

"I'm hurting, Roxas." he said sadly. "Here..." he pointed to his arm wrapped in bandages. "And here." his tone was more solemn as he pointed to his heart beneath the pale skin of his chest, not taking his eyes off of Roxas. "I don't want to hurt anymore..." he sounded on the brink of tears.

"And how am I supposed to help?" Roxas inquired with a quivering tone. His answer came in the form of the warmth of Axel replaced within him. Sharp snapping hips and gasps and groans as the meaning suddenly became so clear.

Axel was in pain. And it was Roxas's fault. As he lay there beneath the man that had become his world, twisting fingers in his hair, running nails down his back, gasping his name as he begged for more, he began to understand what he had to do. Theirs was a sick relationship. One that spread like cancer, threatening to consume as the pleasure consumed every inch of Roxas's body while he climaxed. He was in love. Sick with it. They both were. And he knew it.

The afternoon waxed and waned outside of Axel's window as Roxas watched him sleep. Even while slumbering, he looked distraught. Like an angel with too much on his mind. An angel with flowing gossamer locks like blood and crimson-spotted gauze wrappings for wings.

In their passion, some of the bandages had loosed themselves and now lay slack around the frail appendage they concealed. Roxas's shuddering sigh roused Axel from his dreaming. He looked confused at first, as if he thought Roxas laying there on his bed, propped up on one arm might be part of the dream he'd awoken from. When he realized this treat was a reality, he smiled. Roxas however, did not return it.

"Something wrong?" Axel asked, his voice husky with sleep. Roxas nodded.

"You're sick." he said, realizing only now that there were tears in his eyes. Axel sat up, the black cotton pooling at his bare waist.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine. I'm a little on the starved side, but I'm gonna go have dinner." he said. Roxas closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, feeling the tears slide down his cheeks. Sighing, he pointed a trembling finger to Axel's loose bandages, revealing the hatch mark cuts, making the redhead cover them up hastily.

"Look, I'm sorry Rox." Axel said sheepishly. "I told you that. I'm not gonna do it again. I over reacted..."

"You're sick..." Roxas said again, dazed and holding back tears. Axel bit his lip and wrapped his arms around Roxas, holding the trembling boy close.

"Baby, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have been mad at you. I know better." he whispered into the hair like dingy sunlight. "I'll be okay..." he rubbed a hand against his back.

"No you're not." Roxas sobbed, pushing Axel away with a firm hand. "Look at you!" he cried. "I'm killing you."

"You're not doing anything wrong, Roxas." Axel insisted, searching for his discarded shirt in the mass of clothing on the bed. Roxas stood, pulling on his jeans, sniffling.

"Yes I am. I'm a poison, Axel..." he muttered before feeling Axel's arms on his waist.

"Roxas..." the other boy said, his words tickling his neck as they were spoken. "Roxas you're not a poison. You're not killing me..." he whirled Roxas around to stare into his eyes. "I didn't even know what living was until I met you." he whispered. Roxas shrugged out of his grasp, tears re-forming in his eyes.

"This isn't living." he slipped on his shoes and began heading for the door.

"Wait!" Axel called out to him. "Where are you going?"

"Someplace where I can't hurt you or lie to you anymore." Roxas whimpered from the doorway. There was a pleading hand on his arm, begging him to stay.

"Roxas, I'll die without you. I swear it!" Axel cried. Roxas pulled away, not able to bring himself to look back over his shoulders.

"You'll die if I stay." he said. "At least this new death will be relatively painless." without another word or glance or thought, Roxas dashed down the stone steps and out the door of the dormitory.

"_**So why'd you fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed from the only place you've known? And why'd you sing 'Hallelujah' if it means nothin' to ya? Why'd you sing with me at all?"**_

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Whoo!  
Okay, so I totally changed where I was going with this like... 12 freakin' times while writing!

I hope this chapter doesn't reflect that.

Oh yeah... the deal with the song...

The song is called "Delicate", it's by Damien Rice and it's just so hauntingly sad and beautiful I just HAD to use it. Look it up on youtube, it's amazing.

And for my fellow LOST fans, yes it is the song at the end of "...In translation" from season one.

And I know it seems that Axel regained a lot of strength in this chapter versus the previous one, but when it comes to carnal desire and emotion, no amount of physical weakness is gonna get in the way of your satisfaction.

I'm sure everyone can agree.

Anyway, it was a bit short.

But I can't write looooong lemons.

Just ain't my cup 'o tea.

And I really hope I get good feedback on this one.

For some reason, I'm uber proud of this chapter.

Is it because we're comin' up on the grand, almighty climax?

Perhaps.


	27. Run away

Lemme start out by saying "OMFG ANGST!!"

I know it seems like they're never happy or in good grace. But it gets better.

And OMFG REVIEWS!!

The positive feedback on all of this has been just... incredible. It's made me monumentally happy and encouraged me to keep going, even when I felt the story just kinda... crawled away and died.

**Musical Inspiration: **"Into the Ocean"- Blue October

**Dedication:** Readers, reviewers, and my esteemed Vice President.

**Disclaimer:** I just thought at this point that I'd reiterate that all characters and place names are belong to Tetsuya Nomura and Squeenix. No sue? No sue.

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"**Run away"**

Roxas felt like he was walking in a dream. Someone else's dream too, for that matter. He trudged along slowly, nudging small patches of snow away from the tip of his Converse shoes. They'd had record lows for snowfall that year. Instead of a beautiful blanket of virgin white, snow seemed to have been spattered from a heavenly paintbrush, splashed across the campus in little clumps that quickly became muddy and were beginning to melt. Everything was out of whack right now. Even the weather.

The cold didn't even seem to effect Roxas, though it seeped through the thin cotton of his jacket, pressing against his skin. He'd gone from sickened, to angry, to upset beyond all reason and now.. now he was just numb. As numb as the tip of his nose was becoming as he approached the building that housed Demyx and Xemnas, dearly hoping he wouldn't run into the latter.

Stepping up the stone stairs with a captive breath, Roxas pushed the door open slowly. To his great relief, Demyx was curled up on a large chair, carefully plucking the strings of his sitar. For a moment, Roxas's heart was lifted a tad at the sight of his friend enjoying his gift. The burst of cold air from the door made Demyx lift his head, smiling through strands of blond at Roxas.

"Hey Roxy!" he chirped, carefully laying the new sitar against the carpeted floor. "Haven't seen you since we got off the train, man." he walked briskly across the room to wrap Roxas in a hug.

"I got sidetracked." Roxas mumbled.

"Yeah I saw that... you were talkin' to Saix last I saw you." Demyx looked harder at his friend's face. "Everything alright?"

"Fine." Roxas lied. "And I'm-m... glad you like your gift." he smiled weakly, pointing to the sitar. Demyx glowed with a look that Roxas had only seen on the faces of new parents.

"She's beautiful." he swooned, looking over his shoulder admirably.

"Yeah..." Roxas whispered. "Think I could ask you for a favor, though?"

"No problem." Demyx smiled cheerily. Roxas realized that up this close, Demyx had perfect skin, perfect eyes, a beautiful mouth and a wonderfully proportioned face. And he had Marluxia, officially or not. For a brief second, he really wanted to hate the little guy.

"I need to borrow some munny." he croaked. "The holidays kinda wiped me out."

"No problem!" Demyx reached into his pocket and retrieved his wallet that was full of 1,000 munny notes. "How much?"

"4,000." Roxas answered him.

"4,000 munny? That's a train ticket, bro." Demyx said suspiciously, but counting the notes out nonetheless. He handed them to Roxas, but when the other boy took hold of the corners, Demyx held them firm, looking up into Roxas's eyes. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing Dem. I just have to go away for a while." Roxas muttered sadly, unable to meet Demyx's gaze.

"Go away? You just got here!" the other boy pointed out.

"That's the problem. Look, I don't have time to explain I just..." Roxas sighed, scratching the back of his head.

"It's because of what Zexion said, isn't it?" Demyx said slowly, releasing the munny notes.

"How the hell do you know about that?!" Roxas practically bellowed. Demyx recoiled a bit, but shrugged.

"Word travels fast?"

"And what word would that be?" Roxas demanded.

"That you slept with Xemnas." Demyx cringed. "But I totally don't believe it. I mean... I was right there. I would have heard or seen _something_. Besides, Xemnas has this whole 'untouchable' thing goin' on and..." Demyx rambled.

"All I did was kiss him. But then I lied and lied and lied some more and it's gotta end somewhere." Roxas cut him off firmly. A hand flew over Demyx's mouth.

"Oh no way!" he cried behind his slender palm. Roxas nodded sadly.

"Dude...that's..."

"Horrible, I know." Roxas finished. Demyx sighed, wringing his hands.

"It's better than losing your virginity to someone who's not even your boyfriend, though." he tied to make light.

"How the hell did you know I was a virgin?" Roxas raised an eyebrow, pulling a shrug from Demyx.

"Lucky guess."

"It was Axel, alright? I have no shame to say that." Roxas nodded.

"Oh my god... so... so you guys _did _have sex!" Demyx cried, sounding a lot like the twittering girls at lunch.

"How does everyone know shit like this?!" Roxas cried.

"It's assumed." Demyx quickly fibbed, not wanting to implicated Xigbar and his drunken honesty.

"Fantastic." Roxas groaned, shaking his head.

"But...that's good. I mean... you guys had your first times together and stuff. It's romantic." Demyx gushed, putting a hand on his shoulder. Roxas's eyes widened.

"Wait wait woah... woah..." he held up a hand. "'_Our _first times'?"

"Yeah." Demyx said, scratching his nose with a well manicured finger. "Axel is a virgin... _was_ a virgin."

"You've got to be kidding me." Roxas rasped, his throat dry.

"Naw, dude. What? Did you think he was some kind of super slut or something?" Demyx sort of chuckled.

"Well no but... I thought... at least one other..." Roxas wanted to kick himself square in the gut. "That's... so special. So monumental... why share it with me?"

"Because he loves you?" Demyx volunteered, folding his hands carefully behind his back.

"Oh my god... I'm a monster." Roxas said, fighting tears. "I gotta go..." he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door. He pushed it open and was on the second step down when he heard Demyx's soft voice call out to him.

"Wait! You can't leave!"

"I have to, Dem." he called back, not bothering to look.

"You don't know what that will do to him!" Demyx pleaded.

"No worse than what I'm doing now. I'll pay you back." He yelled, holding up the roll of notes before putting them back in his pocket and walking away, leaving a stunned Demyx in the door way.

The walk to the train station felt like it only took moments, the ride its self, only seconds. Before Roxas knew it, he was standing on Hayner's doorstep with no spare clothes, no munny and a heavy heart. Tentatively, he rapped on the door, and waited. He strained to see through the peep hole in the door, and held his breath as it opened slowly. He caught only a brief glance at Hayner before the boy's fist connected with his nose.

"Owwww!" Roxas cried, stumbling backwards, holding his face. "What the _fuck _was that for?!"

"Being a prick! You want another?" Hayner demanded, folding his arms.

"Hayner please, you gotta listen to me..." Roxas began, tenderly dabbing at his slowly bleeding nose with his fingertips. "I made a mistake."

"Yeah and you made an even bigger one comin' around here again." his friend snapped.

"Please let me explain!" Roxas begged. The sight of his bleeding buddy softened Hayner, if only a little and he scoffed, stepping aside and pointing to the doorway.

"In." he commanded. As Roxas brushed past him, hand over his nose, Hayner shut the door and locked it. Leaning against the green wood, he glared. "My mom gets home in ten minutes. You got five."

In the time it took for Roxas to successfully grovel to Hayner's liking, the five minute mark had passed. Evening came and went, Hayner's parent's not paying much attention at all. And by the time Roxas was getting to the whole reason why he'd split, he was sitting on his friend's bed, staring at the struggle posters uncomfortably.

"You see, Axel is uh..." Roxas struggled for words. He'd gone the entire day without mentioning Axel's relationship with him, and wasn't sure now how to do it. Hayner cocked an eyebrow Roxas took a deep breath. "Axel is my boyfriend."

At this, Hayner's jaw fell slack and his eyes bulged. If there had been a cricket in the room, even he would have been too stunned to chirp. Roxas felt his stomach twist.

"Please say something..." he whispered. It took a few moments, but the bewildered gleam had left Hayner's eyes and he shook his head, as if to set things right within it.

"Boy...boyfriend? As in... you guys are... in...er...em..." he stuttered.

"We are in a relationship, yes." Roxas said, his voice far more certain and confident than he felt.

"Oh holy shit..." Hayner breathed, reaching over onto his night table to grab the waterbottle and chug it's contents noisily before turning back to his friend. "You're serious." he stated.

"I'm very serious."

"And is the relationship very serious?" Hayner asked. "I mean.. have you guys..." he grimaced lightly as Roxas exhaled.

"Yes. I've had sex with him." he muttered.

"Oh geez!" Hayner cried, falling back against his pillow, hands over his face.

"Well that went better than I thought it would..." Roxas mused out loud, nodding.

"Look man, I don't have a problem with you being gay, alright?" Hayner began.

"Bi, actually."

"Bi. Whatever. But... but I totally never saw it coming." Hayner gaped at his ceiling. Roxas shrugged.

"That's life."

"Well that would certainly explain why you care so damn much about what he thinks of you. I mean... I can't imagine you leaving school because you upset a friend." Hayner reasoned.

"Yeah well, there's more to it than that." Roxas groaned.

"Oh..." Hayner chuckled, taking another swig of water. "Do tell."

"I cheated on him." Roxas sighed. At this Hayner sat up and stared at him.

"What the hell did that school _do_ to you? Do they have like... life-fuckering rays or something? Slip mind control pills into the food?" he asked, quite honestly.

"The food is great, actually." Roxas remarked absently, picking dirt from under his nails. "But I'm not."

"Well what the hell did you do?" Hayner asked.

"I kissed another guy. Xemnas. And uh... Zexion saw me, told Axel that I slept with Xemnas and now..." Roxas imitated a bomb dropping through the air and exploding on Hayner's comforter with his hands, complete with sound effects.

"I see. But it was just a kiss, right?"

"Just a kiss. I didn't even like it." Roxas grumbled.

"So what's the big problem?"

"Axel's fragile." Roxas whined after a moment of thought.

"Fragile?" Hayner mocked.

"Yes. Fragile."

"And you walked out on this particularly fragile and sensitive individual without so much as a goodbye fuck?" Hayner scoffed. Roxas groaned and held his face in his hands. "Oh... nevermind." Hayner winced.

"I didn't know what else to do! I can't think straight in that place! Too many memories, too many...things! I don't know!" Roxas cried, throwing his hands up.

"So you come home where everyone hates you?" Hayner quirked an eyebrow.

"You don't hate me and you never could! Don't say that!" Roxas snapped.

"Alright... sorry. Sad attempt at humor, there." Hayner scratched the back of his head.

"Look, I know it was stupid. But you're the one that makes sense and... and I guess I just wanted to be back in my element."

"And what about your parents and the school?" Hayner questioned.

"Ah, fuck 'em." Roxas declared, falling forward onto a pillow. "I don't care anymore."

"Alright emo kid. Well... I'm gonna go see when dinner's ready and I'll be riiiiight back, okay?" Hayner said, patting Roxas's back as he climbed off the bed. Roxas regarded him only with a muffled "Mmph." against the pillow.

Several moments passed as Roxas lay there, breathing in the familiar scent of Hayner. It was as soothing as Saix's unique fragrance had been. Judging from the laughing and muted conversation from the other room, Hayner had gotten sidetracked talking to his parents. Suddenly, as Roxas was beginning to nod off, Hayner burst into the room with a terrified look on his face.

"Roxas." he rasped, holding out the phone. "It's for you."

"Hello?" Roxas said into the receiver, his blood like ice.

"Roxas!" came a panicked, but familiar voice.

"Marluxia? How the hell did you get this number?"

"Xemnas got ahold of your file and we called your parents." Marluxia panted.

"You _what?!_"

"Calm down. Some girl named Namine answered. Gave us this number. Said that Hayner kid was your best friend."

"Namine? What's Namine doing at my house?" Roxas wondered out loud.

"Dude, there's no time for that!" Marluxia panted. It sounded like he was running. Judging from the faint crunching in the background, Roxas guessed it was across campus.

"Marly, what's wrong?" Roxas suddenly felt panic strike him. There was silence while the crunching stopped, though the panting did not. "Marly!" Roxas cried.

"It's...It's Axel, Roxas. You need to come back." Marluxia's voice was grave. _"I'll die without you, I __swear it!"_ Axel's voice echoed through his mind.

"What's wrong?! Is he okay?" Roxas instantly burst into tears, gripping the comforter tightly.

"I don't know." Marluxia whispered, defeated. "But you need to come back. Your ticket's been paid for and your train leaves in thirty minutes. Hurry." and the line went dead.

"Marly?" Roxas inquired. "Marluxia!" silence. "Damn it!" he tossed the phone across the bed.

"Roxas, what's wrong?" Hayner's face was grave.

"Axel..." Roxas began. "I think I've killed him." he sobbed. Hayner's tough exterior melted as he wrapped his friend in a hug.

"What are you talking about?"

"I have to get to the trainstation." Roxas said suddenly, standing and pulling Hayner with him through the doorway.

"What... why?" his friend-in-tow questioned. Roxas ignored him. All he could see as he ran through the streets of his home to the station was Axel's face, scarred on his memory forever like a razorblade on flesh.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alright, now I'm sure that by now we alllll know what's coming.

We've all known for about three chapters now.

This was a bit of a filler/explainer chapter.

And the Namine being at Roxas's house bit we'll get to later.

I don't know why, but I really didn't like this one.

-shrug-

Moving on...

People who read and don't review get aids and their children are born deformed.  
Genuine scientific fact, I assure you.


	28. Much less painful

Wahoo!

Back for more, I see. You're just a glutton for punishment, aint ya?

It's a good thing and I love you for it!

It's taken me so long to update and I apologize.

Don't hate me forever...it's just hard to be inspired when you're constantly swamped with unimportant BS and forced to deal with it.

Moving on...

**To prevent confusion:** This chapter is done a bit in retrospection. It covers Axel's side of the story from the moment Zexion informed him of Roxas's 'doings' right up until the end of the last chapter.

_**WARNING:**_ This chapter gets a wee bit graphic. And not in the loverly lemony way.

**Musical Inspiration:** "Redemption" by Gackt (this song OWNS MY SOUL)

**Dedication:** People who review are the coolest ever. You know you are!

**ChaosGarden-** Who continues to be a never ending stream of support and love for this story.

And** Xyal**, who made me do a fangirlish squeal of joy with one of the most flattering and inspiring reviews I've gotten in a long time!

Onward to the angst and whatnot....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"**Much less painful"**

Axel had barely managed to get any sleep at all that night. He'd said goodbye to Roxas mere days ago, though it felt like an eternity. Xigbar was at school for the holidays, neither of his parent being very celebratory. But everyone else was gone, even Saix. Finally, after tossing and turning in his bed, Axel had fallen into a shallow slumber after hours of homework.

It wasn't very late in the night. Only around 8:15, so he shouldn't have reacted as harshly when he heard his phone beep a few notes from "Caramelldansen" to inform him that he had a text message.

"Going to kill you!" Axel cried into the pillow where his face was buried, searching the top of his crowded night table for his phone. He wrapped long, thin fingers around it and flipped the screen open with a sigh. Rubbing one of his eyes with a knuckle to clear the haze, he squinted through the dark at the blocky letters on the LCD. Pressing a button with his thumbnail, Axel opened the message. It was from Zexion.

'Hey. Can I talk 2 u?' it read. Axel scoffed and pressed 'reply'.

'Can it wait? I'm trying to sleep.' he sent the message and collapsed back into the pillow. A few moments later, the phone chirped the same few notes and Axel lifted tired eyes to the screen.

'U want 2 know what I have 2 say, trust me.' was the return message. Axel tapped a few keys rapidly.

'Stop using textspeak. You know that irritates me. What do you want, Zex?'

'It's about Roxas.' appeared in Axel's inbox after five minutes.

'What about Roxas? Is he okay?!'

'Yeah. He's fine. But...'

'Oh damn you, Zexion! Out with it!' Axel's patience wore thin as he silently tapped away on the buttons.

'I think he cheated on you.' Zexion's message brought bile rising through Axel's throat as his fingers went cold.

'What do you mean you "think"?' he demanded.

'I think he slept with Xemnas.'

'WHAT?!'

'Yeah. I walked in on them.' There was a cameraphone picture attached to the message. Axel opened it to find two silhouetted figures that matched the heights of Xemnas and Roxas, though it was too dark to see anything else.

Axel was too stunned for words. He slowly let the phone slip from his fingers, not bothering to reply as he crawled off his bed. Xigbar was still in the common area, his feet propped up on the beautiful wooden coffee table while he browsed a muscle car magazine with a well-endowed woman in a red string bikini on it's cover. He smiled warmly over the top of it at Axel, who was slowly shuffling his way to the bathroom.

"Can't sleep, buddy?" he asked in a drawl. Axel shook his head and continued walking. Once inside the sterile, white bathroom, Axel opened the medicine cabinet, pulling one of Xigbar's triple blade razors from it's shelves. Closing the cabinet door, he stared briefly at his reflection.

His hair was shiny....almost to the point of looking greasy. His eyes were sunken and bloodshot from no sleep. He felt as terrible as he looked. Silently, he cracked open the frail plastic, watching three sharpened strips of metal scatter across the countertop. Slowly, he picked one up and examined it.

"_I swore I wouldn't..."_ Axel thought miserably._ "Just a little. A little and I'll be fine..."_

Biting his lip, Axel dragged the razor across his arm lightly, applying just enough pressure to feel a subtle bite. Looking down, he watched the thin line of red well up and shine against faded scars. Looking away again, Axel pressed the razor harder. This time, the whisper quiet sound of the razor slicing flesh could be heard over his pathetic whimper.

He thought absently about how it sounded like the soft tearing of paper. The blood rose to the surface much faster this time, spilling through the severed skin and dripping down his arm like a tear across his face. He repeated the process, keeping his cuts shallow. Enough to make him bleed...enough to make him hurt. Never enough to kill him.

Groaning, Axel held his bleeding arm over the sink and watched as the crimson spilled onto the gleaming white porcelain. Wincing at the slowly increasing, throbbing pain, Axel tore a few squares of toiletpaper from the roll and pressed them to his arm, closing his eyes.

There was a knock at the door. Axel hadn't realized it, but his voice was choked with the tears he didn't even know he was crying. It was enough to send Xigbar into a frenzy on the other side of the white wooden door. After much protesting from Axel, his boisterous roommate managed to pick the lock on the bathroom. His face at the sight of Axel was a mixture of fear, confusion, anger and nausea.

After helping Axel up the stairs and bandaging his fresh wounds, Xigbar demanded an explanation. Axel showed him the photo on his phone and proceeded to watch his roommate stomp around the room, proclaiming that he was going to "nail the both of them right between the eyes" when Roxas and Xemnas returned home.

Axel had managed to soothe his friend, though not by much. He stood outside the door of the room, sending everyone away who came to talk to Axel. Even Saix, who'd only wanted to show off his gifts when he returned from visiting his family. He got only a brief explanation of Axel's current situation and a stern look from Xigbar that could not be argued.

The redhead had insisted time and time again that Xigbar did not need to act like his emotional bodyguard. That he could have guests. Though, his refusal to eat gave Xigbar all the metaphorical fuel he needed for his 'I'm not moving and you can't make me' argument. Axel slipped in and out of consciousness over the next few days, waking up only long enough to take short, almost painful sips of water.

A terrible, though unrecallable nightmare had woken Axel from his shallow sleep. He sat up, trembling and gasping. Carefully, he prodded the bandages on his arm as he sniffled. Xigbar's raised voice outside the door caught his attention, and he listened, but his frazzled mind comprehended nothing of the faint words. Suddenly, there came a knock at his door and the voice he'd been wanting to hear for so long.

"Axel?" Roxas's voice cut through the haze like a heated knife through butter. Axel stopped sniffling and cleared his throat quietly.

"Come in." he called, sitting up as straight as he could manage, watching his world creep through the door with a pained expression smeared across his face.

The next few hours were a blur of emotion, carnal passion and the first peaceful sleep Axel had enjoyed in what felt like years. Upon waking, Roxas had dropped the ultimate bombshell. With confusion wracking his mind, Axel watched Roxas dart down the stairs with the warmth of his touch and harshness of his words lingering on Axel's every nerve.

"_What about me?! Roxas!"_ Axel's subconscious screamed the words that wouldn't form on his tongue. _"Come back! Don't you leave me! I need you!"_

Roxas had called himself a poison. Claimed he was killing Axel. Didn't he realize that every moment spent away from the tiny blond's shining eyes and kind soul was chipping pieces away from Axel's very being? Sobbing, Axel slid down the wall, wrapping his arms around the bony knees that were pulled to his chest, burying his face within them.

Xigbar appeared in the doorway, kneeling to pat Axel's flattened hair gently. The redhead slapped his hand away and continued to cry. Sniffling, he rose to his feet and brushed past Xigbar, rushing down the stairs and back into the bathroom, praying that his roommates hadn't been smart enough to hide the razors. They hadn't been.

Tearing open the medicine cabinet once more, he pulled a razor from the shelve and cracked it open, just as he had before. Without even hesitating, he drove the tip of the metal sliver into his arm, numb to the pain. Holding his breath, he pulled on the small razorblade, wincing only slightly as a river of deep red welled up around it. The razor cut into the skin of his finger as he continued to drag it across his arm, finally stopping at the crook of it.

He stared intently through tears at his arm. Had it ever bled that much? No..it hadn't. It was a deep red, almost black and literally pouring out of his arm like a faucet on a low trickle. He could hear Xigbar pounding on the door, rattling the knob. He ignored it.

Not quite satisfied with the pain on one arm, he repeated the process on the other, watching the razor rip apart his tender flesh, feeling the sharp, searing pain burn it's way to his bones. The blood flowed quickly from both slender limbs and Axel found himself falling forward, his head spinning.

It was at that moment, face down in his own blood did Axel realize he was going to die. He'd been warned years ago that his love of self-mutilation in combination with his hemophilia would spell his end. He could practically feel the life leaving through the giant gashes in his arms. His vision blurred as the world spun beneath him and his body grew cold. He felt something rising in his throat. A sob, mingled with a bit of bile that was stirred by the potent rust smell of blood.

He heard the door frame of the bathroom splinter under excessive force and Xigbar's horrified scream, though it was like listening to an old movie in mono sound through a broken speaker. Someone was lifting him. The strong grip made Axel think it was either Xigbar or an angel, if such a thing really existed. He felt someone's tears on his face and the chest against which he was pressed kept jerking with shuddering breaths.

His head lolled to the side and he caught only a brief glance of the bare feet of someone who must have been summoned by Xigbar's screams for help before his vision went completely black. Though his body remained still, it felt like he was falling. Perhaps through the night sky, dotted with shimmering stars like tiny holes poked in the floor of heaven.

"_You were right, Roxas..."_ he thought, his own voice resonating inside his head above Xigbar's terrified pleas of 'Axel, please don't die!'. _"This death was much less painful. Though I'll never get the chance to thank you... I still love you. I always will. Let's meet again... in the next life." _

A smile on his lips that were caked with drying blood and vomit, Axel went limp in Xigbar's arms.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Go ahead and say it.

I'm the devil.

Is Axel dead? Maybe, maybe not.

If you were paying attention to previous chapters, you'll be able to figure it out.

I must admit, I hated this chapter while writing it, but after re-reading it, I really do like it.

And I know it's a bit campy, but I couldn't resist using that famous Axel line. It just fit too perfectly for me to pass it up.

Ah, the angst.

Does Axel die?  
Is Roxas's lesson about being an emo weenie learned?

Stay tuned to find out!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go check on my reservation in Hell.

If you don't review, you just might be joining me.

Friendly warning.


	29. Forgiveness

H'okay.

So, I left you all with a pretty massive cliffhanger, I suppose.

Let's get that nasty cliffy outta the way, eh?

**Musical Inspiration:** "I get it"-Chevelle

**Dedication:**

**BurningDivinity-** Or Axel, who finally got an account so she can post her awesome SaixXRoxas fic. Ah, crack pairings make the world go round. Haha... BODOM! xD

**ChaosGarden- **Who is this story's biggest fan. And giver of brutally delicious ZackXReno yaoi. Because really...who doesn't want to see that?!

Everyone who reads and reviews! I love you all so much! You make me and my inbox so very happy!

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"**Forgiveness"**

Roxas sat alone on the train as it rattled down the tracks. His MP3 player in his lap, a song playing from the tiny earbuds. He was too numb to put them in his ears. Too numb to do anything. Everything felt like a dream. Axel, the phonecall, Hayner's house.

Why had he left? Why had he done that to Axel? Did he really think leaving would make it all better? Apparently he did. And now Axel was...well... he couldn't bring himself to think about it. The darkness outside the window seemed to press in on him, mind, body and soul. It was like a fog that drifted into his ears, clouding his thoughts, making them as dark as the fog it's self. An invisible hand pressed on his chest, making it feel tight as the lights of the school's station drifted closer.

When the train finally came to a stop, Roxas stumbled off of it in a daze, scanning the sparse patches of light. A pair of arms wrapped themselves around him from the side and he caught the unmistakable scent of Armani cologne that was forever lingering on Marluxia's collarbone. Holding back a sob, Roxas returned the embrace.

"Tell me he's alive." the smaller boy wept.

"He's alive." Marluxia's voice was gravelly and sounded tired, hints of impending tears dancing along it's edges.

"Barely?" Roxas choked. There was no answer. Marluxia put a hand on Roxas's back and began leading him out of the station to a sedan that was waiting to take him back up the gravel path. Demyx, who had been leaning against it, had lost all traces of his usual bubbly exterior.

"Dem..." Roxas began, not knowing what to say to the boy, but wanting to hear the name pass his lips all the same. The tiny blond scowled at him, opening the door of the sedan and climbing inside. This hurt Roxas. Probably a lot more than it should have, he reasoned. But when he turned his tired eyes to Marluxia's, the older boy shook his head and nodded to the car. Demyx's demeanor was not to be discussed.

When the sedan passed the giant iron gate, it turned to the left, rather than the right and stopped in front of the hospital ward. As if on auto-pilot, Roxas climbed from the car and dashed through the doors of the cavernous place. A few nurses stood guard, ready to turn anyone and everyone away.

"No." said a nurse, grabbing onto Roxas's jacket. "His condition's worsened. We cannot allow visitors." her voice sent Roxas's heart plummeting. Through the shrill cry of grief in his subconscious, he could hear Marluxia's small and horrified gasp.

"Let go..." he muttered, pulling on his jacket, attempting to pry it from the nurse's vice-like grip.

"You're not allowed in here!" the nurse insisted. The concerned chatter of the doctor and nurses down the hall snapped him back to reality.

"I said let GO!" Roxas cried, wrenching himself from her grasp, flying down the hall, past occupied and empty rooms until he skid to a stop outside the room full of nurses and nervous doctors.

"God no..." he breathed at the sight that met him. Axel was strapped to a bed, his arms stitched with thick nylon, the long red gash beneath the thread staring Roxas in the face. Axel was pale, barely visible against the sheets he occupied. Some where stained where the sutures had split, and his eyes were closed, the machines beside his bed beeping sporadically.

"Easy, son." he heard a male nurse say to a young man beside the bed he only now recognized as Saix. The blue-haired boy was gripping his outstretched arm, pumping it slowly as if it were nothing more than a squeaking dogtoy. A plastic tube filled with crimson life stuck out from the crook of his arm, the other end of it attached to what was left of Axel's decimated limb. A blood transfusion.

"I said to get the hell out of here!" A sharp voice came from behind him as he felt the nurse's nails dig into his shoulder.

"No! You have to let me stay! Please!" Roxas's cries caught the attention of Saix and several nurses inside the room.

"I said no!" the nurse snapped, pulling harder on Roxas's already weak frame.

"He can stay." a deep, authoritative voice echoed in the hall, the nurse's grip vanishing almost instantly. Roxas found himself looking up through a layer of tears at Ansem.

"Thank you." he breathed in a sob-choked whisper. The dean smiled warmly and crossed his arms.

"Shall we take a walk?" he asked in the voice that reminded Roxas so much of his grandfather's. Roxas cast a glance back into the room, feeling his stomach churn each time he caught sight of Axel's ruined form. Nodding weakly, he sniffled and began walking with Ansem down the hall.

"Your friend is quite a mess." the dean said.

"Is he going to be okay?" Roxas whimpered.

"Physically, he'll be just fine. Your roommate Saix just happened to be a positive match for Axel and offered as much blood as it would take to sustain him."

"How much is that?" Roxas questioned.

"We're not sure. He's been in there for quite a few minutes and if he grows any paler, we might have to make him stop and see if the transfusion is enough." Ansem nodded. Roxas hung his head lower.

"I can't believe it..." he whispered. Ansem heaved an uncomfortable sigh.

"It is most unfortunate to have a student at my school attempt to end their life. Especially in such a violent manner. But I have a feeling he will make a full recovery."

"What do you mean?"

"Friends and loved ones heal better than any medicine." Ansem grinned. "You've shown Saix that already, have you not? It's the only reason he's now able to give blood. If he still had half the school pharmacy pumping through his veins, Axel may be in much worse shape right now. I believe you owe yourself a bit of pride on that note."

"How do you know I got Saix to stop taking all the medication?" Roxas wondered, dazed.

"I keep closer tabs on my students than you think." Ansem chuckled. "And while I certainly did not see this coming, I'm sure that as long as you're here, Axel will be just fine."

"Do you think so?"

"Love conquers all, I do believe is the saying." Ansem smiled down at Roxas, a knowing twinkle in his eyes. The blond boy hung his head bashfully and sighed.

"Can I go see him?" he begged, and was dismissed with a nod.

Roxas took off at a careful jog down the hall, stopping again in front of Axel's room. Nurses and doctor's parted and allowed him inside. He walked slowly to Axel's bedside, feeling as if the whole thing was a dream. He gripped the metal bars on the side of the bed and winced internally at how cold they were in his palm.

Saix wrapped his free arm around Roxas's waist, burying his face in the jacket the smaller boy wore. Roxas felt his hand move to tangle it's self in Saix's beautiful hair, though his eyes would not leave Axel's face. He was so sickly pale and even in sleep, he looked like he was in pain. Roxas stood completely still, watching Axel's stitched arms while the doctor pulled the plastic tube from Saix's arm, informing the boy that he could leave.

Saix mumbled something to Roxas, though the boy didn't hear it. He was still holding his breath, extending a shaking hand to Axel's. To his surprise, the medical staff did not try to stop him. His fingers curled around Axel's icy hand and feeling the clammy lifelessness of it, Roxas felt tears forming in his eyes. He sank into the chair that Saix had been occupying and hung his head, his hand still clutching Axel's.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered miserably, hearing the scuffling of shoes as doctors and nurses cleared the room. "I'm so sorry, Axel." he sobbed a little louder, lifting his eyes to look at the redhead.

"I shouldn't have left." he continued. "But I was scared. I was scared of hurting you further. Of being a constant negative influence on your life." he sniffled and leaned forward, pressing his forehead to the back of Axel's hand.

"I love you so, so much. From the moment I met you I knew my life would be different. That I'd never see the sunrise the same way ever again, that every little insignificant thing would become so full of vibrant beauty and that the world around me would finally be worth living in... just because you were there. And when you told me how you felt, it terrified me. I started to worry about losing you and it became such an obsession that I..." Roxas began choking on his words as more tears flowed from his cerulean eyes.

"I fucked it up for myself. I pushed you away when you were there all along. I'm so sorry. I love you so much, Axel..." and he collapsed into shaking sobs that were no doubt heard throughout the entire ward.

"I love you, too." Axel's scratchy voice cut through Roxas's tears. The blond's head snapped up in shock and his eyes locked with Axel's, a smile on the redhead's face.

"Axel?" Roxas gasped.

"Sometimes." was the other boy's response.

"Axel!" Roxas cried happily, leaping up from the chair to wrap his arms around Axel's neck. "You're alive!"

"Not for long if you keep cutting off my air supply." Axel choked jokingly. Roxas loosened his grip and pulled back, looking Axel in the face.

"Sorry." he blushed.

"You're forgiven."

"For everything." Roxas insisted.

"I know." Axel whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind Roxas's ear, careful not to tug too hard on the IVs in his arm.

"I'm such a fuck up. I know I shouldn't have left I just didn't know w-..." Roxas began rambling when Axel pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"I know. It's not your fault." he soothed in a whisper.

"But I..." Roxas tried to begin again.

"Roxas?" Axel sighed.

"What?"

"Just shut up and kiss me already." Axel grinned, mocking a blushing Roxas from long ago. The blond stared for a moment, smiled and lost himself in the one thing he wanted more than anything else. Axel's intoxicating kiss.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay, this one took me forever and a day. I apologize.  
Inspiration's just one of those sneaky things, so hard to grasp.

Anyway...

I feel like I've cheated you all in a way. I can't stand happy endings, personally, and I really wanted Axel to die, but that would have just killed the ending I have in mind. So I hope you guys are happy that everyone's favorite pyro lives to bitch another day.

I kinda feel like this chapter was too short as well. I dunno. The whole thing seemed a little off.

But it's not as much of a disappointment as the end of "Breaking Dawn". I wanted to see the Volturi maul Bella, damn it! Anyway...

Reviews are better than sex, people.


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